My boyfriend had an affair with a 21 yr. old he was 47 then, I feel hate every time something reminded of it?

Question

My question is that is it normal to feel that way He said he just want to be honest that was why he told me his past relationships. But it didn't do good for me to learn that he had an affair with a very young woman who was even younger than his daughter. I want to give up him, but I cant. How can I get rid of this hate feeling towards my boyfriend. We are already living together but not married yet. We are already having our wedding plan next year.

Answer 1

why are you age jealous?

Answer 2

Why are you shacking with a guy without knowing all these things about him first?

It isn't that you CAN'T give him up, it is  that you do not WANT to give him up.

You either believe he has changed and realizes what he did was wrong and won't do it again, OR there are warning signs that he WILL do it again and you wish to remain blind to them because then you will have to decide whether to ignore it or stay.

It sounds like you are afraid no one else will want you,but if he is attracted to you, so will other men be.

Or do you believe you do not deserve a better man?

A guy who will shack a woman probably won't marry her.Not saying he won't marry you,but the thing is,say he dumped you and a hot guy 20 yrs younger than you came on to you that you wouldn't at least consider it?Chances are you would.The girl was 21 not 12.She was an adult,although maybe not mature,but it seems like he likes "weak women" he can control easily.You seem to fit that description so far by your statement of "I  CAN'T give him up".

Next if this was BEFORE he met you, then it is none of your business and has no bearing on here and now unless he is currently a cheater.You have no right to be upset.I'd say you are afraid he will dump you for someone younger and prettier and if you REALLY believe that,and it sounds like you do, then you need to move out and live on your own.Better to be alone than in a bad relationship.Esecially if your going to be jealous allthe time,because then he will end up divorcing you.No one likes to be harrased constantly by a jealous spouse.

Answer 3

If he had the affair while you two were together, then I suggest counseling to help you get past it. That is not something you want to go into marriage together knowing, with you having your current feelings about it.

If it was prior to you two being together, it doesn't matter and you are making an issue of nothing. Before he was with you, he had the right to be with anyone of legal age, as did you.