My boyfriend wont speak in front of people...?

Question

Okay, my boyfriend and I are seniors in highschool this coming school year. We both planned to go to college, not even the same one particularly, but planned to further our education. He would be the first in his whole family to finish college and the second to finish highschool. It will be the same for me but I always planned to go. Well now he learned that he has to take speech in college, and in highschool speech it was so easy and lame...he passed that but it was with a d- (his first bad grade) he know college speech will be harder, so he said recently well Im not going. I think thats silly, when hes wanted this so bad. What do I do to help him keep being positive about his dreams, and let him know its now so bad? Also, is it really bad in college I need honest people who have been.

Answer 1

college is not really bad or anything like that. He is hopefully and probably just feeling insecure about the whole thing right now since he had a hard time with speech. guys have a real ego problem too and perhaps he is scared that you feel more secure about going to college than he does. I'm not saying you should worry about that or do anything about it but, just that it is different sometimes when a guy feels like he's done poorly than how a woman feels about it. I would say to give him time to get over it and try to lat him keep his dream alive and not give up on it just because of this one thing. College is not truly any harder than high shcool -- it is more intense and you are expected to be more mature and responsible and not "held by the hand" to get things done but, the courses themselves may not be more difficult than waht you are used to. Also, you generally only take 4 classes at a time so there is less to keep up with as far as all the various subjects go. There is no question that a college education is an incredibly valuable and important and worthwhile thing. There is no easier time to go for it than right out of high school and it will pay off in millions of ways. be patient with him and stroke his ego if he needs it.

Answer 2

College speech isn't usually all that hard either. They grade you the hardest on the written part you hand in on your speech anyways. The actual speaking part is only part of the grade, so if he can write a decent essay he should be fine. There are a lot of people that are terrified of public speaking! Most of my class was. He'll find a lot of people to commiserate with.

Answer 3

People fear public speaking more then death. Suggest he speaks with the school counselor and puts off the speech class until near the end.

Answer 4

Speech in college was a lot like high school. even better because I didn't know any of the people in that class!

If it is a killer for him then remind him- he doesn't have to take it his first semester...wait a semester or two until he feels comfortable being in college to begin with.

Also, there are more than one type of speech class. I also took and personal communication class- that met a speech  requirement- and NO public speaking was done in that class.

So perhaps he has options and won't have to take it.

But either way- he is the one who has to want his dreams. Is a 3 credit hour class really gonna keep him from going to college?

Also, you asked about college. No, it's not bad. You have to do the work assigned. Be sure you learn(ed) in high school HOW to study and HOW to get organized- that will help a lot. But college is like high school in some ways- some people never open a book or study little... other study and work really hard.

You get out what you put into it. Just like most things in this life. Be sure to take a fun class or two- those are the best! Stretch your wings a little and enjoy the experience.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

The college I went to had a special speech class for students who had severe anxiety about public speaking.  The worked on developing tactics for overcoming fear and nervousness in a really supportive, small-class environment.  You may want to to some of the school he was considering and ask them if they offer such a program, then give the details to your BF.  My school was just a regular state school, so I am guessing most colleges offer this sort of thing.

And no, college is not bad at all.  I actually think most of my high school classes were more difficult than the college ones.  Plus, in college, you get to choose a lot more classes based on your real interests, and not just what your school board has decided is best for you.  It is a lot more fun to go to classes that interest you!  

You just have to stay organized and make sure you attend classes.  The people I have heard complaining about college are usually pretty lazy and skip class more than they should.  I'm not the most organized person in the world at all, and I still did OK, but you just can't party all of the time, sleep in late, and expect to cram in all of your work at the last minute.

Answer 6

hmmm.

maybe he needs to keep practicing his speeches.

when im giving speeches, its not all that good- the truth is, some poeple just dont like to speak in front of people in that way. its like a drama lesson- its all about coming out of your comfort zone-

what i do is imagine im in a drama performance and that usually helps me to give my best speech.

if not, then your bf will just have to try and overcome this 'fear' by doing speeches in highschool BUT....

dont put on any pressure, i think this is the worst thing- your bf will overcome this fear eventually, and if not, then support him but dont put on TOO MUCH pressure,

x-

hope i helped

Answer 7

when we grow self concience grows too, then when we mature it kind of settles, when u dont feel secure of urself u cant speak in fron of others, u need proper training and this kind of ability will help you through your entire life. Join to some group where you can learn talk in public together u wont regret

Answer 8

It sounds like the problem might not even be speech class, but a fear of going to college. It's completely normal to be terrified to go--especially if you're the first. The fear of failure is HUGE, but if you relax, do what you need to do, and make sure to let your professors know if you are struggling right away, they tend to be really accommodating, in my experience. I chose to go to a small liberal arts college and it was perfect for me because of the small class sizes (anywhere from 3-40 students) and it allowed me the opportunity to get to know my professors really well. If he's honest and up front and if he wants to succeed, he will. If he has it set in his mind that he will fail it, he most definitely will fail. Speech is not a requirement at all colleges--it wasn't at mine. I took speech classes anyway and I didn't think they were that bad. Plus, it's one class for one semester. And it's not like it meets every day!

If he thinks schools are too expensive, many private schools offer private scholarships to interested students--I attended a college that was over $30,000 a year to go, and I ended up getting 15,000 a year in scholarships alone, and then you can always get grants and loans to cover the rest, as well as sometimes getting better scholarships directly from the college. It's worth looking into.

I remember being scared beyond belief my senior year of high school and it's perfectly natural. Everyone deals with it differently, and it's ultimately his choice--he hasn't even gotten in anywhere yet, so I'd recommend waiting to see where he can get into before freaking out about a speech class that he might not even need to take.