My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years but I still don't know that much about his sister.

Question

They're really close and when the 3 of us get together, they tend to have conversations and private jokes that I don't get/understand.

I've tried spending time with her (alone and with my boyfriend) but we tend to have those awkward silences because we don't have much in common.

She doesn't have that many female friends and I think I could be a good friend to her.

I've tried to explain how I'm feeling left out to my boyfriend and I'd like to be included as I think it's important for us to get along.

He explained she is a difficult person to get on with, and not to stress it.

It's hard because they chat away ages on the phone and she's now said she wants them to go into business together.

I'm starting to feel like I'm being pushed aside.

Answer 1

  I don't know what you can do about that, but, I've got five sisters and I don't have that kind of intimacy with either of them and I'm happy and I'd bet they'd be happy about that.  

I think there's a bit too, close ties there and you might consider moving on and developing other interests.

thanks

Answer 2

She's his sister - they're always going to have jokes that you don't understand from when they were growing up. I personally wouldn't worry about it that much. I know how you feel, though - trust me, I've been there! I have nothing in common with my brother's new wife (so I'm in the place of your bf's sister) and tried for a long time to get to know her better, but in the end I've settled for things to just happen naturally. My brother and I have inside jokes and things like that, and that's going to be the same for all sibling groups!

Now, if the time he spends with her is an issue, you should talk to him about it. Otherwise, try to spend more time with the two of them together and see if you can find *something* you have in common. Do you two enjoy shopping, concerts, a certain sport, etc? Maybe send her an email and see if she'd like to do coffee one afternoon. Going out for coffee is low-pressure and you only have to go for an hour or so - make plans with another friend for afterwards so if things aren't going well, you have an easy out.

Good luck! I've been there, so I understand how you feel!