My boyfriend was fired six months ago, how can I help him?

Question

My new boyfriend was fired from his job as a financial adviser six months ago and has yet to find employment. At first he seemed to be in denial(spending money as if he was still employed), then he stated that he was "hustling" to pay his morgage, but he's more of a square type of guy. Then he borrowed $600 from me( a divorced mother of two) and has yet to pay me back. His affect is very up and down and he doesn't seem to be in reality. On a recent visit to his home I found a notice from the electric company stating he had written them a bad check and a notice from Bank of America stating he was overdrawn. That same week he asked to borrow $1100 to purchase a motorcycle, I refused saying that "I just don't have it". So, I'm not really understanding the male ego here and I don't know what I should do. He of course acts as if everything is fine, while going out of town with his friends. Before he was fired he did have several unemployed friends living with him. What should I do?

Answer 1

Well, if I were you I'd kiss my $600 goodbye since chances of getting that are about nonexistent, kick him to the curb and find a new boyfriend.  This one doesn't sound very promising, especially for a single mom of two kids.

Finding new employment might not be real easy for him, but he obviously isn't doing what he needs to do, to deal with his situation.

Good luck.  You can't save him, look out for yourself and your kids.

Answer 2

Sounds like the bums I listen to on Judge Judy everyday. Ex-girlfriends always suing them for their money.

Answer 3

You can't help him.  He's messed up.  Don't let him borrow any more money.  You'll probably never get that 600 back, so just cut your losses and get out of there.

Answer 4

You can't help people who do not want to help themselves. Your boyfriend sounds like a financial train wreck ...and no, its not male ego because if it was, you, his girlfriend, would be the last person he would be borrowing money from. You don't want a grown baby because that is what you have in your hands. Your bf is gambling with his life, don't let him gamble with yours and your kids livelihood.

What should you do? Dump him. Don't even think of having him stay with you just because he was hosting unemployed friends. Times are hard. Being fired is one thing, living beyond your non existant means is dangerous.

Answer 5

I find the fact that he was a financial advisor pretty ironic.  I guess if this is the way he deals with finances (i.e. borrowing money to buy a motorcycle when he has no job and no income) he should've been fired.  

He's obviously checked out of reality, has no work eithic, and no sense of being a responsible adult.  This is no one for you to date especially when you have 2 children.  They need someone they can look up to.  

You want to do everything you can to help him???  Be brutally honest with him and let him know what his situation looks like from an outsider's viewpoint.  Then tell him goodbye!