My boyfriend refuses to let himself cry. is there anyway i can help him realize it's ok to show emotions?

Question

he says he feels things, but he just doesn't show it. he's lost a lot of people (death). I've heard him sniffle a little on the phone before, but when i ask him if he's crying he claims it's his sinuses.. i know a lot of men probably do this too, but i also know there are a lot of things he should have cried about. it can't possibly be healthy for him to bottle everything up. i tried telling him that it doesn't make him less of a man and that i wouldn't ever judge him.. didn't work.

Answer 1

if he refuses maybe he wants to stay strong for the ppl around him (maybe you) but you cant make him cry but if you want to help him show his emotions maybe if someting bad happens cry and say it ok to cry or when he is upset!!

sometimes when something bad happens like death some ppl instead of crying they get angry (so watch out for that)

Answer 2

everything's different for guys... sometimes guys are sensitive on the inside but don't wanna show it... to keep their cool, you know. maybe he does cry.. in his room, or a lone, where nobody sees him. but from my experience, i know guys hate talking about their past, so crying is basically like bringing back the past with feelings, in a way. whatever happens, dont force him to cry [lol] and just let him know you're there for him.

Answer 3

I have been  with my husband for nearly 30 years now and he has never cried. It is not good but it is him. He shows his emotions very little and bottles things up but It made it worse when i used to worry about it and add to the tension. He was brought up old school when touching and crying were for girls, I am pleased to say this is less so for our children and grandchildren but , even though you know it is not good, it is how many of us were brought up!!

don. try to change him just be there to saupport when needed. in some ways it is easier for us when a partner cries as you then know how to react

Answer 4

i cry but sumtimes i stop myself because i feel inferior to other tougher men. maybe thats why hes not crying

Answer 5

tell him to let his emotions out when he needs too. Its important to do that. Tell him that if he dont, he will send you mixed emotions!! Which isnt good for ya'lls relationship.

Answer 6

As was already said, you can't make him cry.  But something else you can do - when you're alone with no one else in house - sit back and let him sit in front of you and just hold him.  On the couch, bed, wherever you can both sit comfortably.  Don't do anything sexual, just watch a movie or listen to some music.  If he feels more comfortable with you, more relaxed, he may be more honest about his feelings.  Not say that means he'll cry.  Many men are 'tough' like that and just don't want to let someone else know.  Especially if someone else is a spouse/partner.  They feel they have to show strength to be strong enough for that person.

If it really appears that he is trying to hold back tears in your presence, then all you can do is just step forward and put your arms around him.  Don't say anything, just look into his eyes with an 'I love you and am here for you' look and leave it at that.

Answer 7

Leave him alone about it!!!

He will if he wants to, and you'll probably never know about it. Males are taught from and early age not to cry; it's embarassing for most of us when we do, even if no one knows. The last time I did, I forced myself to stop IMMEDIATELY, then went in the bathroom looked in the mirror and called myself all types of punks and pu$$ies.

It is not psycologically acceptable for most men to let themselves cry and it did me more harm than good.  When you think he needs to cry just give him some space and be there when he feels better.

Answer 8

he probably does cry, he's just not comfortable doing it in front of you. even though you say he'll still be the same man and that you won't judge him, he probably thinks you'll secretly think it.

my boyfriend cries in front of me and i love it.