My boyfriend and Drinking! I need help please.?

Question

Well when i first meet my boyfriend he was on alcohol bracelets so he couldn't drink. And that is something i loved about him. I don't like guys that drink well anyway after he got off them he started to drink alot not everyday just when he would drink he would drink until the alcohol is gone that is what he always does and if there ain't enough for him to get wasted he will leave and get more and stay gone all night he gets crazy and out of control. He ran threw my fences twice and something bad always happens and he pees places in my house when he drinks. Anyway after well at the least 3 or 4 months of begging him to stop he eventually stopped and hasn't done it since but now all of a sudden he wants to drink again he begs me every night he says that he wont drink alot ( i don't believe him ) i don't know if i should give in and let him drink or if i should keep trying to make him stop. He just got a good job paying $17.50 and he is going to school. I dont want him to mess it up cuz no one thought he would make something of him self but i believe he can. I just think alcohol will mess it up! His 21st b-day is cumming up and he said he ain't going to spend it with me cuz he wants to drink. I dont know what to do.

Answer 1

Sorry dude, but it sure does sound like you are an alcoholic. I started my younger days partying all the time and having the time of my life. I too had to drink until it was a ll gone and wouldn;t even want to start drinking if I knew there wan;t enough to satisfy me... this is a bad sign.

Your gf says you've been begging to start drinking again and that all you want to to on your 21st is drink... this too is a bad sign. Drinking to black out...til you can;t remmeber sh*t is another bas sign. If you are getting in to hella trouble and pissing on things and what not, you may think this is normal behavior at your age, btu the truth is there are plenty of people much older than you who probably haven;t drank as much as you;ve already drank in your young life.

I think you should seriuosly consider professional help man. I'm sober now, but its taking me years of on again off again, ruined relationhshipt, missed - great opportunuties. AND its a goddamn shame. Don;t waste you time. You deserve better in your life and so does your gf. She seems to care for you very much and you should start working on really understanding what that means right now rather than later when its too late. Some of us are too dumb to recognizqe we have a disease and that admitting to that makes us weak.... it does not. You have a strong proclivity for the drink as many men and women before you, its not weakness, its a disease. Get the help you need. I really hope you do before you start losing things that truly matter.

If he doesn;t want to go to classes then maybe he wants to go down this road and explore his drinking"fetish" and maybe you DO need to leave becasue this lifestyle isn;t usally too condusive to a good relationship.

Answer 2

I'm sorry but it sounds like you guys are not well matched. He really likes to drink and party and you don't. Eventually you'll resent him for not doing what you want him to do and he'll resent you for being on his case all the time. No one changes for someone elses sake.

Answer 3

I really think you should try orthomolecular therapy. The originator of Alcoholics Anonymous used niacin on patients with amazing results. The craving for alcohol can be related to specific nutrient deficiencies. Try taking 2x 500mg inositol hexanicotinamide (no flush niacin)  daily and a b-50. I used to drink heavily when I went out, now after niacin therapy I don't even like to get a strong buzz, I naturally drink much less!

Answer 4

its not up to you to make him stop drinking, it is up to himself!

If he loves you he will stop.

From the way it sounds he has a very serious problem with drinking and he will cause only further damage to your relationship or even worse if he's driving when he's drinking and killing someone innocent.

If he insist on drinking and being out of control LEAVE NOW before you get hurt.

Answer 5

Dump him.  He's an alcoholic and can't be responsible for himself, so how can be responsible for a relationship?  It's only a matter of time before his alcoholism hurts you or others.

He was fine when he had the bracelet on, right?  But then when it came off he went back to being an alcoholic.  We know he could choose to be sober, but instead he's chosen to be an alcoholic.  You should choose to be with someone else.

Answer 6

Go to AA, or your local hospital and get help. This is alcoholism at its finest. Don't delay help both yourselves today! Good luck

Answer 7

It sounds to me like he is powerless over alcohol.  Once alcoholics drink their is NO stopping them.  They need to want it for themselves and unfortunately need to go to lame *** AA meetings for their whole life...or one day at a time some stupid saying like that... Alcoholics will drink over all else... even themselves.  I know Im an alcoholic, but CANT STAND AA, which puts me in a real S****y spot.  

Answer 8

you should have known he was like that when you met him and he had the BAC bracelet, but getting someone to stop drinking is hard you have to be willing to give and take going cold turkey on anything is really really hard (trust me) dont force him to do anything he dont want to the person HAS to be WILLING and WANT to make the change for themself and if you force it on him youll push him away.

good luck

( i was addicted to things much much worse and ive been sober for 1 year its hard but encouragement from friends and family help A LOT!)

Answer 9

It's sound like he is drinking Alcoholically . Go to a AA meeting and listen to some of the stories. You can go to an Al-Anon meeting. From my own personal experience if he starts drinking and doesn’t  stop until the booze runs out and has to run out and get more  then there is a problem.

Answer 10

OK, the first sign that a person shouldn't be drinking is when it causes problems, either public or personal.  Having a drink or two isn't really bad, but drinking to intentionally get drunk when you full well know you get out of control is a sign that your b'friend needs to get some personal counseling.  There must be some reason he feels like doing this.  I also want to let your boyfriend know that it is a very rare and outstanding thing to have someone care for your well being.  To have someone who cares for you is what most people seek.  If you find someone who cares like that and you care about them you should respect that relationship.  Of course, you can't be your boyfriends mother, but at the same time, he should have enough self respect to not to want to get p**s drunk every time he drinks.  It's not a pretty site to see someone constantly getting drunk.  He should also consider that he is putting the general public in danger when he drinks and drives.  Which is illegal to do.  You can lose a lot by getting busted doing that.  It will always follow you and will give anyone who knows the impression that you are an alcoholic.  We all have habits, but we must be in control of them otherwise they will control you.  Now it's pretty dumb not to spend time with your girlfriend on your birthday because you want to drink. It gives her the impression that drinking is more important than she is to you.  I'm not saying don't drink, but do so responsibly.  You are an adult now and you can't keep blaming your stupidity on youth. Good Luck and consider any counseling you may receive.  Go and talk it all out with someone.  You don't have to tell anyone you are going.  Just do something to help yourself.  Somebody cares for you. Respect that and most of all respect yourself.

Answer 11

That one drink will mess up everything, because then you'll want another then another and it won't end. If you actually care about her and the way your life has changed, don't drink. Do you really want to risk it all for alcohol? Is it really worth it? ask yourself that.

My best friend is in the same situation, shes about to have a baby anyday now and her bf is an alcoholic and is a complete jurk to her. And she puts up with it.

Do not put up with it.

Answer 12

Your boyfriend is addicted to alcohol. Nothing you say or do will get him to stop. He has to want to leave it alone. Your life will be wasted dealing with his addiction. Is that what you want? If I were you, I would take some time totally away from him and go to Al-Anon meetings. Staying by his side out of loyalty or thinking you can help him will not help either of you.

Answer 13

Wow - he's not even 21 yet and drinking like that already!  There is a definite problem there.  I think he needs professional help.  I have seen alcohol ruin too many lives.