My boyfriend is financially irresponsible and we have a baby on the way. Whats the best way to confront him?

Question

I want to confront him in a way that he will listen and understand how his finances are going to affect our growing family. He already has $16,000 in student loans and 30,000 in a car payment that is only worth $18,000. Now he is putting even more into his car and wants to buy things like a $600 exhaust for it because his friends convince him to get it. I try and tell them that he now has responsibilities with a baby on the way that they don't consider. His spending is out of control and I don't know how to talk to him without him getting upset.

Answer 1

Plan on working, if the thought of fatherhood hasn't straightened him out, confronting him won't help.  Whatever you do, don't marry him...it won't get better.  Make sure you put his name on the birth certificate.  That way you CAN force him to pay child support.

Answer 2

Sounds like the boyfriend should have stayed just that a boyfriend not a dad to be. He is still growing up himself. Change will be hard for someone who is still trying to find themselves. I would sit him down and give him the we both created this baby and we both need to take care of it. If that don't work look at finding a new boyfriend. You don't need to just think of yourself now you have a baby to think of for the next 18 plus years.  

Answer 3

Talk to him head on.  Lay out a basic budget and tell him that you and the baby has to come before the car.

edit:  Head's up - the link that the first guy has is some sort of work-from-home moneymaking scheme...

Answer 4

He sounds like a teeny bopper to me.  They make the worst fathers because they are still kids themselves.  Even if he's early 20's, it's the same.  Men mature at a much slower rate then women.  Imagine someone who thinks more about his car or what his friends say than the mother of his coming child or the baby itself.  Your in for a hard road if you marry someone like that.  I would lay down the law, insist to handle his money and the budget and see how he reacts.  If he is not ready to put his family first and live off a budget.  Not think of himself over everyone else, than I would not stay with him.  Your better off waiting and finding a responsible, mature man with a good stable income and lots of unselfish love to give.  I put my family FIRST!  I do not spend money foolishly or unwisely.  We have a budget and live off it, me and my wife have a 3 year old daughter.  I don't even buy anything major without my wife's blessing and without it making sense.    

Answer 5

Get rid of the boyfriend!!! Sounds WAY too immature for fatherhood - you don't want to end up with two babies!