My boyfriend's soon-to-be-ex-wife is playing games to get him back. Help?

Question

My boyfriend is married to an evil woman who is abusive and controlling. He has been planning to leave her for a year now and was supported by his family and friends who love him. He even got money from his mother to pay for the witch to move out & get her own place, paying her rent & bills all summer long. He was living with her at the time in order to help with the transition and also because it would be cheaper for him in the long run.

So finally she opens her mouth with her verbal abuse and demands again and he finally moves his few meager belongings out of the house and he told her he was moving out. But she had a big fit and cried and begged and even tried to bribe him, so he stayed the night. But he left the next morning.

He has a kind heart, so he continued to text her to tell her that he's doing what he thinks is best and he will help pay for some bills. But of course he wrote he loves her. I know he called and left that on her voicemail too. She never responded. He was a mixture of sad and happy - like most survivors of an abusive relationship, but he was definitely enjoying his freedom with me if you know what I mean. So she continues to ignore him. Until some new bills came in.

So she gets the bills and calls him to pay for them. It was so sick & she is obviously just using him. He ended up taking her to dinner and a movie and spending the night. Now he's back to paying all the bills and spending nights with her. He said when he got home the first time, she sold everything he ever gave her & got all new furniture & bedding & rearranged the house & threw away anything that reminded her of him b/c she is moving on. So obviously she has no heart b/c if she did move on, she wouldn't let this man back into her home & guilt him into paying her bills like a whoore. He said he isn't having s*x with her & he wants to be with me & thinks I'm s**y & he wants a future with me, but he's working things out with her. And now she claims that her job fell through and you guessed it - my boyfriend is taking care of it for her. It's insane!

What is wrong with her? Doesn't she have any pride? How can she just use someone? How can she stand to sleep with someone who has s*x with and is in mad love with another (younger, much hotter, if I must say) woman? And why is he having anything to do with that monster after all she's done? And isn't it disrespectful to our love, even if it is temporary? I don't want to contact her to tell her the whole truth b/c he said she's crazy & his friends confirm it. He also said she knows everything anyway & love isn't what it's about. But then I find out that they're going to marriage counseling. WTF?

Answer 1

I am sorry but..

What is wrong with YOU? Don't YOU have any pride?

They were married, letting go of that is harder than you might believe.

And, you're foolish enough to think he doesn't want to stay there overnight... He wants both, get real! He wants to be with her, not you. YOU are the monster, sleeping with a married man.

Answer 2

I almost hate to be the one to say this but he did love her enough to marry her and it sounds to me like you should not be stepping in. If he wants to live at home with his wife and pay her bills wtf is wrong with that? I understand you care for this person but understand this. For your "boyfriend" you are probably just a fling. I know it hurts. But because your so hott s**y and young I'm sure you can find an unmarried man. good luck!

Answer 3

ok, you say this:  'But she had a big fit and cried and begged and even tried to bribe him, so he stayed the night. But he left the next morning.

He has a kind heart"  and then in the next breath you say  "He said he isn't having s*x with her & he wants to be with me & thinks I'm s**y" now i don't care what my man told me but if he spent the night at another woman's house ex or not, there was some hanky panky going on.  and it's not her that doesn't have pride, it sounds like you latched on to someone who is playing both of you.  

Answer 4

He is using you just like she is using him...You have to know that he slept with her..ok now " spends nights with her" ..every one knows that was "makeup s*x" now he is just trying to figure out a way to let you go. PLEASE be smart and see this for what it really is..you are a mistress. I would not allow that man to come to me while he was with her the night before...thats just sick.

Answer 5

You are dating a married man and you think that is OK? Why don't you mind your own business until your girly man is divorced? Until then I would suggest you not to waste your time on this Jerry Springer drama.

Answer 6

A village somewhere is missing their idiot.  Go back to your people.

Answer 7

Oh Annabella.....ROFLMAO.....

Honey he is playing a sad tune and has you dancing to it...wow.

I bet all this info on the wife is thru the boyfriend, right? Do ya think he might be putting a less than truthful spin on it?

I will spell it out..she is his WIFE...you are the woman he cheats with.....okay? She has all the rights in the eyes of God and the Law...you are a non-person....and there was a time the wife could have sued you for leading her husband into adultery..and she would have won a judgement against you.



