My boyfriend is a conductor on the railroad. Is he having an affair with his engineer?

Question

He spends 12 hours on a train in a space about as big as a small closet with an engineer, then when he gets home, and we go out somewhere, he talks with him on the phone. Why? Isn't 12 hours in the cozy space of a train engine enough?

Answer 1

This is your, "Beau", your talking about......You know, it just sounds like their "Tight", becuase they spend so much time together,, you know..They probably are conditioned too telling one another everything, because, they get so lonely, their all they have, when their on the road, you know...So, thier just picking-up, where they left off, when off the clock.....I wouldn't worry, until, your "s*x" life starts "Lacking Attention", then I'd be concerned....Otherwise, their just really "Tight-Buds", I wouldn't be too alarmed by  that......My first boyfriend, was "Inseperable" with all his friends......But, I would just , "jump, in there conversations, and try to be like one of the guys", and one of his friends, became my "Best-Friends", after, and during our being together....He even blaimed me, for my, "Our" best friends" death, when I was in a whole nother' state, at that time...because, our friend got involved with "Drugs" and my ex-boyfriend knew how "Tight" we were, and got mad at me, for not getting him, help.......I had to tell him, he wouldn't have listened to me, even if I had......I ended-up, knowing him that much better than my ex-Beau, did.......So, just jump-in, there, and become friends with him, too.... You might find out its all worrying for nothing....Guys will be Guys, you know. Smile!!! Its all good, trust me,on this one....

Answer 2

Well, if he is having an affair with his engineer, good luck to them but I hope it isn't in the company's time - shouldn't somebody be actually driving the train?

Anyway I think the fact that he comes home to you is quite a big clue here. He spends 12 hours a day with this other guy because it's their job and they both have to, whereas he spends the other 12 hours with you because he wants to. Smile and don't be so suspicious.

Answer 3

Ask him. Can't hurt. He will either say yes or no. If he says no then leave it at that. If he says yes -- well maybe you need to consider getting a new boyfriend.

Answer 4

I think you are reading too much into this.  My Dad thought it strange that I hung around with my brother almost that much and it's been going on for 55 years.  I don't know much about g*y people but I think they fight more than straight couples so you would be able to tell.

Answer 5

Hey now....  I am a conductor on pool freight and I do the same thing as your husband! Yes, he should spend a little more time with you... But at the same time you became good friends with a lot of people on the railroad. 12 hours on the job, all the time talking about everything in the world, including you! You ask why he talks more, after spending 12 hrs at work? Well, all of these people are his friends, the railroad never stops, and most important is you bond with them! When your life depends on someone else and they depend on you to keep the alive too. Its just like talking to your brother or sister! You just have a whole lot of them...

Answer 6

well..does it seem like your boyfriend is g*y?  i would wonder too..if i were with someone for that long..i wouldn't see any reason to talk with them on the phone while with my bf/gf.  Maybe they are just really close friends?  Have they known each other a long time?

Answer 7

yes i think

Answer 8

One doesn't have to be g*y to have an affair with an engineer, as there are many female engineers around.

Some of the closest friendships to be found are amongst the brethren of any type.  Armed forces, ship mates, railroaders, etc.  I wouldn't be too concerned.  But, what is he doing when laying over out of town?

Addendum:  Happydawg, I completely understand six day a week, 12 hour per day local freight, having way too many under my belt as well.  But, you must admit, it sure looks good on pay day.  We all do it, to the best of our ability, to take care of those we love and to perform vital services that all of America benefits from.

Working a local with a regular crew certainly increases the familiarity amongst the crew members.  How about a compromise?  When out and about, dinner, movies, etc., the cell phone stays at home, ar at least in the car's trunk.

There is one phenomenon you are up against.  If you give two rails a way to communicate, they are going to talk railroad.  Don't understand it myself, but it is a fact.

I know railroad life is tough on home life in and of itself but your man should leave it behind once it a while. If all else fails tell him to BID OFF!

But you were joking about the affair, weren't you?

Answer 9

No.  Close proximity usually means you either get along or kill each other.  The engineer is no threat to you, but that green-eyed monster that makes you ask such a question may be why your husband prefers to talk to his friend.  Lighten up and don't let your imagination cause such doubts.  Give your husband more credit than that or you will be on the last train to Divorceville.

Answer 10

Use your instincts ,if it walks like a duck...........

Answer 11

being in a closet sized area for 12 hours a day can make a pretty good friendship don't you think?  also are things at home being taken care of at home enough to make him look elsewhere???

if you are confident that you are doing your part then you have nothing to worry about.

Answer 12

Ever thought they just might be friends...?.When operating a train you don't just set the cruise control and forget it, there are many things must be  done...road signals to watch, speed orders to keep up with.etc....I think if there was anything going on he would be a little more discreet... you been watching too many limpback mountain movies...