My boyfriend constantly cuts me off when we're in public ... should I be worried?

Question

Ok I know it sounds small but when were together with friends or whatever I will start to say something and he will interrupt and not let me finish. Or, when someone asks me a question, he will jump in and answer for me.

I know its not a matter of life and death but it makes me feel like I don't have a voice and he doesnt care about what I have to say about anything ... is this a sign of a bigger problem?

Answer 1

Jump in when he talks!!!!!

Answer 2

Well in my experience, he could think that you like it. Some guys think that if they can successfully complete someone else's points, then the other person will think that they are understood better by the guy.

Talk to him about it, tell him to stop and if he does it again bring it up until he gets it right... it's a minor thing but it could cause bigger problems.

Answer 3

no, no sign, he just like that deal with it, talk to him about it, or killl him. those are your options.

Answer 4

This is very disrespectful and you should not put up with it. It is one of those "little annoying things" that will become a major issue later on.

Answer 5

This is very common in many men. It may not be that he doesn't care about what you say but that he feels he is more entitled to having a say than you are.

There are a lot of feminist theories about this and how men feel more entitled to and therefore use more public space to the detriment of other genders.

In essence though, these theories will not help you figure out your current relationship.

If this is something that should worry you is up to you and how things go from here. If it bothers you, start with the first step, which is letting him know how you feel.

Personally, this kind of things drives me crazy and on top of feeling that I don't have a voice, I get bothered by all the political implications. It doesn't mean he's necessarily sexist, but it is a sexist behaviour that shows that he seems to think that what he has to say somehow has more value or deserves to be heard more than what you say.

It's entirely possible that he doesn't realize he's doing this though, so you should give him the benefit of the doubt. Any man who loves you will care about how you feel and will make an attempt at respecting your feelings. That doesn't mean he'll stop cutting you off, but he should at the very least show some compassion towards you and appreciate this bothers you.

I don't think it's a sign of a bigger problem unless he dismisses how you feel when you explain this to him. My bf often does things that bothers me or drive me absolutely bonkers. I'm sure I do the same to him. But we talk it over when we're both calm, tell each other what bothered us and why, and we understand each other.

Sometimes I get repeat performances of things that I don't like, and other times it's just a matter of letting him know about something he wasn't aware of. What's important to me is that when I tell him he cares about how I feel. That's enough for me to let it go when it happens again.

Good luck!

Answer 6

You embarrass him in public so maybe you need to read a book or two and brush up on current affairs.

or

He feels in competition with you because you bring him down all the time so he is overly enthusiastic to a/ be seen as just as worthy as you or

b/ trying in a very sweet way to gain your affection by being first to answer

or

c/ He is being protective.

In any event none of it is his fault and it may be your fault (singular) or your fault (plural) or his parents' fault.

'

Either way why can't you discuss it? It's a relatively minor issue and if you can't discuss this then what future is there in your relationship - you're gonna have way bigger issues to deal with if you stay together.

Answer 7

Reading what chuckup wrote made me want to upchuck.   You articulated your concerns very well and I don't think they are small.  I think you should discuss it with him.   If it continues after discussion then you may have a problem.  Lack of communication is a major factor in break-ups.

Answer 8

Talk to him about it and tell him how it makes you feel. He may genuinely not realise what he's doing or that it's upsetting you. If he carries on though, then it does suggest that he doesn't like you to express your opinions or isn't interested in your needs, in which case you may need to re-think the relationship. Good luck!

Answer 9

It is wrong to cut you off and interupt your conversations, however if you are one of those people who are constintly putting her foot in her mouth or making an idiot of your self he might be trying to intercept and save you from embarassment.  

Answer 10

It's a sign that the two of you are not communicating about an issue that obviously is bothering you.  In all likelihood he does not even realize he is doing this.

Answer 11

First do a experiment.  Without him knowing what you are doing go out with him around his friends, family and associates.  Watch to see if he does this.  Especially if you have an opportunity to observe his behavior around other similar aged females.  Be where he can not observe your body language so you can't give away what you are doing.  If he is like this with everyone, you have learned something.  If he is never like this with anyone else, you have learned something.  If he always corrects, demeans, or belittle women you learn something else.