My boyfriend of 6mths lost his job 3 mths ago?

Question

my boyfriend of 6mths lost his job 3 mths ago and has been in a depression since he is unable to find work, he has to pay his ex wife a lot of money in alimony, they have no kids & have been divorced a year and a half, but ever since he lost his job, he has wanted to take a step back from me, a mth ago i found text messages, yes i had to look thru his phone, that he drove her on his on his boat to the beach w/her friends and that he also took her to see her mother in the hospital, which is fine, but he lied about it, as well as some others from her asking do u still wanna grab a bite to eat and also calling him babe, which he said he didnt go eat w/her, his family has told me she is only after his money, he told me he didnt tell me b/c he didnt want to fight about it, then i found out when we went to dinner, she called him but he didnt pick up only to go in the bathroom to call her back, but didnt tell me that, found that looking thru his phone, couldnt talk to her in front of me he said he was embarrssed b/c she always tries to kill herself & has mjaor depression problems, i forgave him even thou we still fougth about it, i asked him y he cant give her up and he told me u dont know what we had & he doesnt know if he can give her up when the alimony is done in 2 1/2 yrs, so we made up & i went on vaca then when i came back i checked his phone again and he sent her text messages from him this time saying he missed her, she said she missed him to, he did tell me to have fun and he loved me, but he never said he missed me until i said it first, also i put 2&@ 2gether and found out the same day he called her & he said he only spoke to her for 3 mins, but when he spoke to me that nite his phone was dying and i only got 30 secs, he choose to speak to her over me, this happened a week ago, so we fought and i told him we would start over but then again and he apolizged a 100 times, he said he only had a moment and he does not want her back but then i flipped out and sent him nasty text messages two days ago, after we were gonna start over & now he tells me he is not ready for a realtionship and wants to take a step back, mabye go on a few dates, he tells me it is not me it is him, and he just wants some time, should i even wait around or should i just hit the road? do i overact over things and am i being too pushy...

Answer 1

Move on!! Don't you get it?  She comes first in his life!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

It is not that it's impossible for you two to work your problems out, it's just that it doesn't sound like you two have the right temperaments to work well with each other. He hasn't been totally straightforward with you, and you have some trust issues. You need more commitment and confidence from a man than he can give than he can give you right now. There is someone out there that is a better fit for you.  I would probably move on.

Answer 3

he hides it from you cause he is guility. He wouldnt push you back if he loved you. He is going to get back with her it sounds like! Its always them when they say that

Answer 4

It is obvious he is not over his ex wife. He is only holding on to you as a back up plan. This has been so obvious from all that you wrote. It is funny how you can remember each incident,yet how easy it is for him to lie to you and get away with it. Re-read your question and your answer is right in there. Read it.  

Answer 5

He should get a job so 1) he has less time for his ex and 2) he needs to get a job.