My boyfriend is living with me and lost his job a few months ago. I pay all his bills, spending money ect....?

Question

its fine with me for now because he is about to graduate and get a good job and I already have a great job. The problem is I keep forgetting to leave him money to get gas or food ect. Its not that I forget about him I just forget the last time I gave him money and how much....this pisses him off. I told him to just remind him but he said he doesnt want to beg me and he hates that I forget about "his life". Apart of me is pissed he is mad about anything considering I do everything, so who cares if you have to remind me to give you cash? Everyone has things they do and I forget stuff. Im a full time student, full time worker and have family issues. When he gets mad about this it makes me feel like he doesnt understand my life...In his defense he thinks I dont think of him. I do though everyday I do things to make his life better....I thought of just giving him abunch off cash at the start of the week but he goes through it faster. What do you think...should he complain?

Answer 1

I say I can't believe he's being a jerk about it. Why doesn't he ask for it in advance instead of waiting until he's out of money and then blaming you. Sounds like he's looking a gift horse in the mouth. (If you don't know what that means, you can tell how old horses are by their teeth) Tell him you have a budget and give him what you can but no more.

Answer 2

It's really a drag for him to have to ask for money, again and again. It's really a drag for you to do a lot and get anger in return. However, I suggest the two of you agree on an equal weekly spending budget for each of you. You both get that money on the either Friday or Sunday and stick it in two envelopes to last you the week (or at Safeway you can get an AX gift card that can be redeemed at most places). That way,  you both stick to your "envelope" which equates to working on saving money and limiting purchases together, until he has a job. And.. there will be a time when the circumstances reverse. You'll want him to remember you were supportive, respectful, and caring rather than forgetful and critical. There are a lot of "I"s in your paragraph. For a couple to survive unemployment, tough economic times, and finding a new job, it's about "We".

Answer 3

You're helping him too much already and he doesn't show appreciation or consideration for your busy schedule and family issues.... sounds like he thinks the world revolves around him... do you realize you've helped him get through school?  that's not your responsibility and the ungrateful chap is getting mad he has to ask for money...  he should find a part-time job or something else to provide for his own weekly expenses...   If I were you I start evaluating what are you really getting out of this relationship?  seems like you're doing too much....

Answer 4

You are enabling him to be a bum. A few months are too long to be without a job.  Toss him out.

Answer 5

He mos def has no right to complain and accuse you of forgeting about "his life." It even sounds like he does not respect its YOUR money you are talking about. Is the good job after graduation a guarantee or is he going to start job hunting once he graduates?

At this rate I would think he should get something part time and foot some of his bills himself. Did y'all have an agreement as to the amount of money you were going to be giving him and for how long? What about when he gets a job, which bills will he be footing? It sounds to me like he is using emotional blackmail. If you are to continue giving him money you need to put a cap on the amount...he should be a little frugal and this should be even an ideal opportunity for him to live within his means. I'm just hoping that the pattern you have established here won't continue on long after he gets him a good job.

Answer 6

So life revolves around him.  Wow, I need to find a girl like you.  My girlfriend would kick me out so fast.  SOOOOOOOOOOO Fast.  She would make me leave the house and look for work.  Not that I would ever EVER spend months without a job. You sound thoughtful, hard working and responsible.  what a shame that you are with him.  Good Luck.  If you live in NJ I can set you up with some of my thoughtful, responsible, friends.