Question:

My boyfriend's ex-wife is harassing us over a tax stimulus check, what should we do?

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My current boyfriend is a great guy, and loving father of 2 daughters from his first marriage. He was married to his second wife for just a little over 3 years. I have been a co-worker and friend of his during his marriage. She is an exotic dancer who chooses not to dance or get a real job. About 2 years ago, she went through his phone and started calling all the women and accusing them of having affairs with him. This included myself and several women that we work with and his other friends including florists and other female business contacts. All of which was unfounded and not true. His wife kept the numbers she found and would sporadically call us insinuating there was an affair. She would also text graphic an sexual language from his cell phone trying to provoke some seedy or romantic information to try and validate her claims of an affair. Again, there was nothing.

During their separation, she stayed in their house with her two children from her previous marriage. It was agreed between the two of them that they would split the mortgage 50/50. He was paying her his half and she was pocketing the money knowing that she did not want the house after the divorce. This totaled approx $7000.00 over a 3 month time period. She did not disclose this to him and since all the mail was still going to house, he did not receive it. After getting back into the now trashed house (carpets ruined, cabinets broken, spray paint on walls) he learned that she had not been making the payments. She was (of course) not cooperative with the divorce paperwork but they finally came to the agreement that they would 50/50 their last years tax return, he would try to get the house financed under his name alone (now that she ruined their credit it was going to be hard), they would both get one vehicle that they were financially responsible for, and they would go their seperate ways. They were both in understanding that she owed him $3000.00 for the money she pocketed in the mortgage payments. Their tax stimulus check was just received and deposited in his bank account. She has since been texting both him and I that she is going to get him fired by going to our boss and claiming that he is committing tax fraud because he is keeping the stimulus check. The stimulus check does not even cover half of the money owed to him by her, and it was legally deposited into his checking account by the IRS. He has told her that she was not getting anything from him financially that was not in the finalized court documents because of the high amount of debt she left him with. In their divorce paperwork the only monetary item agreed on in reference to taxes was the actual tax return, which was generous because she did not have any income for that year by her own choice.

She has always sent me nasty text messages, including the typical "I heard you are ugly" and stuff like that, to claiming that he beats his children and to fear for the life of my dog because it will be beaten too. Now with this whole stimulus check thing, she is sending me messages that if I don't tell him to pay her she will get him fired by claiming tax fraud, child abuse, and that he was stealing money from charity events. All of which, again, is untrue. She also is threatening us that she is going to tell our boss that our co-workers/friends were having extra-marital affairs (which is also untrue) in an attempt to make us feel bad about ruining someone else's marriage.

All of her aligations are untrue and we are not worried about that. He told her to take him to civil court if she wants to and see what the judge decides. It would be easy to just give it to her to make her shut up, but everytime she needs money she pops up with new threats. She has been doing this since their divorce. If she needs car tabs, clothes, beauty treatments, car payment money, or anything she starts making new claims. If we pay her now, she knows she will be able to continue to do this.

What's the right thing to do? What should I do about the constant text messages? And would any of this constitute Slander or Extortion?

p.s. sorry for the long story, but i appreciate any suggestions!

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6 ANSWERS


  1. First of all, her credibility is ZERO.  If she calls his boss and tries to get him fired, she will probably be upset when his boss doesn't listen to her.  Save the voice mails, text messages and what not.  Get a restraining order.  there is no reason to live in fear of this woman's threats.  If she wants to go to court, let her take you.  I hope you took pictures of the condition of the home after she moved out.  document ALL contact with this woman.  Documentation will always win out in court versus hear say.

    Good luck.  If I were you, I'd start running, very fast, in the opposite direction.  But if you love him and want to stick it out, be prepared for a rough life.  She will never go away.


  2. Get a lawyer and take her to court.

  3. The Answer may not be what's right but what's legal. Get a lawyer. If  their tax return was filed jointly she may be entitled to half. I would put half in savings untill this is settled. As far as the other stuff, I had a simular problem. I filed a police report. my problem was solved.  

  4. You are going to have to do what my co-worker had to do with her husband's ex-wife. She was constantly doing the same thing you're claiming, texting her, threatening her husband with tax fraud and owed child support from another marriage (not even theirs). My co-worker ended up calling the police and having them talk to the woman, telling her to back off because AT&T can't block phone calls or text messages from a certain number. If that doesn't work, try a good old restraining order.

  5. If their divorce is finalized, and they have no children together, then she needs to leave you guys alone. Period. Change your numbers. Get a restraining order. Use all of the texts and threats as evidence. She will not be allowed near your house, place of work, and she won't be allowed to call any more.

    This chick has serious issues. But then again, I have yet to hear of any exotic dancers that were decent people...

  6. You got yourself involved with some real first class winners!!!

    Birds of a feather........

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