My boyfriend of 6 years, mother is so rude and trashes me and my family, it's hurtful !

Question

It causes so many problems for us and I am sick of it! What is the best way fro him to handle this with her?

Answer 1

Have you mentioned this to your boyfriend?

She is probably jealous that her 'mummy's boy' has grown up and has another woman in his life! Most mums are!

Try spending time with her, going shopping together maybe? Suggest Family get-to-gethers or a specific day in which you Both go to her house.

If that doesnt work have a quiet word with her, ask her to explain what her problem is with you and your family.

If she still is hurtful i dont think she is worth your time and effort x

good luck x

Answer 2

Jealousy, Jealousy, Jealousy.  It all boils down to that.  She's jealous of you and your relationship with her son.  And she's insecure so she has to put you and your family down to feel better about herself.  The only suggestion I can give you to possible make things a little better is to give her a chance to get to know the real you, and that you're interested in making her son happy.  If she truly loves him, that is her goal for him as well.  If she's selfish and possessive, you'll never work it out because he is not her priority, she is.  Just see her as little as possible.

Answer 3

he need to stand up to her and tell her its not acceptable and if she cant behave she dont need to come around

Answer 4

maybe its time to let go? probably not. Maybe you,your boyfriend, and his mother should all sit down and talk. find out why shes so hurtful towards you and try to talk it out with her. if you dont want to talk to her about it, have him talk to her about it.

Answer 5

Your age is an important factor in deciding a good reply to this question ,,,, Parental intervention in a situation like this can play a big part depending on your age ,,,,  Assuming that you are both 18 or older or close to on either side it's up to your boyfriend to show just where his loyalties lie ,,,,  If he can't handle this then he has no business being in a relationship to begin with ,,,, He shouldnt have to or be expected to alter or adjust his social life just to satisfy his mothers whims or to prove how he feels about her ,,,,He's got a major problem here for sure and he's obviously letting the effects of it trickle down and become an issue in his social life ,,,,If he allows his mother to dictate to him where his social life is concerned now then she's going to think she can do it all the time and from then on ,,,,

There are some mothers that try to control and dictate to their sons until they are put in their place ,,,, Some mothers try to relive their own child hood through that of their children and try to influence them in the direction they think their son should go ,,,, Sometimes they will use different ploys to control him such as loyalty or shame or doubt or parental respect and sometimes even tears to maintain control or domination over him ,,,, This of course puts the son in a hard spot that the mother seems not to care about ,,,,It places pressures on him that in a normal situation he'd never have to face ,,,, Some mothers have even driven their sons to suicide before ,,,,  

You might be the catalyst for this problem but aren't the cause or the one responsible for it ,,,, The problem is the mother ,,,, It's not really you she has issues about but ANY girl that would be in your position that would pose a threat to her control and domination ,,,, This will get worse before it gets better if it gets any better at all  ,,,,  The only solution for both of you where this is concerned is for him to put his foot down once and for all and tell her that he's old enough to make his own decisions where his social life is concerned ,,,, That she can't live his life for him or make his decisions for the rest of his life or make his mistakes either ,,,,  That if he's going to live with mistakes they will be his and not mistakes made for him ,,,

As for where you are concerned you have to think of you first ,,,, You don't need this c**p or drama in your life ,,,, Life is hard enough without having to put up with insults and bad mouth from some jealous and domineering control freak like is mother ,,,, He might be under stress because of her now but it's not your fault and you shouldn't be expected to live with it ,,,,  It's time to find out just where his loyalties lie either with you or his mother ,,,,, You need to tell him what kind of a position this stiuation is putting you in and that you just don't need it let alone like it ,,,, Talk to him and let him know what you think he should do ,,,,  It's past time for him to show where his heart is and get up on his two hind legs and make a stand one way or another ,,,, He's the only one that can do this ,,,, No one can do it for him ,,,,,

If he listens to you then he's doing you and him a favor ,,,, If he can't bring himself to do it then he's not the right one for you in the first place and he should just lay down and let his mother walk all over him and hen peck him for the rest of her life ,,,, If he lets that happen he's going to wind up a 40 or 45 plus year old when Momma finally passes away and he'll be totally lost because Momma won't be there to tell him what to do anymore ,,,, He'll be too old to start a family by that time and his whole life will be a lonely tradgety ,,,,

There are plenty of fish in the pond sugar so don't waste your time on this guy if he can't stand up and be a man and take control of his own destiny ,,,, There's some one out there for you somewhere ,,,, All you have to do is start circulating and find him ,,,,  Most likely he'll come trouble and problem free and he won't have Momma hanging around his neck either ,,,,  There's no reason for you to wait to do this either ,,,, Get it settled for your sake once and for all ,,,, Then decide what you are going to do ,,,,

Wishing you all the luck in the world chicky ,,,, Yoda told you this ,,,,,,   //

Answer 6

She's concerned about her son. He's growing up ,and all those stories about AIDS, teens having s*x at younger ages, and other things scare her. Assure her that you won't do anything, and tell your BF that he needs to get his parents to stop, or eventually, the two of you will split. I'm sure he doesn't want that.

hope this helps!

**Mi♥a**