My boyfriend is worried he wont be a good dad, how can i reassure him?

Question

My boyfriend is worried he wont be a good dad, how can i reassure him? The baby is due in January.

Answer 1

Try to laugh it off at this time, unless he truly seems depressed over this situation. Most first time Moms and Dads have their doubts but no-one can really be sure how things will pan out until baby makes his/her grand arrival!

Make sure he is as informed as possible. Try finding a book on e-bay cheaply that is especially designed for Dads to be. There's some great reading material out there and lots of valuable time for him to become as clued-up as possible :]

Good  luck!

Answer 2

tell him he has 18 years to get it right and no one becomes a perfect parent over night....everyone makes mistakes...AND HOPEFULLY LEARNS FROM THEM

Answer 3

tell him to grow up, im sure youve got more important things to do than masage his ego, like giving birth and all.

Answer 4

The best way to re-assure him is to let him in on the baby- planning.  Start small, and let him research some baby products, then work your way up to shared decisions like babysitting and developmental programs and products.  You can also have him help you out with some things/chores, to make him feel useful and divert his attention from parenting prep to pregnancy assist.  Basically, have him do, and not think.

You need to show him that parenting is a shared responsibility and that he'll need to focus on the "big picture", not just "his" role. Sooner or later he'll have no time to obsess over these things.

Congratulations to both of you!

Answer 5

If you have any relatives who have babies, maybe invite them over and see how your boyfriend reacts towards the baby.

Just like practise?

Answer 6

Tell him his worry is normal.  Everyone who is expecting their first child worries about whether they'll be a good parent.  In a way,a little nervousness is a good thing  - it means he's taking his responsibility seriously and cares about what kind of dad he will be.  Like all new parents, you both will learn as you go along. Seek support from other people - maybe your own parents or friends who have children.  Take advantage of parenting classes and early childhood programs if they are available in your community.  Trust your instincts;  your love for your baby will get you through the tough times.

Answer 7

Wait until the baby is born and let him feed the baby, change a cute tiny bum, hold them, put them to sleep and even let him 'babysit' while you take a bath or a nap for an hour.  Praise everything he tries to do himself with the baby so that his confidence will build.  If you have to show him how to do something with the baby, be suggestive or show him once the first time and let him go to it.

Answer 8

Being a good dad isn't always easy i have 2 daughters i take it this is his first child.

He needs no reassurance he only needs to learn as he goes its the only way.

He will be a good father but he also needs to be a good partner if he does look after you and the child the rest will come naturally.

Answer 9

Tell him to wise up!!!

If he wants to be a good daddy he will, why does he think he wont be good, has he done something in the past???

Your the one going through all this at the minute, tell him to get a life, wise up and start looking after you and to stop looking for you to big up his ego

Answer 10

Tell him you love him and he loves you, you guys should get married, and for him to get a better job, maybe some paretering classes. Remeber to show lots of love to your baby!

Answer 11

Tell him it will happen naturally... once you become a father especially for the first time.. the behaviour changes and automatically knows how to cope being a father figure..

It could be he doesn't feel he is ready anymore.. but if its his first child.. its completely normal. A women is more physically capable of being prepared when it comes to their first child then the man because there already is a bond between the mother and the child during development inside the womb..That's why when the baby is born the father should try spend more time with the child in early stages. Tell him you will be there when times seem hard... and not to worry.

Answer 12

have conversations about everything but parent hood, take his mind off it, then when the baby comes, watch his parental instincts  take over  (hopefully)

Answer 13

He didn't think all this through very well then did he? I'm sure many parents have these apprehensions. There could be some parenting groups around. Isn't there a Parenting magazine? Take a look in there for advice.

Answer 14

I think we all worry about that until we have the little wee ones in our arms. Just keep reassuring him that he will, he is probably nervous, but he'll be fine.

Answer 15

Tell him its natural to feel like that,my husband felt like that to but as soon as your wee baby comes it will come naturally,The love he will have for his wee baby will take over he wont want to put it down, tell him he will be fine and will be a great wee daddy congratulations.

Answer 16

Well, everyone feels like that. It seems like such a big responsibility, but when the time comes your new child will completely change your life. In a good way. You will never feel anything like it, you will want to be a good father from the moment you see him (or her) and the bond that develops will make you do what ever you can to make that child safe and happy. It's amazing. He'll see what I mean in the new year. Try getting him to talk to other dads (starting with his own) to understand what fatherhood and family really means.

Answer 17

Bring some of your family over, who have kids! Get him to play around with them so that he can see that he's good with him. Maybe ask someone to comment on him!

Congratulations on the baby!

Answer 18

This is easy!

Tell him bad fathers (or mothers for that matter) don't worry about whether or not they'll be good parents!

A bad father wouldn't be worrying that he's going to be a bad father.

Make sense?