My boyfriend is in a rut- how can I help?

Question

My boyfriend seems upset- he was crying over the phone yesterday. I want to help him, but I don't know how. He'll talk about it if I ask him to, but he says it doesn't help. He also doesn't seem quite sure what it is he's upset about. He blew up at me about something and then apologised later because he said it wasn't about me, it's that he's "seriously messed up". I hate to see him so upset and I want to help him figure out what's wrong, but I'm afraid to make things worse. I'm also wondering if this could be a side-effect of withdrawal--he recently quit cigarettes and weed, which I know has been really tough on him.

Any thoughts?

Answer 1

In order to figure out what is bothering him he will have to feel that talking about it will help him in the long run.  A good face to face conversation may help him and if you let him know that you wont talk about it with someone else, perhaps that might help.  Hopefully it is nothing serious.

Answer 2

well u sed that tokin 2 him won't help, mabi ... i think u should just give him some space 4 a while. he's just a little stressed, ok mabi alot, but mabi if u help him out on work or give him abit of space n try 2 get pple stop asking him 2 do things, it might help. u could also tell him there is nothin 2 b sad about, he has a great family, a great girfriend hoo cares about u (which is u) n just remind him about all the good stuff. he might cheer up abit hoo knows.

Answer 3

um how bout just let him b he'll pull himself out of it eventually ull only mke things worse if u push him just give him some space  

Answer 4

He is going through withdrawl and he needs your love.   I am a recovered alcoholic and you are a super lady for being understanding.  Get him some sugar free candies.  It helped me.  My husband was there for me and I give him so much credit helping me help myself.  Sounds like he is quitting because he wants a real relationship with you.  Talk to people with Al-Anon because they are good people like you.  I hope this helps and God bless you both.   Sept 1 is my 12 year birthday of being free of drugs and alcohol.  It is 1 day at a time.  

Answer 5

talk to him. its the best way.