My boyfriend wants to adopt our baby? He is not her biological father but has always been there for her?

Question

Hi. I just had a baby that the real father wasnt "ready" to take care of and hasnt spoken to me or asked aabout the baby for about 5-6 months. he thought it would be better to have an abortion. My no fiance has payed and helped with everything since i was 5 or six months pregnant till now, and he wants to adopt her. he has so much love for our little girl and in both our hearts he is her father no matter what. what do we have to do for him to adopt her? do we need her biological fathers permission? any imformation would help thank you.

Answer 1

I believe you will need the biological father to sign off his parental rights to your daughter.  I would contact a lawyer who handles family cases to get more information.  I hope everything works out well for you and your family.  Good luck!!

EDIT:  Dalice...why are you calling people maroon's?  Maroon is a color.  Did you mean MORON?  Looks like YOU proved that there are some moron's on here!

Answer 2

yes you do need the biological fathers permission to let your fiancee adopt your daughter ... even though his name is on the birth certificate ... he needs to relinquish rights to her and then you need have the adoption take place .. this takes him (the bio) out of all responsibility for the child ... if he says no ... start hitting him up for child support through the courts, go do the blood test stating he (the bio) is the father and then they will nail him for all back child support ...you may want to try using this as leverage.  I wish you luck!!!

Answer 3

If his name is on the birth certificate, he is the legal father.  He doesn't have to adopt her.  I seriously doubt the biolgical father will ever come around if you don't contact him.  If he did, he would have to pay for a DNA test to prove it was his baby and get an attorney and take you to court.

Answer 4

I think you should talk to a lawyer about adopting.  Even if your boyfriends name is on the birth cert, the father can ask for a blood test.  You should go about the appropriate channels so there is no way this can come back to bite you in the butt.  Good luck.

Oh, btw, Maroon means more than just a reddish purple color.  When Dalice said maroons, it could have meant people stranded on an island...let's face it, some people here act like they are stranded on an island with no human contact sometimes.  Research before you insult.

Answer 5

I am going to be the one who brings you the bad news. Having the non-biological parent sign is fraud. The bio-logical parents are the ones to sign, and if only one is present - then that parent signs. Legally, your finace shouldn't have signed anything until you guys were married, and the adoption was finalized. If the bio-logical Dad got a wild hair up his butt - he could cause some problems. Even though he has walked away - he hasn't signed away his rights, and could come back anytime asking for visitation.

The good thing though is that he may never come back into your life. So to everyone else - the child is your finance's. Social Security thinks he is because he signed the birth certificate. You could talk with a lawyer - but since everyone thinks that he's the "father" you may not even want to pursue the legal adoption - you never know what trouble it could get you and your finace into when the courts find out that you had him sign - knowing he wasn't the bio-father.

EDIT:

Knowingly letting the wrong man sign the birth certificate is fraud - did you not read the fine print on the paternity papers? None of us are being rude - we're giving you the facts - which is why you asked. What I find confusing is that in your original post you state that the biological father wasn't "ready" for a child, and that you hadn't spoke to him in months - so obviously you do know who the father is. Then you added more info - saying that you don't know who the father is. I'm a little confused by that. You asked a question - and we gave you an honest answer. If the biological father decided he wanted to play a role as father - he could come back and request a DNA test to be done, and he could fight for visitation - it's the reality of the situation, adn a judge may just give him parental rights to the child - even if he has been absent. You need to know the facts, and not some "fairytale". I would proceed with the legal adoption, so that you don't run into problems with the bio-father down the road wanting parental rights, but there may be problems with the fact that you knowingly let another man sign the birth certificate, that you know isn't the father. It all depends on the judge, state, lawyer, etc.

Answer 6

Something similar happened to me with my first son.  I had a baby at 19 and the biological father wasn't ready to be a father.  I contacted my lawyer about my fiance adopting him.  They told me that once we were married, it would be much easier.  So, after our wedding, I contacted my baby's biological father who signed something terminating his parental rights.  After that, we began adoption procedures for my husband.  It took about 5-6 months to completely finish the process.  My advice to you is to get a good lawyer to help you out with this.  Good luck!

Answer 7

Yes, you need a DNA test done and you need the biological father's permission. Since you falsified the birth certificate, the father can demand custody 5 or 6 years down the road and win.  Do it the right way.  Contact a lawyer to find out what all needs to be done to at least correct the birth certificate.  Skip the fancy wedding, do a courthouse wedding and focus your money on resolving this issue.

Had you and your fiance chosen to marry before the baby was born, you wouldn't have even had to go through all of this because the baby would have legally been his without anything special as the law recognizes the husband as the father.  Falsifying a birth certificate is fraud.

Answer 8

if u think he is the right man for u then u should

Answer 9

Contact a lawyer and get the facts.  It likely varies state by state.  Plus?  Most of the people on here are maroons.  

Uh, no offense.  I don't mean you.  Or you.  Just that guy over there.

Dude.  Jacob's mommy.  I KNOW the word is MORONS.  Just some salon.com lingo is all.  Moron.  And you have added the possessive 's to moron.   It doesn't belong there.

Answer 10

What is more important a surname in the birth certificate or the love of a father. I, myself, did exactly that and now that we've broken apart she called back the biological father. You will never know what comes next. Nowadays we are in a fight in the court, and she has already made my daughter mind against me. For sure he is taking much more the risk. Justice is almost always for the mothers.