He's her man until she divorces him....simple as that. You have no legal or moral rights as far as he is concerned. Many would call you the w****, not the wife. Understand that.

He's not gonna leave the wife...everything he's told you is a lot of Who -Shot-John. You're the mistress/booty call/ other woman/trick on the side....time to wake up, Hon. If you don't you'll deserve all the heartache you're headed for.

Answer 8

He wants his wife and marriage back. You're only an unpaid w***e in his eyes, you really think he wants to marry you? Get a grip.

Answer 9

I started to feel sorry for him but as I read on I feel sorry for you. Why don't you move to a relationship that dosen't involve MARRIED people. Your not the brightest crayon in the box are you sweetheart.  

Answer 10

LOL! Oh, isn't he such a victim? I particularly like the part about how your "survivor of an abusive relationship" is only telling her he loves her, paying the bills, living with her, and going to counseling because he has such a big heart! Isn't that just warm and fuzzy! And isn't it so convenient that he thinks its a bad idea for you to talk to her personally because she's "too crazy" Why don't you go out on a limb and find out for yourself just how crazy she is and freakin' call her. My guess is that all of this is going to be big news to her!

Oh and all the business about "What is wrong with her? and Doesn't she have any pride"....please! look in the mirror. This is her HUSBAND. You are his w***e on the side.

Answer 11

I am sitting here laughing at how twisted you view is you are calling the wife a w***e for sleeping with her husband oh my and you ask if she had pride do you you are sleeping with a man who not only is sleeping with his wife but is paying her bills and moved back in with her omg! don't you know men stretch the truth to bed women on the side and there friends go along with it so when they need back up they can get it when they want to cheat you are not only everything you called her but on top of it you are not very smart people don't say I love you move back in and go to counseling when they want out.

Answer 12

Well girl I hate to tell you this but you need to find someone new. This man has this woman that for some reason is hanging on to because he feels its right. If their spending nights together, paying her bills, and more there is no point on being in this relationship. You are getting pulled many ways and he isn't even thinking about you at all and just doing what he wants with her. Find someone who makes time for you and who doesn't have all this baggage left - its just not fair and it'll never end. Good luck and take care girl!

Answer 13

r u that dense?

first off you went out with a MARRIED MAN! that should tell you he's a lier and a cheat and now your pissed cause he still has feelings for his WIFE.

another prime candidate for a darwin award.

Answer 14

I really don't know where to begin.  You are involved with a married man, that is wrong.  What have you learned here?  If he is going to counseling with her, clearly he is not done with the relationship and you are used, alone, confused and being made a fool of.  Get some self respect and get out of the "relationship" if you can call it that.  It doesn't sound like she will be his ex anytime soon.

Answer 15

I didn't even bother reading that, all I read was my boyfriends soon to be ex wife... and you are with him................... uh...............

Have fun with that

Answer 16

anne, i'm going to say this as nicely as possible because you are my contact. i have read a couple of your other questions, and i really find it hard to believe that you have balls this big. the first question of yours i ever answered was about how you were so devastated that your husband was cheating on you. i would think that you would know, based on personal experience, what it feels like to have your husband cheat on you. yet you seem to relish the fact that you are sleeping with someone else's husband.

regardless if you think she's "crazy", which he would obviously say in order to justify his disgusting behavior. have a little decency and let this jerk go. remember that what goes around comes around, and you will be crying again when it happens to you.

peace, love & respect

Answer 17

Are you for real?  Is your question REALLY "Whats wrong with HER?"  The question should be -  what is wrong with my spineless married boyfriend who has no guts and cant break up with his wife and lets her s hit all over him?

And, what is wrong with YOU for believing that a man who sleeps at his wifes house when they are in the middle of a tumultous time is actually not having s*x with her?   Do you honestly believe that?  They are back and forth, still sleeping together and you are the one who is being used

Answer 18

I think that you need to find a new boyfriend.  Not only is this guy still married, he's spending the night at her house and paying her bills.  I think that it's time for you to start setting some boundaries if you are intent on staying with him.  I mean, where's YOUR pride?  She's got your man on a leash and he's not even fighting it.  Get out of this relationship because it really sounds like a dead end.

Answer 19

RUN! Don't just run...RUN FAST AND DON'T LOOK BACK!