My boyfriend is leaving for basic training next week...

Question

What should I expect from this Army life? I will marry him when he returns, I will stay and get my bachelor's degree in Technical Communication (I graduate May of 2009)... but will I have to move around a lot, what will my life look like in the next year?

Please share your experiences...

THANK YOU

Answer 1

I can never figure out why so many military haters hang out in the military section.....

If you know for a fact that you are marrying him then you should marry him BEFORE he ships out, even if it is a quick courtroom ceremony, and do a proper ceremony after training if you wish.  If not, he will loose out on BAH and separation pay he could get for being married.  Click the link below and enter your ZIP code for the rate for your town and that is what he will get extra per month while he is in basic for being married to you.  He will also receive $250 a month after 30 days.

After he finishes training he will go to a permanent duty station for an average of three years and will most likely deploy sometime during that period.  He could also end up going overseas to Germany or Korea.  You have a choice of either going with him (unless it is to the Middle East or certain parts of Korea) or staying where you are.  Your life probably won't change too much, you just have a lot of military jargon to get used to.  You will most likely have a strong FRG at your future husband's first unit to help get you ready for military life.

If you don't marry him before he ships then he cannot get base housing or BAH until you and him marry.  He will be forced to live in the barracks until he shows a marriage certificate and you will be ineligible for Tricare, DEERS enrollment, and PX/Commissary privileges.  If you marry him now and there is a base close to where you live then you can take advantage of these things the day he ships off to basic, you won't have to wait until he finishes training.  Even if there isn't a base close by you can still use Tricare at any medical facility that accepts it.

EDIT: If you want experience I can tell you what I had:  I got married before my second tour in Iraq, my wife and I talked and e-mailed each other almost every day, and after I returned we got back together and enjoyed our time together until my third tour.  She got a job and and she is going to school at the same time to better herself.  If you plan to stay where you are to get your degree and he marries you his BAH will change to the rate of his first duty station unless he goes to an overseas base like Germany or Korea (not Iraq or Afghanistan).  He will still have to move out of the barracks even if you aren't there and he will have to get an apartment in addition to sending you money.  You will have to occasionly deal with gossip and rumors while at the base.  You will hear rumors about who's cheating on who back at home while he will hear some of the same rumors while deployed.  It is different than being married to a civilian but it only requires a few adjustments.

Answer 2

My dad's been in the Army for 22 years now. I am now 24. Yes, definitely expect to move around a lot. You could get lucky and end up staying at one assignment for 8 or more years if he keeps re-enlisting there. But you could have bad luck and get sent from assignment to assignment every 2 to 3 years or more. The Army puts you where they need you. At least now that your guy is joining the Iraq thing is slowly starting to die down. My dad is on his second tour there now. And if your guy is new exoect a lot of duties at first, CQ, staff duty. They get the new, low-rank guys to do a lot of the running. He will have to prove himself at his unit to get respect. What is his MOS? And you know after Basic Training he will have to go to AIT, right? The length of AIT depends on his MOS, could be anywhere from 6 weeks to a year.

Answer 3

Get a new boyfreind...and dont marry him

Answer 4

you will meet someone new at uni and forget all about him  

Answer 5

first of all im the boyfriend. while i go to the army and see the world. i will marry her not cheat and only be there for her. anyways she asked wat to expect not wat to do!!!! baby i love you and will only think bout you there to drive me to make it...

Answer 6

THIS WILL BE THE HARDEST THING U GO THROUGH...being an army wife is not easy at all...i hope u can handle long distant relationships..my husband has been to iraq 2 times and he is also there right now...i have made many friends in the last 4 years...but also have lost my friends in the war...make sure u want this and marry him before he delpoys...for the BAH...and beacuse if he doesnt come back home to u...u will atleast have his last name and ur marrige to look back on...my husband has had 2 surgies in the because of the army...and now he has high blood pressure because of stress...do not let yall family get in the way because i promise u it will happen...make sure ur prepared to her the stories from iraq about him seeing his friends burn to death and hearing them srceem for their life...being a army wife come with patience and courage...if u need some one to talk to i am here for u hunny...hope yall the best

With hope, devoted army wife

Answer 7

lt will probly suck.

Answer 8

It will be tough, but you will survive!  The hardest part for some reason is basic training.  Iraq is difficult too, but for some reason basic seems to take the longest!! BUT with you finishing school it should keep your ind off of it. Most likely for the next 6 months he will be in the same place, with his different trainings, so you will be able to get most of your schooling done at the same place. You may have to finish the remainder online.

Answer 9

You can't have the career you want and the life of an Army wife. Choose one.

I would suggest the career. Both of you can find someone new. He will have a lot on his plate for the next 4 or so years. Not a lot of time for a wife.

Not what you want to hear, I'm sure.

Answer 10

He will probably go to Iraq, so you will probably not see much of him until he gets out of the Army.