My boyfriend cant handle his alcohol how can i help him to know his limits for the sake of our relationship?

Question

I am just wondering if anyone can help does anyone know any good websites or helplines in the north of england(helpful ones!) that i can contact just to get some advice or to find out about help groups for my boyf.

we somtimes end up in fights about his drinking and i really dont want us to break up i want us to sort it out before it becomes more of a prob.

hes not an alcoholic, he doesnt even drink that much really, but its small amounts on a daily basis odd pints on an afternoon during day out then couple of cans on the night. he doesnt go a day without anything. its as if he needs to have it has a crutch he wouldnt think he could go a whole day and night without it. its a habit.

thing is he gets drunk and blary eyed so easily maybe its cos as hes only a smallish bloke i dont know! i hate to see him like this has he has trouble concentrating and talking and we end up arguing. this is not good as he has a terrible temper. how do i approach this? pls help

Answer 1

One good piece of advise I can give you is NEVER argue with someone who's drunk. It leads to nowhere. No matter how much you tell him or what u say, an intoxicated person cannot comprehend ANYTHING.  It's like their brain shuts down. talk to him when he's sober and make him understand how much this is hurting you. if he still doesn't get a clue then u need to move on. You DO NOT need to be married to someone who doesn't give a sh*t about how this affects you.

dont let him walk all over your feelings because he will continue to do it ALL THE TIME.

Good Luck Sweetie

Answer 2

You say hes not an alcoholic?????

Then you say he doesn't go a day without anything and that he needs to have it???

Which one is it?

Sounds like he is and you are trying to Change him.

If HE doesn't want to change. You can't make him. Maybe you providing help will persuade him to make himself  better.

He has to want  help for himself NOT for the relationship.

I can't see how a guy like this is making you happy???

But I guess you like his temper and arguments?

Answer 3

Doesn't matter how much he drinks if it creates problems it is a problem.  You can't help him if he doesn't want help.  The person you need to help is yourself.  The question you have to answer is if he doesn't stop will you stay?  He can't love alcohol and you both.

Answer 4

Did you meet him in a bar?  I've never met an alcoholic that thought  they have a problem.  Explain to him that he has been brain-washed by the media.  Ever wonder why they're still playing old songs like "Have a Drink on Me", or Smoking in the Boys room?  Just pay attention to all the commercials then tune them out, shut them off.  Keep a list of all the cash spent on alcohol.  Think of all the alcohol related incidents; make a list.  Remember all the alcohol related relationships that have gone bad.  Then change your habits and boyfriend before he becomes your abusive husband.  Run!!!

Answer 5

Try to get him to realize the alchol is damaging his body and his urinary system. It is hard to quit something your used to but try to get him to stop drinking small amounts at a time. He will have to if he wants to maintain a good relationship which involves a lot of talking and understanding.