My boyfriend gets angry easily and i am tired of this attitude of his

Question

I have been together with my boyfriend the past 4 and a half months.. His parents love me very much.. but lately my boyfriend has changed... he quit his high paying job to study.. but after quitting he decided not to study and wanted to go work again.. now he has found a new job that pays much lesser than his previous job.. and he is not happy with it at all.. when i told him that he coould return back to his old job he didnt want to.. and now he hates his new job because the pay is less. I felt that his current job even though does not pay that much when compared to his last job, the pay is good enough since he does not have much education.. So when i pin pointed to him that he does not have a proper certficate but yet his pay is quite good when compared to others, he got so angry and started scolding me vulgarities and slammed the phone on me... I called him back to explain but he kept scolding me and when i explained, he said i was acting to be nice and i thought very low about him since i have a degree.. I know that i probably didnt say it the right way but i already explained to him in what way i meant it.. but he still kept making it into a big issue and said that maybe i should be with someone who is as educated as me.. then when i asked if he was asking for a break up, he actually said that he knew that i am waiting for us to break up.. When i told him that i love him, he said that he could not believe that i can still say i love you after all this...I am so tired of his attitude nowadays... i have tried talking to him but somehow he pushes the blame to me.. he says i get angry for the slightest reasons.. but i know that i have controlled me temper alot recently and even when he scolds me vulgarities whenever we argue, i still call him back and try to settle things.. i know he is very stressed with things but why get mad with me all the time? When i ask him what problems does he have, he says its nothing.. then how am i suppose to know? Sometimes he is very sweet but its only for 2-3 days and after that its back to us arguing for every small thing.. i dont know what to do.. i love him alot but at the same time i dont feel happy in this relationship.. i dont feel his love like i used to last time.. What do i do?

Answer 1

This guy sounds like an a*rehole,he's obviously got some anger management issues,give him a wide berth and look for someone more compatible.good luck,MB.

Answer 2

He is being verbally abusive to you. Try to make him understand how you feel. If he doesn't listen or if he still disrespects you, then break up with him.

Answer 3

Love- a word so simple though it isn't !

Its been just 4 months dear, u understand a relation by being into it and thus it takes to know each other well.... Now, the main problem seems with ur bf, i mean he is in tension!!! r u sure of his pasts? do u know how he is always?> Do u know d reason why he didnt go for studying?

He left his job in  d thought that he wud study more, but wat made him to leave d studies? did u calmy and wisely try to know dat?

He is streesed!, seemingly, coz he mus b thinking how good job he had and now coz of his mistake he has lost it! and doing d less payed job! seems, u r more educated than him and dats y alas he feels down!, and angrily or out of tension said u dat go to more educated like u!

He hates his new job, he is feeling down, he is feeling inferior from others, people are more educated around him , mainly his close part -U, then he had a nice job which he left and now he is in a less one  is making him feel inferior!-he needs to consult a counsellor to get things calmly fine! or someone who he wud listen to calmy or even u can, just spend a time by taking him sumwer and ask him and talk abt it, if he gets much hyper then better leave d topic and change to sumthing else! don make him feel lost from u as well, Let him know u r der even if he is sad!

I think he loves u but he is not able to decide things coz of watall happened, he mus b having much plans which he doesnt seem can b accomplished and wat he had has he also lost quiet much!

That's y when u argued and reached to say him dat he wanted break up, he said u dat u wanted, coz he disnt wanted such way and didn expect that things wud go rong so much, dats y he put on u as he didn speak abt that!

Give him some time, and as noe he is much stressed, dont force him abt those things, try to do lovably and if he dooesnt wishes to talk abt it, let him discuss alone if he wishes but u r der for every help and change d topic.

He shouts at u , he loves u, he argues with u, all he does is with u coz he luves u and u r his close mate and dats y everything is with u!- we argue or fight with only dose ppl, whom we luv more!

If u knw d reason y he left his educated and got back to wrk, and if that a simply reason, then mayb u deserve sum1 better as others said! mayb he is with sum1 else, mayb thers sum other matter, may b he is not much interested like b4 coz its only been 4 months but i think he is stressed and u shudn't insist him too much while he is otherwise he gets hyper coz u accelerate his thoughts! his inferirorities. Put urself in his condition and all that will u understand!!!

All d best buddy!

Answer 4

im almost in the same boat as you. My botfriend just has a bad temper period. And maybe you feel as i do? That you just cant talk to him about anything anymore for fear of his anger. And in a relationship i dont think its healthy for one person to fear another so i say. Keep on going and say whats on your mind because sure he'll get angry but at least theres some communication there...And its unhealthy to keep all those things hidden away... which unfortunately is what i am doing... good luck.

Answer 5

Yeesh! Who needs that? Sounds as if he needs to grow up. Give him room to do so my dumping the twit.

You deserve better.  

Answer 6

I would definatley tell him how you feel how he is acting towards you and if it does't change or help your relationship work out I would just let him go and figure out what he needs to work out to make hisself be a better , respectful person in the long run in the next relationship he gets into .  

Answer 7

This doesn't sound like something that is going to change. He sounds emotionally unbalanced. Being 'stressed' is no reason to treat someone badly. He shouldn't be dumping on you like this. His job is not your problem so why is he making it so? Especially if he is scolding you, nobody needs this! You are not a kid and neither is he! There is not much you can do besides:

1) Be hurt and mad at him all the time and wonder why he keeps hurting you when he claims to love you.

2) Let him go. This might hurt for a while but you are probably saving yourself more hurt in the long run.

Keep in mind there are millions of men in this world who will appreciate you. It doesn't sound like this guy does. Maybe it's time to find yourself a better man, sweetie. You probably won't have to look far!  

Answer 8

Tell him how you feel. Im sure he'll understand. If he doesn't then you guys weren't ment to be. Everything happens for a reason.

Answer 9

He is taking it for granted!

Please think twice to carry on for this kind of relationship.  A man that cannot go through hardship being together will affect your entire life.  It can only get worst if relationship goes on.  Ending it fast and be healed and be a new person.

Answer 10

Your situation sounds very similar to my son and his girlfriend.  Of course I did not know the full story of what was happening between them, but what I did find out was that he started to use pot and his personality changed so much (and it was for the worst).  He treated his girlfriend in an unforgiveable manner and it was because he was using pot.  You need to take a deeper look into why he is acting like this because I fear that it is just not what you are saying.  Could it be that he interested in another girl?  Could it be that he is a little older than you at this point and wants an older girl?  If it is just the things you have outlined then I think that you should give him some space, because the more you keep trying to make up with him the worse it will become.  He is starting to bully you and you are letting him.  Let him be and see what happens, I think you will be surprised.  Good luck.

Answer 11

You shouldn't stand to take that. Make sure he knows how you feel about how his attitude and behavior is. If he acts like he can't understand cope with how you want to change, than leave.

No male or female should have to go through something such as this. Its ridiculous.