My boyfriend really wants to adopt.

Question

Right now, we are very well off and I'm pregnant with our first. I am 18 and he is 20. He asked me if I would be interested in adopting and I wasn't sure. So how does it work?

We are living in a really nice apartment and have enough money to adopt, but how does it work?

He wants to adopt from Korea, because he has two siblings adopted from Korea.

Answer 1

In Korea both parents have to be at least 25 in order to adopt. Being that your 18 and 20 now. You all would not be able to even start a process until 2014 / 2015  (6 or 7 years) depending on your DOB, when you turn 25.  A couple most be married for 3 years, have no more  than 4 children already in the home. They say it could take 10 to 20 months from the time the process is started until you get a placement.  Certainly do your research now then when the time comes if you both want to adopt then go for it. It must be something you both truly want, if you do not truly want to adopt but only want to please your husband don’t do it. No child deserves to be placed in a family where both parents don’t truly want the child.  

As someone said you can talk to your Korean in laws about this, learn the Korean Language, their customs, how to cook some Korean dishes , if able you might even be able take a trip to Korea. I would think it would be beneficial that you already have Korean relatives in the family.

Remember a lot can happen in  6 or 7 years, who knows how many children you will have by then you could be over the limit and not be able to adopt from Korea.

Here are some links with more information you all should do your own research as well, type in Korean Adoption. You also might go to adoption.com forums boards I’m sure they have a section on parents who have adopted from Asian countries.

http://www.dillonadopt.com/Korea-A.htm

http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/korea_ad...

http://korea.adoption.com/

Answer 2

The first thing you need to do is find an adoption agency that deals with adoptions of Korean children.  They will most likely have an information night that will answer most of your questions regarding overseas adoptions.  The agency will then do a homestudy on your family and assist you to get all the needed documentation needed.  They will send it to Korea and then you wait....  

There are a lot of steps that take a lot of time, such as translating all the paperwork into Korean.  There may also stipulations from the Korean government ie. length of marriage, minimum age.  The agency will have all the answers to those questions.

Good luck!

Answer 3

not sure what your specific state rules are but most say you must be married for a year or two and be 21 or older. Then each country has rules like must be 25 or 30. It all depends on what state you live and what agency and country you wish to adopt thru. Best thing is to start saving lots of money.

Answer 4

I think it is wonderful that your boyfriend wants to adopt a child.

If he has two siblings who are adopted from Korea, his parents will be able to tell you all about adoption. Or

go to the library and read the latest books on adoption.

But I do think you should be married first.

Answer 5

I think his dad has the right idea that you need to do more research. While I guess asking this question is a good starting point, there's so much more to this than anyone can possibly give you in an answer here. If you're still not sure how it works, you aren't at a point where you can say if you're interested or not.

I suggest that you start by talking to your boyfriend's siblings. They were the ones most affected by their adoption, and can give you the most realistic idea of what it involves. Be sure to make clear to them you want to know both the pros and the cons, because you're trying to make an educated decision.

I also suggest you look into adopting from foster care in your local area. Don't overlook the children "in your own backyard" who truly need homes. While I understand that children are in need all over the world and that his family does have a particular connection to Korea, there are additional issues of culture and heritage in international adoption that you would really need to think through.

That's not necessarily to discourage you from international adoption, but to encourage you to look at all the possibilities, and not just assume it has to be Korea.

Answer 6

Well for starters most Asian countries require you to be married and show proof of marriage.  As for the rest the other poster have the right idea  

Answer 7

I think to adopt from Korea you have to be married for five years.  If you are serious, you need to talk to an adoption agency.

And, you should wait to see how "well off" you are after you have your baby.

I am betting you aren't as well off as you think, being that you are 18 and 20 and expecting your first child.  Did either of you finish college yet?

Answer 8

some countries have age requirements.  you may have to wait a few years.

Answer 9

give it at least a year after your first is born. although adoption is usually a long process, you should make sure that you can handle 1 baby before you make the commitment to take care of a second. good luck to you!

Answer 10

Are his parents still around? I would ask them first, since they obviously have done it before. They would also be able to give you some great advice.

Answer 11

Sure, why not? As long as you space your kids out properly and keep your family size to something you can afford, more power to you. (Unless you are married for several years by the time you start the process you'll come up against a lot of barriers, so you'll need to take care of that first too! Age limits also vary year by year and country by country, but I'm sure you need to be at least 27 if not 30)

I was adopted and always knew I'd want to adopt. I have three kids, two adopted. Now, while I had always thought about it, I didn't actually adopt my first until I was sure I could mentally, physically and emotionally handle more kids. I was 32 when we brought her home and 35 when we brought home our youngest.

BTW, our youngest is three, and the total time it took us to adopt him from Korea was about a year and a half, from the day we submitted our paperwork to the day we brought him home. We did an international adoption because I had had cancer, and even though I was fine and fit and had my doctors' seals of approval, it makes it nearly impossible to have a birth mom here in the states select you.

Here's the link to the non-profit agency we used... it's a wealth of info and outlines all the steps, costs, waiting times, etc.

Answer 12

Well off? I would suggest buying a condo or house so your not throwing money out the window on rent.

Have you thought about temporarily sponsoring at risk teen moms in your area.  Nothing could be more giving.  

Answer 13

As an adoptive Mom of 2 girls from China, I applaude you both for wanting to adopt overseas.

I can recommend this agency for Korean adoption. It has all the details you need.  http://www.chsfs.org/

You both are a bit young yet, but you can do so many things to prepare to adopt.

Learn the language

Go to a Korean cultural event

Join an adoption group. there is a really good one on Yahoo groups.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/adopt_kore...

I am very active in the adoption community, and there is always room for more.

I knew just because your heart tells you, that is where your child is.

Answer 14

Why adopt when you can have one of your own?  

If you want to read about Korean and other trans-racial adoptions, then see sites such as "Transracial Abductees" or blogs such as "The Original Heping"

The Korean system is not based upon adoption of unwanted babies or orphans.  Instead it is based on expectant mothers being incarcerated in maternity homes and forced to surrender their babies.  The grief and pain for them is life-long.  Is this truly an industry you want to support?