My boyfriend has lived with me for a year, held a few jobs here and there, AND HAS HARDLY CONTRIBUTED?

Question

to any bills. I am currently sick (head cold and pinkeye). he asked if i wanted him to pick up my son (we have 4 children) again, and i said yes. due to the pinkeye, i have no physical contact with the children. he rolled his eys and shook his head. hes always complaining about everything i ask him to do. picking up children, the house, a few errands here and there. i am so frustrated and blew up on him. he feels that he contributes plenty to the househould and that whenever i tell him that i cant think of him as a man, he blows up on me, stomps around the house and aks why im being such a b*tch. am i missing something here? i told him that any other woman wouldve left him long ago. i have stayed due to the fact that i do care for him, and have been waiting for him to maintain a job as he said he will

Answer 1

he probably doesnt think your a *****. he probably is feeling like **** for letting you and the kids down, and if he doesnt then hes a peice of ****.. but for sure your in the right. he does need to step up and start acting like a man and take care of his family.

Answer 2

kick him out he is never going to change at this age they never do.

Answer 3

If a BF cannot contribute to the household costs...then maybe it is time for him to quit freeloading and MOVE ON...kick him out.

Answer 4

He is a HUMAN SPONGE!

He is a USER!

He will NOT CHANGE!

Answer 5

This is what he is and what he will be 'til death do you part.Insulting him and telling him you cannot think of him as a man is NOT going to make him change.

THAT just burns his biscuits hon.

Next YOU HAVE CHOSE to STAY WITH THIS LOSER!

Your sons  are learning:

You can shack up with a woman and not work and get s*x with NO strings attached!

Your girls are learning:

"The ONLY way to be loved and wanted is to be some guys s*x toy and to work and support him while he treats you and your kids like c**p."

THIS is what YOU......YES YOU are drilling into their heads this day and have been the last yr. or so.

You OBVIOUSLY do NOT know how to pick a decent man.

Here is a tip, boot the free loader OUT yesterday and do NOT look back.YOUR KIDS,NOT your pathetic love life is your FIRST priority.

Next guy you date, see if he has his OWN place to live, a job a car and stands on his own 2 feet.Date a year or so,no s*x,no shacking and you will see what kind of man he is.If it is someone you have to bail out, or fix up,toss it to the curb.

Get into church and you'll find a better class of men there.

This guy has it made.He gets s*x, doesn't have to work,why would he WANT to change?

Why would he even bother to marry you?

Why buy the cow when  it is giving FREE MILK?AND supporting your worthless @ too?

Last, he owes you NOTHING.He is NOT your husband but your shack up stud,nothing more.

Think about it and get back to me.I'll be here all week!

Answer 6

Mine too!!!  I tried kicking him to the curb over the weekend...and he begged that he didn't want to break-up...he'll be better...he'll get a job to take the stresses off me...B.S!!!!  H*ell no, he doesn't want to break-up cause he's got it pretty d**n good!!!  He really has nothing to offer me or the relationship at this point.  I cared about him but I am at the end of the rope with him!!!

He asked me to give him a week...and its been a LOOOOONGGGG week!!!!  

Answer 7

There is a reason why other women would have left him by now.  

Answer 8

Wowie Kazowie, this IS a pickle!!!

If this guy is as obtuse as you've described, I'd get a 3rd party involved.  It should be a man he respects i.e. pastor, counselor, father figure, and have that man talk turkey with him.

I don't know if he professes any faith, but the Bible says a  man who won't provide for his family is worse than an infidel.  Pretty plain language.  He needs to be confronted with this hard truth.

In addition, I would suggest you determine what your expectations are in this relationship and convey that to him in as nonconfrontational a way as you can.  He may have been raised where it was OK for a man to sponge off a woman, so he needs to have a paradigm shift.

You want him to listen to you, so try to be as un-emo as you can be.  Men typically are more analytical than women, so try to be brief and to the point.

I wish you well.

Answer 9

You are right that no self-respecting woman would stay with him this long, so what does it say about a woman who does? My take: she has no self-respect, no sense of self-worth, no confidence; she is desperate; she will settle for ANYONE rather than being on her own. This is the perfect kind of woman for him to take advantage of - so, he is! He is taking advantage of you, and you don't have a spine to just leave him. Sorry, but you have dug your own grave, and every day you continue to dig it deeper. If you don't stand up and demand respect, there is a good chance that it will not be given to you. Why does it surprise you that he doesn't respect you when you, yourself, don't seem to respect yourself enough? He only does what he can get away with, and apparently he can get away with a lot; tell me - WHY would he make an effort when he has all that he needs without any effort at all? Think about it. Why work, when someone else will support you? Why take care of the kids when someone else will do it for you? All he has to do in exchange is endure a fight or two and call you a b**ch a few times. Yes, you are missing something - it seems to me to be your self-confidence and self-respect.

Answer 10

BOYFRIEND ?? why contrubite ??? he has it made, sit around the house, has a cook, maid, income from you, s*x,, all without any commitment,,,,,,,,