My boyfriend and I have only been dating for 3 months, but are already considering engagement. Is this normal?

Question

My boyfriend and I knew each other for a year before we started dating, but were never very close. Now that we've been dating for 3 months I feel like we really have gotten to know each other very well. We are not ready to take our relationship to the next step due to finances and living situations, but we talk about it all the time. Is this normal? And can this be a problem for our relationship?

I'm sure it'll happen, but in good time. I don't want to rush anything. But it gets brought up a lot, and we both LOVE talking about it and our future.

Answer 1

My parents got engaged after three months, and they were together for seventeen years. My fiance and I have known each other for three years, have been dating for two and a half, and got engaged in June. It doesn't really matter when you get engaged, but you should not say yes unless you have no doubt that this is the man that you will spend the rest of your life with. If you have any little inkling of hesitation, don't get engaged yet. There's time. Congratulations.  

Answer 2

My husband and I moved in together after 4 months, were engaged at 8 months and married before our 2 year anniversary.  It's ok.  We have the best relationship of anyone we know.  We knew what we wanted.  We were right for each other.  So we didn't waste time.  

Answer 3

An engagement is not going to hurt your relationship in a big way unless you set that wedding date for the near future. I have a friend who got engaged after seeing the girl for only two months and they are happily married. Dont think that because it hasnt been years you cant know that he isnt the right guy for you... Be happy!

Answer 4

No it is not unusual, especially since you had known each other for a while before dating. On the other hand, my brother got engaged after about four months of dating a girl who he did not know AT ALL before their first date. Doing something like that is a great way to strip years off your parent's lives.

Answer 5

It is not a problem to talk about it right now and being that you both agree that you are not financially ready for that then that's even better.  Don't rush into the actual engagement quite yet.  Keep talking about it and plan it out perfectly!

One word of advice... when you do become engagement be engaged for at least a year.  It really does make a difference.  

Good luck to you!

Answer 6

Marriage is a big step. Dating and quickly talking about marriage could be a side affect of the star struck period new couples go through. It is proven that in new relationships people are so high on the feeling that they tend to overlook quirks or issues which can be tell tale signs of bigger issues. I would suggest that since the situation now is not conducive for the next time you take time to really learn about each other. Find a list of deep probing questions for new couples on the internet. Have deep discussions about beliefs, dreams, growing up and life. During these deep dicussions you can learn a great deal about yourself and your partner which can help you realize if a serious future is a good idea. Spontaneous decisions can sometimes work out but your life is one you need to approach very seriously and not react on chance.  

Answer 7

I don't think it is a problem, as long as you remember that when a relationship is still new both parties are putting their best foot forward.  Once the relationship is more mature, even 6 to 12 months old, see how you guys work together.  Though there is nothing wrong with just having a long engagement.

Answer 8

My fiance and I decided we were the ones for each other after about one week of dating.  We signed a lease on an apartment together after two months, opened a joint checking account after two and a half monts, and got engaged after three months.  And broke up 8 months later.  But don't worry, we got back together after just like 3 days, but we stayed "disengaged" and lived apart for about a year or so.  5 years went by before he proposed again, during which time we really had a chance to grow together and face different situations that strengthened our love, and now I know this time we're really ready to get married.  By our wedding day, we'll have been together exactly 7 years, and I know EXACTLY who I'll be saying "I do" to.  

I guess my point is, don't rush the engagement, no matter how much you love each other.  Wait for a while and just enjoy being together and getting to really know each other.  Live together maybe, if you're OK with living together before marriage.  I think it's great that you're already talking about it, and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 9

Too soon...but good luck, anyway.

Answer 10

Congratulations. I think it sounds like you have a really nice relationship. Go for it, get engaged and wait a couple of years and plan the best wedding ever!!

Answer 11

My current fiance and I talked about marriage after our third date!!! We dated for 18 months before he proposed. We knew each toher for 11 years before we even started dating. We're getting married 8/1/09. We talk about marriage, family, children and the future all the time, there's nothing wrong with that! Consider it your sign, start saving and planning! You are absolutely right, when the time comes everything will fall into place.

Good luck!

Answer 12

My parents married after shorter time than that, and they're still married almost 20 years later. Good luck!

Answer 13

my pparents got engaged after 2 weeks of dating.. and they are still married

Answer 14

No, it's not normal - it shows immaturity.

It doesn't matter how long you knew each other, it's how long you are seriously dating. You need a year and a half to two years.

Answer 15

lol nothing wrong in talking about it, i discussed childraising and everything with bf, will be at least 2-3 years before its a posibility

Answer 16

Good for you.  Plan well, save money, make this work for yourself.  You can be engaged for years.  You don't have to be, but planning is the key.  

Answer 17

Well it's a commitment that you have to be willing to take. I don' t think it is weird. Well how old are you anyways? But do you love him? Can you picture your life without him? Think about that.

Answer 18

just take your time. if you two really love each other then it wont matter if you get engaged now or in a couple of years. Don't rush. i have been engaged for 2 years and the wedding still isn't until summer 09.  

Answer 19

You could very much be meant for each other, but I'd give it at least a year before you get engaged.  You want to see him in all the "seasons".  Maybe he gets really depressed over the holidays, or is a crazy fan of some sport that drives you nuts.  At the 3 month mark you're still in the infatuation phase and not seeing things super clearly.  If its meant to be, there should be no harm in waiting.  I think its fine to talk about a future together, but slow down a little.

Answer 20

I think it's normal and I don't think it's a problem.  My fiance and I were dating for a month before we started talking marriage.  Down to what flowers we'd have.  And then, a mere 11 1/2 years later, we're planning our wedding.  Albeit with different flowers.  :)

Answer 21

I'm going to give you an honest opinion, if you don't mind.

The first few months of a new relationship is great because its all fake.  There are a lot of smiles and love but no one is being real.  It's isn't until both of you show your true side when you can really determine whether you would be good together.  A lot of times what will happen is people get off on the high of the relationship, get married, the relationship turns ugly (which is so normal is not even funny), and people become disillusioned (ie cheating or divorce).

I think that you should do yourself the favor and enjoy dating him for a while.  Get to really know him, show him everything about you.  And down the line if the time is right, then you can start talking about engagements and what not.

Answer 22

I know that for me personally, I have never been in a relationship where we haven't talked about the future very early on. I think that rather than classifying something as normal or not it really just depends on the individuals involved. If the two of you have similar goals and desires then it won't do any damage to your relationship, and if you do have different opinions on a topic, getting it out in the open sooner rather than later will help you decide if being together is worth the time and effort.

Answer 23

every couple is different but if you are having cold feet about moving too fast. i say take your time and not talk about it.

if he really loves you, then he'll understand that u guys are just thinking too fast and not rationally without substaining your financial and living situations.

Answer 24

Just remember -- any creep/psycho/nut job can be on his/her best behavior for 6 months, and lots can do it for over a year.  Some parts of a person's character can only be revealed over time, and after the relationship has been tested by real life situations.  You're still in the honeymoon period (enjoy!  this part is fun!).  Let the next part unfold naturally before you take the plunge.

Answer 25

My parents got engaged 4 hours after meeting each other for the first time and married 6 weeks later.  They've been married for 27 and a half years and are so in love with each other.  As long as you're mature and realistic, you can have a successful marriage.

Answer 26

Why would you be dating each other if you didn't think this might happen? It's perfectly normal, although I'd give it a bit more time before actually getting engaged.