My boyfriend of 1 year still has pictures of his ex-wife on display in his apartment. ?

Question

They have been divorced for 4 years and she is remarried. However they speak every day, They have 2 college age daughters. Even though he swears he loves me and has been over his ex for years, he still keeps his wedding picture and other "family" pictures on display. I have told him how much this bothers and hurts me, but he just dismisses it saying they're up because his daughters, or family or old friends are also in the photos. He is a wonderful person in every other aspect and we have even talked of marriage, but this is really putting a wedge in our relationship. By the way, there are NO pictures of me or of us as a couple. He claims ignorance in how to download images from his digital camera to his computer and print them out. I gave him a Waterford Crystal picture frame on Valentine's Day saying that I hoped he would put our picture in it. The frame is still in the box. What do you think?

Answer 1

put your foot down! Your boyfriend is grown and his daughters can put that picture in their own rooms or apartments if they want! Tell him that he needs to decice if your feeliongs are important to him or not. because if they aren't then he can find another girlfriend to put behind his ex, and you can get on with your life and find some great guy who WILL respect you and your feelings. really I say nip this in the bud now.

Answer 2

Take some initiative and put up some pictures of you & your hubby. Someone had a really good answer regarding lighting a candle. Print those photos yourself and handle your business.

Answer 3

if he does not care I wouldn't either...his thought process is not gonna change...better run while you can...

Answer 4

G'Day mate he is not doing it for himself he is doing it for the respect to his daughters,after all she is the mother of his children.It's probably to give a home feeling to the girls when they visit.But it don't mean you cant put some pictures of yrself there,go to a photo shoot and get some done of you and him together.I tell you one thing you don't buy a man a picture frame for valentine's that's c**p sorry but if i got one i would leave it in the box also.That's something you would get a girlfriend of yours.You should of got him a hammer or a gun lol.I think he is finding it hard to open up to you on his true feeling also.Try and get him to come out of that shell,because of his past.cheers mate

Answer 5

Even though he has a past with his ex, he has his future with you. He needs to respect you and take down the photos of his ex. Now if his children were still living there, it might have been more of a comfort to see "mommy's picture" but they are grown up now.

Next time you give him a frame, put a picture of you or the both of you in the frame.

Answer 6

obviously his ex is still his number 1 love...

I agree being civil for the sake of the kids, but he should take them down for your sake..

so when you both get married, he will have your wedding photos and theirs still up?!  sounds messed up

Answer 7

I'm sorry but you're just his girlfriend, not his wife or soon to be wife. You're pretty much a temporary fixture in his life. I don't know anyone who puts up couples pics of themselves with someone that they haven't been involved with for at least 2 years.

When I read your questions (not the paragraph that followed) I figured he had the pics up because of other people that were in the pictures. Stop worrying about the pictures, but if its such a big deal to you (I take it you're significantly younger than him) frame a picture of the two of you yourself and give it to him.  

Answer 8

I think you should print the picture for him.

Answer 9

I think you should print several good pictures of the two of you and let him pick one to put into the frame you already gave him.  Because, it is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.

Answer 10

He may love you in his own way but still has not been able to cut all the emotional baggage he has from his prior relationship with his ex wife and children. In his mind they are his family and does not want to let it go to the point he puts them as a priority over you. This indicates he is not ready to be fully committed to you or anyone else. Him talking to his ex wife every day is also another indication of him not being able to let go. He is still on rebound even if it has been 4 years since the divorce as his refusal of letting go has extended the normal amount of time a person is in rebound. I would be truly upset and not willing to continue with him if I were in your shoes. But of course the decision is up to you.  

Answer 11

The pictures depict his past which he can't erase, even with you.  What I would do is get an appointment at a photo studio (Even if it's k-mart or walmart or motofoto) and have a series done of the two of you.  Put one in that fabulous frame you bought and I would slowly replace the past (except children pictures) with the present and future.  If he objects too strenuously I would move on.