My boyfriend joked about having a threesome with his colleague, should believe that it remains a joke?

Question

I used to work in the same company as them. Lately, both of them are talking about s*x. My boyfriend, on two occasions, mentioned about involving her sexually, threesome and calling her during s*x. He later pass it off as a joke and told me not to take it seriously. He is now in the same city as her. What should I do? Believe everything he said?

Answer 1

It's serious. You should decide. It seems that he prefer an open relationship, than tradional. If you are not in it, leave him.

Answer 2

thats disrespectful because he is talking about a specific person.  

Answer 3

Doesn't sound like a joke to me.  Looks like he's "testing" the waters to see if you're up for it. If you are not into it, let him know that he is disrespecting you and needs to stop.

Answer 4

You should know your boyfriend better than any of us do and you should have a gut feeling about whether or not he's kidding.  I think you DO have that gut feeling but you don't want to face up to it because it is too hurtful.  If someone says something once and then says they're kidding, OK -- take it for what it is -- they're kidding.  But not if they say it more than once, each time getting an unfavorable reaction from you.  I think he says he's kidding each time because you don't get excited by the idea (just as you shouldn't) and he sees he's trying to involve you in something you don't think is good or nice or normal.  If he's really YOUR boyfriend, you shouldn't have to worry about things like this with him.  You should at least be on the same wavelength about s*x and wanting it to be exclusive to each other and WITH each other.

Answer 5

If he wasn't seriously thinking about it then he would not be hjoking about it around you. His jokes are a ploy to condition you for what he is eventually going to do.

Answer 6

No, it's every guys ultimate fantasy. Indulge him.

Answer 7

ask him if that's what he wants or if he is just joking around!

if your not sure then only he can make that sure or not!

You really need to talk to him

if you don't beleive what he says then why are you with him?

Answer 8

That it migh happen or that he's planning on doing so.Don't talk to him no more.If there in the same city you know what that means.

Answer 9

That is no joke.  He is fantasizing.  Hopefully it will stay a fantasy and not a reality.

Answer 10

I think he was serious when he first broached the subject.  Because of your reaction, he backed off and tried to play it off as a joke.  Just because he was interested in bringing the three of you together for s*x doesn't necessarily mean he'll cheat on you with her.  It sounds more like he was being egged on by conversations with her to fulfill a fantasy many men have.  Once he saw the affect it had on you though, he backed off....that's a good thing. He didn't push it.  Until he gives you a reason not to trust him, you should continue to believe he's the same guy you loved and trusted prior to his "joke."

Answer 11

Ofcourse, he told u directly and would have read ur feelings. He mean what he said. He and she r ready to that. That was not a joke. Remaining part is ur decision.

Answer 12

certainly something is brewing...no doubt about that. but he likes you too and maybe feels a bit guilty about doing anything behind your back. the other woman doesnt look like she is serious but doesn't mind breaking you two up!

Answer 13

Your in trouble, sweetheart.  All men are pigs, I am a man, therefore, I am a pig.  And pigs know their own kind.  This guy thinks he is feeling you out on the subject (no pun intended) without you having a clue about what he's really doing.  Men are stupid that way.  This guy obviously has the hots for this girl AND does want a threesome.  Not crazy, a lot of guys do, but obviously not what you are looking for in a relationship.  Drop him now...it will only get worse later.  Lots of guys out there wouldn't put you through this garbage!!  Good luck.

Answer 14

It's never a "joke" to laugh about having s*x with anyone else that is not you.

I would talk to him about it. I think trust is something that is "earned". You shouldn't just trust someone just because you are dating them. Your trust is just cracking it's head out of the egg, unless you were close friends before your relationship.

Answer 15

I would be a bit suspicious as there seems to be something more going on than what he is telling you. If you are interested in having a threesome I would avoid having one with this woman as it may make it a very complicated situation emotionally and it is my opinion that it may end badly.  

Answer 16

i think if he gets that chance he will **** her  

Answer 17

You better believe it. If those word can come out of his mouth, you better believe it's on his mind. If I were you, I would seriously think about dumping him. I don't want the stress of hearing such things from my bf or husband. It would kill me.

Answer 18

If this question is bothering u, I think u should simply dump him.