My boyfriend lied - how do i trust him again?

Question

My fella when we first met never had a relationship so was obsessed with women, pron (on works comp so dont want to spell it correctly lol) so when starting the relationship i explained that i find it disrespectful if he carried on watching pron when in a relationship as its degrading to women, gives a fake impression on a womens body etc. he said he would stop. throughout the year i randomly asked him to which he said no he swore theres no need he has me im more than enough - he even swore down on my granddads grave. so i put my complete trust in him.

We havent had s*x in a while as i have had a water infection then a kidney infection then water again lol now im on my period haha... so to please im i sucked him off, i thought loads would come out hardly nothing did (sorry if this is too much info) so i asked him again, i could tell he was lying - in the end he confessed he has been looking at pron... i feel so betrayed, cheated, humiliated - as all this time i have been going on at how much it gives a fake impression on womens body how much i dont like it etc an asking him if he understands why i dislike it an he agreed!!!!!

I dont know whats hurting me more - he lied to me for a year, even swearing down on my granddads grave!!! the fact he has a lack of respect for my feelings - knowing how much it kills me if i think he has looked at another women never mind watching one na*ed doing naughty things!!!!!!!!

it hurts me the though of him wanting another women so much - more than me. it kills me, i feel like hes mentally cheated on me, as much as i know ur all going to tell me to get a grip its just pron well no - im not going to be one of those woman that are drilled into thinking we "have" to put up with it coz we dont. Ihave more than enough with him he completes me in everyway an i have no reason to look at another bloke is such a s*xual way...!!! he agreed he would be just as hurt if i were to have done what he has.

we have talked an im going to try an give it another go an work at it, thing that hurts me now is i feel like hes a pervert... i feel hes checking every women out now or if someone pretty comes on tv - i feel hes thinking "oh love to get her to bed" or wa*k over her. what happens if he thinks of these pron when having s*x with me?????!!!!!!!

The worst outcome on this is i cant sleep with him, i cant have him seeing my body what so ever - those women have fake b***s all lifted an perk mine on the otherhand are far too big an REAl so they sag so much how the h**l could he possibly think there attractive??????????? after getting off over fake ones. god sake its hurting me so much, but i want us to work so much. he seemed really sorry, he said he feels discusted with himself and would never do it but why on earth should i beleive him this time? he said he wasnt doing it for a year an he was! knowly fullwell how much it hurts me. what makes it so different this time round?

One mind sees the most cutest gentle guy in the world - who every time we argue an we split up he begs for me he says im his world, he takes me out for meals, buys me stuff cooks for me all the time, snuggles up an watch dvd's etc. now the other side see's a liar an a dirty pervert who i cant trust. im so confused. how do i get over this? xxxxxxxxx

Answer 1

First i want to let u know that nobody has time read ur so big novel.

Second all the boys,men lie ,it is normal and natural thing

Suppose ur bf speaks the truth then he is abnormal and needs some psychologist consult.

Answer 2

Hiii

It's natural for a guy to look at p**n, just like you can as well.

You sound like you're very insecure and need to know that he loves you. Ask him and get him to reassure you. Do this a couple of times. The thing is that falling in love is taking a risk. You have to take the risk to live it. It sucks, but hey.

  

Answer 3

Ignore the first comment, I actually did read your post, and I'm sure others will as well.

He sounds like he's addicted lol, maybe he should speak to someone.

I'm sorry this is hurting your confidence, but be comfortable in your skin. He obviously does fine you attractive, or he wouldn't be with you.

If it really means that much to you, give him the ultimatum. You. Or p**n.  

Answer 4

1. Make him understand that he has to GROW up and be a man in this real world and that trust and reliability is one of the most important qualities in a person when in a job AND relationship. He has to realise he has his own woman now and if he wants to be an idiot manwhore thing; slap him in the face and kick him in the balls for disrespecting you.

2. If he loves you than he should accept how beautiful you are in your own skin, if not than he's going to have plenty of issues in life with other women (if he does) if he cant accept both sides of a woman (soul and body appearance). And the media has really got him in their trap. Sit him down have him get naked infront of you and tell him that he is beautiful to you. Then get naked infront of him and get him to be truthful about you.

Really hope this helps :S, because there is nothing better than being open to one another.  

Answer 5

Are you really mad that he lied or are you just that insecure with yourself? Knowing you I would of lied to because you take things way too personally. d**n grow up and get over it. He cheated on you with his hand and a video of girls that are paid to look like that and get screwed by guys. Just please grow the h**l up.