My boyfriend and I plan a short vacation, and would it be a good idea to take my son with us?

Question

I have been a single mom for almost 8 years (was too busy rasing my son) and didn't have a chance to date seriously. About a year and a half ago, I met this guy, and we started dating. We have been together since than. He hasn't been asking much about my son or spent time with him (well...I also wasn't ready to share my son with him) but at this point, I would like them to communicate.

My boyfriend has invited me to a 3 day-getaway but he didn't mention anything about taking my son with us. I would like to take him with us but I don't know if it is right to take him with us, or it is right to approach the subject. My son is 8-years-old.

I am thinking that it would be nice to see them communicating and see how my son is treated.

Please advice me.

Thanks.

Answer 1

what type of vacation is it?

Is it a wine tasting weekend in wine country?

Is it a stay at a quaint bed and breakfast in the middle of nowhere?

Are you going to a swanky hotel to do swanky things?

Because these options are not kid-friendly and you would be misinterpreting his romantic intentions if you ask to bring your son.  My guess is that he was thinking this would be a kidless getaway since he never mentioned your son...  if the relationship continues and progresses, this is something that you know needs to change...

However, perhaps you could turn the getaway into something that would be great bonding for your boyfriend and your son.  They clearly need bonding as your boyfirend doesn't even ask much about him... have you told your boyfrined that you would like him to bond more with your son?  Are you afraid of saying something like that as it puts you and your relationship on the line??

Take the plunge.  Have the conversation with your man.  It sounds like he is really into you and maybe he is waiting for you to bring it up because he has been following your cues of keeping your son out of it.

The question here is what would you do if you were unhappy with the way your bf treats your son?  Are you afraid of the answer?

Remember that your son is old enough to handle you dating and if this guy doesn't work out you will have learned from this and can date again.  But really, that is beside the point since I have a feeling this guy will be great with your son.

Good luck!!!

Answer 2

i would just ask your b/f if its just an adult getaway if so then obvisouly dont take your son, but if its just a simple getaway then i would just ask your b/f if he would like to get to know your son and if he can come along and see how them two get along, if he doesnt go for it or doesnt want to take him then maybe you should re think this guy if he doesnt want to get to know your son or be with your son.

Answer 3

If he hasn't asked about him or spent any time with him, it sounds to me like your boyfriend is not at all interested in your son.

I would not recommend a vacation being the time they meet and try to bond.  Do you know where you'll be going?  Some locations aren't kid friendly and your boyfriend may want it as a weekend just for the two of you.  I don't se any problem with asking him about it, but be prepared for your boyfriend to not like the idea.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Of course you should, you're a mom before you are a friend to him. Just arrange for separate rooms so you can stay with your son.

Answer 5

I plan weekend getaways for me and my husband just so we can see that "WE" still exsist not just mom and dad.. I think you should find a sitter for your son and go and have a great relaxing weekend.  

Answer 6

I think it's time to find out if your boyfriend is interested in going to the next step, or only interested in dating you, and it is time for you to find out. When I was single and was interested in a new relationship I insisted on my daughter going out with us on our second or third date. I wasn't interested in just dating and I wasn't interested in someone that wouldn't be able to be a good dad to my daughter. But then I have always moved my relationships way too fast. I have just been lucky and things have always worked out. Then why was I single, you ask? My late husband passed and I was a widow after 29 years of marriage. I have now been married 10 years and he is a good husband and a good dad.