My boyfriend raped his ex?

Question

We have only gone out for a month..and we've had a little bit of ups and downs. But I figured out something really horrible..

His ex-girlfriend is one of my good friends. Shes not angry that I'm going out with him..and were pretty good friends still. But I learned when they were going out that he had raped her once (she was willing, then told him to stop and she didnt). For some reason..they've stilll remained friends.

Last night I broke up with him..allthough I still have feelings for him. I was so shocked that he had done this..because it doesnt seem like he would hurt a fly. My feelings are really hurt, and I'm considering taking him back..but I know its not worth it. Any advice?

Answer 1

You did the right thing.  It is completely unacceptable that he did that and that she is still friends with him.  You need to have a serious heart to heart with her and let her know how unhealthy it is to have him in her life.  Neither of you should be within a hundred feet of this guy!  It doesn't matter if he viciously raped her against her own will or if she was willing but the changed her mind.  A woman has a right to decide that she isn't comfortable with having s*x, and she should not have been violated just because he was too horny to stop.  I don't think anyone involved in this scenario is taking it as seriously as they should.  Even though she decided not to press charges, she should not be hanging around him and she should have told you what you were getting in to.  They both need psychological help.  I'm not saying that to be mean, I really believe they do.  On second thought, maybe you should consider distancing yourself from BOTH of them.

Answer 2

~Dont waste your time on someone that is not worth the while. You have already made the choice to not see em anymore, and it should remain that way. That is so because once you get back into a relationship with him, you are risking the chance of you possibly thinking wrong of him, and him possibly doing the same thing to you. Stay strong, even though you have feelings for him. Im sure you can find someone better. Especially since you have only dated em for a month. Good luck with all!~

Answer 3

i would leave. cause he might do something to you too.  

Answer 4

Although it's a very serious thing that he"raped' her, how is it that they're still such close friends? I think its possible, but its a hard situation to judge without knowing all the true facts. I say stay away from him and you will see what he becomes, but not have to go through all the drama of having that in your life. There are many guys in this world and you probably don't need this c**p in your life. Move on and save yourself the heartache in the future.

Answer 5

at least you had the sense to dump him. Keep it that way.

Answer 6

well listen to your heart... do as it tells you to do.

but make sure it's what you rly want.

if he admitted to doing it, he's prolly not gonna do it again considering he prolly feels bad about it. but with some ppl you jus never kno.

that's really odd that they're remained friends tho.

Answer 7

Your friend might be telling lies to get you away from him, you might have made a mistake.

Answer 8

If he actually raped her she would not be his friend.....no way!

Maybe he went to far with her but if he raped her she would be a mess.You need to talk to him more and listen to his side too.It sounds a bit exaggerated to me.That's my opinion from what you've said anyway.

Answer 9

You need to seriously consider the relationship. Talk to your friend bout it and see what exactly happened. Because if there still friends it might not have been that bad.  

Answer 10

THATS A SIGN PAL!!!! NOWS UR CHANCE TO GET OUT!!!!! LEAVE THE J@CK@SS!!!

Answer 11

Did you hear his side of the story too?  Either way it sounds like a bad situation and you've only been with him for a month so leaving wouldn't be the end of the world.  If you're going to leave it's best to do it now instead of later when it's too late or something bad has happened to you.

Answer 12

Why waste your time? And if that's your friend that he did that to, why the h**l would you be dating him? If you've heard that, don't get back with him. No one needs a discusting pig. If you do get back with him, your an idiot. Never know what will happen. Once raped someone, could again. Don't be stupid.

Answer 13

i can't believe he would do that!! he's a jerk, what if he does this to you? i would not take him back. Remember he could hurt you or someone else. Looks can be deceiving hun. good luck!! =)

Answer 14

There's a billion single men out there who haven't raped their ex girlfriend, and are probably sweeter and better looking than him!

I wouldn't mess with him, no reason getting more attached to somebody who could be scary in the future.  

Answer 15

RUN AWAY!

And your friend must feel pretty crappy about herself to continue being friends with this guy. I think if you talked to her, you'd find out that there are deeper feelings there that she won't talk about.

Answer 16

You should have ask him his side of the story before you broke up with him. Just because she is your friend that does not mean that she is telling the truth. I have trouble believing that they are still friends if he raped her. Ask him what happen before you completely break it off. Investigate more.

Answer 17

if his ex was really raped, why are they still friends? if i was raped by my ex, he definitely wouldn't be my friend.

did he really rape her?

Answer 18

talk to him about it and see what he says, if he doesnt have a good reason, just forget him, that should be taken seriously!

answer?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 19

you're giving yourself the best advice to give right now

there will be other fish in the sea, don't worry about hooking back up with your good friend's ex and possible rapist

...duh

Answer 20

ew.

once a rapist, always a rapist.

Answer 21

That kinda shows me that he has no control over himself, and takes whatever he wants.  You never know if he'll do it again... but I don't think you should take that chance.  Maybe he won't even do it to you, but to someone else.  And then you'll be more hurt later, then letting him go now.  Consider yourself lucky that you found out before it's too late.    

Answer 22

i say the rape thing is b.s. if some1 was truly "raped" how in the world would they still be friends?

Answer 23

may be she is not happy with you being with him, but she is being a good friend if what you say about her not being angry is true.  If you believe what she said about your boyfriend then may be you should just move on, if you don't believe her and take him back then be prepared you may loose a friend. Also if you don't believe her you have to ask yourself why would she make something that strong up? A month is not really that long a relationship is it? How well do you really know someone after that? and how long have you known your friend...think about it.

Answer 24

well you should really think about it because people do change and they also make mistakes. what you guys could have can turn out to be really special and you will never know. just talk with him and her about it and be careful.

good luck ♥

Answer 25

Seems like a winner.  

Answer 26

It's very odd that they've remained friends.  

Move on now, before you invest more time and risk the same for yourself.  That's not the kind of thing you should wait around for to see if he does it to you too.

Answer 27

Maybe he didn't stop because of the heat of the moment. If the two of them are still friends then she must not think what he did was all that bad. I say you get his side of the story first and then depending on the answer you decide where to take the relationship.

Answer 28

unless you dont mind getting rape, you best leave him and find someone else. if he tries anything crazy on you, then be sure to fight back! Dont be stupid!!

Answer 29

I think the right thing to do was to break it off with him in this situation, who knows what he could do to you? but maybe your friend is bothered by you two dating and is trying to split you up? I think you need to seriously discuss what your friend has said about this guy.. rape is a serious allegation to make about someone. talk it through with him and see his side of the story. the best thing to do it follow what you believe is right, people make mistakes.

good luck x

Answer 30

forgive him he prob just got caught up in the moment and ur friend was being too emotional

Answer 31

Don't take him back, he raped your friend! What's wrong with you? I wouldn't even consider taking him back.