My boyfriend doesnt want kids?

Question

I am 23 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. I love him a lot, but everytime I mention getting married or having kids we always fight or get upset with eachother. All I've really ever wanted was to be a stay at home mother and wife. Unfortunately, my boyfriend does not have an education and would not be able to support that lifestyle. He also isn't even sure he wants to get married or have kids. He tells me that maybe eventually he'll have them in 10 years to "make me happy". But I dont want it to be like that. He tells me that marriage is just a "stupid ritual"

I always thought I would have started a family by now. I dated someone from age 15-20 and my current bf from 21-23. I shouldnt have let the first one go and I still regret it. I'm afraid that i will regret this decision too which is why i'm hesitant to end the relationship. i still love him and I dont know what to do.

Answer 1

I have been with my partner for nearly 10 years, i turn 30 in December and he ALWAYS said he didnt want kids and knew full well that i did, we now have a beautiful 10 month old that he loves more than life itself so i wouldnt worry to much you are still young. BUT saying that if you are still inlove with someone else you really shouldnt be thinking about having a child to your current boy friend that would be a very silly decision in my opinion....good luck hope everything turns out for you:)

Answer 2

you guys have completely different lives in mind. you should be looking for someone that wants a family, and he probably shouldn't even be in a committed relationship.

you need to leave him now if you ever want a family.

Answer 3

you and your guy are on opposite ends here, it's best to find a guy who will want to get married and have kids and who will do it becasue he wants to and not just to make you happy, and also who can support the lifestyle you want.

Answer 4

yikes I would leave him before you waste anymore of your life with him and find a man who shares the same desires as you. You won't change him that's for sure.

Answer 5

Are you really sure the guy your with now is the one?  You said it yourself i shouldn't have let the first one go and still regret it.  When you love someone you never regret being with them.  This tells me that i think you are settling and you really need to look deeper at what you want and he wants.  If you really loved him you wouldn't regret leaving your ex.  You to want different things in life and you cant force him to get married and have a family.  I say its time to move on!

Answer 6

you and ur boyfriend want different things in life. if u want to have kids and he doesn't maybe you guys aren't right for each other

Answer 7

You need to get a life and kick this guy to the curb. He wants something totall different from what you want in life. So, stop trying to change him and leave him with a woman who doesn't want marriage and kids until ten years down the road to make her happy.

You're selling yourself short, Cake. Stop doing that. Seems like you want to change people that cannot be changed. You cannot change anyone. You can only control what YOU do in life. So, take the bull by the horns and leave this guy in the dust.

He's too young, anyways, to get married and have kids. What about what HE wants? Doesn't that matter to you? Tell him that you respect his decision and do the right thing by the both of you and break up and move on.....

You owe it to the both of you. Quit living in a fantasy world. Just move on...

Answer 8

Neither one of you is wrong.....and you're both entitled to the kind of life you want.

It's time to stop now and move on.

Answer 9

If he doesn't want kids, then you can't expect him to change for you. I guess you're going to have to cut loose with him.

Now I'm childfree, and I tend to stay away from childed women.

Answer 10

Someone who has no formal education can in no way ever support you or your dreams.

And he obviously isn't motivated enough to become anything more than what he is now. So if you want the same life that you have right now with him, then stay. But you can fall in love again, with someone who shares your same dreams just as easily as you did with him.

I know it's hard to leave a relationship with someone who you love, but sometimes it's just something you have to do.

And there's no point in regretting the past, because at one point it was everything you ever wanted. You have to accept the fact that you did let your past relationship go, and now only look forward to the new and happy life you could let yourself have.

There's a pretty solid line between wanting and not wanting kids, and there's pretty much no really changing that.

And let me tell you from experience, in ten years, he'll want to wait another year, and another year.

Until you've wasted all of your life.

Do you yourself a favor and make yourself happy.

Answer 11

hey please ask him ( do u love me?) and look into his eyes.

if he is looking down and aswer yes , he is not  ur boyfriend ok, if something like this happened to me , i left the girl from the first time , and find a one who loves me and respect me.

and still u can find the perfect guy for you,dont worry he is not the last guy in the world ok

Answer 12

if you still regret losing your first boyfriend, you obviously arent happy with the one you are with now or else the first one wouldnt even cross your mind.

If your boyfriend is the same age as you, I'm not suprised he doesnt want/feel ready for children yet, the 10 year plan is probably part of him subconciously wanting to establish himself successfully before bringing children into the world.

You may feel that you really want kids now, but just make sure that you are having them for the right reasons, with a partner you want to be with forever, not just with some one who wants kids NOW as eagerly as you do.

Good Luck =]

Answer 13

from my experience I am telling. If you want kids and he doesn't then it is time to break up. There are men out there that do

Answer 14

Everything you want in life, your boyfriend does not.  Why on earth would you want to continue on in this relationship?  If you truly love this boyfriend, you would not regret the other boyfriend you let go.  Its a HUGE thing to not agree on marriage or kids.  Let him go.  You are young and there are millions of men out there that will want the same thing as you in life.

GOod luck!!

Answer 15

He wants one life, you want another.  Now is the time to decide what's more important to you - being a wife and mother, or being with your current boyfriend.  Chances are he's not going to change his mind, and I certainly wouldn't want to marry or have children with someone who was just doing it to make me happy.  If you truly want nothing more than to be a wife and mother, break up with your boyfriend and find someone who shares your dreams.  Good luck.

Answer 16

The best advice I can give you is to listen to your heart.....

Go with your gut feeling.  It wont let you down.  

If he does decide he wants children, then you guys should be married first.....

If you have regrets about letting your first long-term relationship end, then maybe you're really not happy with your current relationship and you need to do some serious thinking before ever making a dicision like getting married to this guy.  I'm 23 years old and I've been married for 4 years and we have a 2 year old daughter.....I'm very blessed.  Put GOD first and listen to your heart.  GOD will guide you to do the right thing.  Marriage and children will change your life....and remember you want it to be a good change, not something you're going to regret.  If this guy really loves you then something will work out for yall.  

GOD bless you.....