My boyfriend has anger issues...

Question

My boyfriend is 3yrs & some months older than I am and we've only been tgether 6months.

However, not until this last month or so has his anger issues become a problem. He stopped trusting me about 3 months ago when I gave one of my best guy friends a ride to go see his girlfriend, my boyfriend wouldn't pick up his phone so I just sent him a text telling him what I was doing. That led into an argument that lasted 8hrs because he kept asking why I picked up the phone when he called (he made me delete every male number in my phone). 2 months ago my boyfriend turned 21 & has been drinking every night since then and sometimes he can be the most caring person but one wrong word or if he takes something the wrong way it will set him off.

Within the last month, he has begun to get physical, shoving me, slapping me, pulling me by my hair and once grabbed me by the throat. I tried to get him to go to anger management even offered to pay for it but he wouldn't do it.

I don't know what to do, I don't want to break things off with him because he is the only person that has made me realize my flaws & was the only one that was hard on me when I was messing up.

But I'm honestly scared of him...

Answer 1

You have two issues:

First, you need to emotionally break up with this guy. This guy has tons of underlying emotional issues that he needs to deal with before he has a relationship with anyone. His drinking, anger, jealousy are all just the tip of the iceberg. he needs to deal with his own inner demons and possibly get therapy before it gets better. If you try to stay with him, it will only get worse. He will convince himself that the problem is you (its always easier to point the finger at someone else than to see your own faults) and he will direct more and more of his emotional problems at you! The only way he would possibly accept the fact that it is his fault is if you break up with him. If you stay with him, then he is going to justify that there is nothing wrong with him becuase you haven't broken up with him.

You need to accept the fact in your heart that this guy is not for you and that there are plently more out there.

Second, you need to end the relationship with him. This is easier said than done when someone might be violent. You know him better than anyone- but this might involve calling the police on him, moving somewhere else, changing all your phone numbers, whatever you think is needed to stay safe. Remember that this guy has already committed several felonies against you and if you have proof or witnesses a quick trip to jail for him is only a phone call away.

No matter the inconvience to you it will be worth it. Guys like this are able to convice girls that they want to get better and that they are sorry and they didn't mean it - don't believe it for one second. He is not going to face reality or have any intention of changing his ways as long as you are still with him.

Get as far from this guy as possible. He does NOT love you. He might love having someone around that he can take out his problems on, he might love being able to treat you like trash and still have you around, but he most certainly does not love YOU.

Answer 2

Statistics show that your chance of getting out alive from this relationship is very poor.  In fact, it is almost textbook.

Men (and I use this term loosely) like this prey on women with poor self asteem because them themselves have had poor role models and have learned incorrectly how to treat others.

Take it from someone who did make it out alive, and after years of abuse, broken bones, lost time from work, hospital fees, attorney's fees and a messy divorce that if you really care about yourself, you will walk away.

I truly hope you're not joking about this; I cannot stress enough to get away from this guy.  I can guarantee that it will get worse.

And me, if anyone attempts to treat me poorly, they will never see me again.  And god help anyone that ever lays a hand on me or someone I love.

Answer 3

Run don't walk away from this unhealthy relationship

Answer 4

please don't become a statistic. Get away from him while you still can, if he freaks out get the police involved. Do not marry him, Do not get knocked up by him or you will forever be stuck with him. Please save yourself. The is a abusive relationship and you need to get out now.

NO WOMAN CAN CHANGE A MAN AND YOU ARE VERY FOOLISH IF YOU THINK YOU CAN.

Answer 5

GET OUT..IT'S GONNA GET WORSE TRUST ME...THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO ME...AND I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE HIM AND I DIDN'T.... I STAYED FOR 7 YEARS...THAT WAS THE WORST DECISION I EVER MAKE IN MY LIFE..IT GOT WORST AND WORST

AND NOW IT'S BEEN 9 MONTHS SINCE WE BEEN APART... AND I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER...DON'T LET HIM DO THAT TO YOU...THAT'S NOT LOVE.......

Answer 6

Don't try to fix him.  Just get away NOW.  If he lays a hand on you again call the cops and press charges.

Answer 7

DUMP HIM!!!

If your scared of him than sorry hun your relationship ended along time ago. Yo0u shouldn't be scared of your boyfriend and he physically hurt you too. MAN HE HAS ISSUES!!!

Well yes dump his booty and find someone else  

Answer 8

so let me get this straight, you'd rather continue to get an *** whipping from him, just b/c he was the only one to show u ur flaws, and was hard on you while messing up, does that make any sense hun, u love the *** whipping that u keep getting from this punk, well if u want to continue to be his B****h then stay w/him, when he sends u to the hospital by the amt of whippings you're gonna get from him, then you'll know, GL to you.

Answer 9

You are being manipulated and controlled by fear through someone else's alcoholic outbursts of anger. He's very and I mean VERY possessive. So what's next.? You'll become his punching bag? All this over giving another friend a ride home and not answering your phone.? And you are ok with this? I'd blow out of town so fast there would be a puff of smoke behind me, unless you like the abuse. See what happens when you get seriously involved with someone and then through in a little alcohol? You are his possession and he feels he can treat you anyway he sees fit. Ya, he help you out....GREAT....SO....NOW you have to pay it back with abuse? NO! He doesn't want to get help then next time call the police. Or move. You do not deserve this. Anger is a choice and NO ONE can MAKE you get mad....YOU choose to get mad.