My boyfriend won't sleep in the same bed as me. I don't know what to do. ?

Question

My boyfriend won't sleep in the same bed as me in our apartment that we share. He will watch movies with me in bed and then go sleep on the couch. He says it's more comfortable and I kick/steal covers, but it really upsets me to wake up alone. I can't help what I do in my sleep but I don't want to sleep alone forever because of it. What should I do?

Answer 1

Wow. Okay. Very odd.

Get two different blankets or something.

That's weird.  

Answer 2

You should flip it instead of him sleeping on the couch, he could sleep on the bed and you can sleep on the couch. YOU WILL FALL OFF THE COUCH for sure if you move a lot in your sleep, but you will get used to sleeping in a little area that when you move back to the bed, you'll stay in your little area. Only thing that you might not like is sleeping on the couch for a week or so.

Answer 3

stop stealing or kicking the covers. put two covers on the bed and try that. or buy a bigger bed.  

Answer 4

Might be something that he is hiding.  Best thing to do is talk to him about it.  Tell him what you told us.  But don't make it a big deal because in the end, it might just be more comfy on the couch.  In that case, get a bed that he likes.  No more reason to sleep on the couch.

Answer 5

Throw the couch out.  

Answer 6

eat a sinus pill with triptophan in it at bedtime,,, i used to karate fight my wife at night and tear the sheets ito pieces so i sleep across the room 25 years married  

Answer 7

Tell him how you feel.

Answer 8

change the boyfriend. try me

Answer 9

concentrate on your sleep only and you join him watching movies on TV and you can read books also then you may feel sleep

Answer 10

Get him to tell you the truth!!!!! Guys are good at avoiding it.

Answer 11

Perhaps he is afraid that he would hump you in his sleep, without him noticing. This is like to avoid embarassment..  

Answer 12

Thats a stupid excuse-he should restrain you down (ooh s**y) instead of resisting you. Come on, hes a guy and he should know how to handle the wild side of you when it comes to the covers..sleeping or not. big bed or not.....

Answer 13

maybe hes somewhat religious and feels he should wait until you guys are married to actually sleep in the same bed like a married couple.

Answer 14

Come and get you some McLovin.  You can kick and steal my covers all you want.

Answer 15

I think that it almost sounds like his has intimacy issues. I know that sounds silly because I'm sure that you kiss and other things, but being willing to share a space with someone when you are vulnerable is actually more of a big deal than some people think it is. Many people feel it's harmless, but to others there is a huge trust barrier to overcome. Think about it, when you're sleeping you are very vulnerable to the person you are near. Perhaps it could be a trust issue, or even a commitment issue. But I do think it's a sign of some sort of underlying problem.

If you have talked about it and it's started a fight I think you need to take a new approach to speaking with him about it. Instead of being accusatory or upset (which I'm not saying you were necessarily, but may have come across that way). Let him know how you feel. Perhaps you have abandonment issues and don't like to the feeling of being left alone. Maybe waking up by yourself scares you. Let him know how you feel then give him some time to think about it. Guys like to process things and come up for solutions when people they care about are hurting. By giving him space to think about how you feel and in turn how he feels, I think you'll be able to come to a compromise.

Good luck.

Answer 16

Sounds like a cop out to me!  Maybe he's making excuses to get out of sleeping with you?  Maybe he's hitting something else, and his conscience won't let him sleep beside you.?  Just guesses here.   Would help to know you guys age, and if you have a good s*x relationship or not.  If you think he's really sincere about the sleeping situation, then get a king sized bed!  If he can't sleep with you in one of those, then something is wrong with this dude!  

Answer 17

Try this: try sleeping on the couch with limited leg and arm room, with a small cover. Doing this for about a few months to a half a year will help your subconscious mind to adjust to the limited space and not push or pull blankets because there isn't anyone else to grab them from. After that time you can try and see if you've made improvements to the way you sleep, he may comment again positively. If that doesn't work you can get a futon next to your partners couch that folds out, so you can wake up the next morning and still have your habit.

There is also the option of a small sleeping bag in which you can set on the floor beside him every once in a while, supported by a small mattress for your back. You can also get a new couch that allow for him to sleep on one end of the couch and you with a fold out bed. Also try squishing two long couches only slightly apart, but facing each other with seperate blankets. You could also place an extra blanket near him so at night he doesn't have to grab yours, you can also preheat the room so that he doesn't feel cold when you do, suggest that it may be good to dress a little warmer in bed so that he doesn't get cold in case he doesn't have a blanket.

Answer 18

As far as kicking / stealing covers, get a bigger bed if you must. Or at least like, king size blanket on a queen size bed. He may be up to something, but he may also just be telling the truth. See what he thinks about a bigger bed/bigger blankets.