Answer 11

I think it is a great thing that he can love her for who she is and truly care about her well being.  I also think it's GREAT that he is willing to step up in another man's position to take responsibility for a little girl, I think every little girl needs a father figure in her life because it builds there self esteem for the long run.  However, on your part I think you should really question WHY he would like to adopt the baby because people's motives are not always correct. Not to say that his are not, don't be byest and because you love him don't neglect to  take the time to understand what his intentions are for adopting the baby.  Love is a big part of taking care of a baby but love does not take care of all the responsibly that come with having a baby.  I think also it would be a great idea for the men to talk in a room together so that way the real father can hear where your fiancé is coming from. and just because you THINK in your my the real father doesn't care....it does not mean that he does not care.  He just may not know how to respond to this situation especially if he didn't want to have a baby.

Make sure you not guarded and you don't make this about you because your hurt!  If it's about the best interest for the baby then make SURE you are understanding of both parties then everybody will win and the conclusion will end happy with no confusion.

Answer 12

If the father is listed as the biological father on the birth certificate then yes he  would have to sign some papers giving up the child. Basicly he would have to give up all rights as a father in order for you to do so. We had to do this with my adopted brother (he is 4 im 24 i helped my parents) make sure he signs something saying that he can not come back at anytime and try to regain rights to the child. If he gives you a hard time about this tell him "fine, you can keep ur rights to the baby, but ya gotta start paying childsupport" that ougtha change is mind lol

Answer 13

You have a wonderful boyfriend. I totally think that would be cool!

Legally, I have no idea about the biological father, ect.

My sisters friend was born from another father, and her mother got married again, and he adopted her as his own.

That is really cool! If all goes well, you can already have a happy family!

Answer 14

You definitely need to notify the biological father so his parental rights can be terminated.  I'm betting he may welcome this so he knows he won't be on the hook for child support and such.

After that, you should contact an adoption attorney to help you with the process so nothing is missed.  That way you won't have things come back to haunt you later.

Answer 15

Since your fiance's name (fiance imply's intent to marry) is on the birth certificate, legally he *is* your daughter's father. Even if the 'real' father comes back saying he wants her, the courts will look at the birth certificate first and note he's no where on there. That was smart to do :). The only thing I would suggest doing, is contact a lawyer to have a document drawn up for the ex to sign terminating his right as a father (to your daughter). Despite having the fiance's name on the birth certificate - if her biological father returns and persue's this heavily - the only thing standing in your way is a DNA test - however by him willingly terminate his parental rights (or if he refuses, have a court forcefully terminate) you remove this barrier. I would suggest that you be truthful with your daughter that her father 'adopted' her (when she's old enough - and when she get's older you can explain things better - you make the judgement what she can comprehend and understand without devastating her - my youngest sister-in-law is nine (Myself and my husband which are her oldest sister-in-law and brother - are 32 and 33 to give you the age difference - her neices and nephew are closer to her age than her brother and sisters) - she knows who her biological mother is and the reasons she became a member of my husband's family - she's known since the age of six and at nine understands more but at age six she would explain  'My real mommy couldn't take care of me so now I have a better mommy') - it's traumatic to a child to have another man show up claiming the same right and to find out it's true.

Answer 16

Thats great. shows commitment and true love for u.

Answer 17

If he has always been there for the baby and cares for it, let him adopt it.

Answer 18

my mom met my daddy when i was a week old.hes been there every since.he adopted me when they got married when i was 3 and i had no clue he wasnt my biological dad until i was 13.hes paid for school modeling sports hes gone to all my school stuff, gymnastics meets,soccer games track meets softball games.i dont think they did anything to get my spermdoners permission bc my first birth certificate is blank where his name should be.but im not sure.call a lawyer you should be able to get free legal advice

Answer 19

Did you name the father on the birth certificate?  If not, then adoption should be easy enough.  If the father is on the birth certificate, then yes, he needs to give his permission.  But from the sound of things, he would probably be delighted to terminate his parental rights and let you and your fiance raise your baby.

Go see a lawyer to get the paperwork completed.

And as for you, Dalice.... I'm just purple with rage over being called a maroon! :)

Answer 20

Everyone seems to be in agreement about consulting an attorney whose specialty is family law.

The biggest issue you have is the fact that you made a false statement on the birth cirtificate. The only person who actually signs a birth certificate is the attending physician.

You may have to file for an amended certificate with the state and have the child's biological father listed as the father. Not doing so would put you in jeopardy of doing time in jail and SRS coming to take the baby.

Your fiance needs to be applauded for stepping up to be the father your baby will need for guidance as she grows up.

You will need to get her father to sign away all rights to her.

By signing his rights off he can't come back later on and try to take her away from you.

Answer 21

if your fiance' name is already on the birth certificate and not the bio fathers...then your fiance is already the legal father.  You don't need to do anything.  Its as though he already adopted.

Answer 22

Yes,you need the child's biological father's signed permission,but first you must go through the courts to get all the necessary paper work.Not being married to your boyfriend is not going to help matters either.Your boyfriend will have to prove to a judge that he is able both financially and emotionally to adopt your child.The best thing you can do is to talk to a lawyer that specializes in adoptions.Also,the law differs from state to state.The best advice anyone can give you is "see a lawyer"It is a shame that it is so difficult,because it seems that your boyfriend really loves your child.I am sure you will be able to get this done.I wish you all the best.