My boyfriends ,ex girlfriend signed her rights to the baby away 2 years ago, and he didnt sign his away....?

Question

My boyfriends, ex girlfriend got pregnant and had a baby and she gave her baby up for adoption and he never sign any rights away...is it possiable to get his baby. if he never signed the rights away...?

Answer 1

Depending upon where you live...the laws say various things.

If this was a one night stand, and he has no intentions of getting this baby, then he should leave well enough alone.

He should be thankful that the kid has two parents who love it very much, and he should let them be at peace with their child.

As far as a DNA test...he better be willing to shell out the cash, because they are not cheap. And besides, what will it prove?

Let go of the past. He knew the consequences of having s*x. He knew there was chance that he could get her pregnant. He also knew she was a no good bum when he slept with her. Those are the consequences he must deal with.

He should just let the kid live the life that the adopted parents will give it. Be happy for the kid, whether it is his or not. It is not with the mother, so it actually has a chance at a decent life.

Go forward. Stop worrying about the past. Life is too short.

This kid has lived with its parents for two years now. It has a stable environment. Don't interfere.

Answer 2

Why is this an issue two years later?  Don't disrupt that baby's life just because he decides two years after birth that he wants to be the father.

Answer 3

He can file an intervention through an attorney and contest the adoption.  But then he needs to be prepared to prove he is the birthfather, and want to seek full time custody of the baby.

Otherwise, it is a waste of everyones time, emotion, security and money.

He will need to pay for the paternity testing and attorney, (probably minimum $1000).

Then if he is the bio dad, he will have to get a Homestudy done by a Social Worker ($400-900).  If he is approved, he will be considered for full time custody -- up to the judge or jury.  They will look into his stability on the job, his home, his background including criminal, drug/alcohol use, references, who will care for the child while he works, his finances, etc.  And they may make HIM pay for foster care while the adoptive parents care for the child while the case is being fought in court -- which often takes one to two years.  And, he may be ordered by the judge to pay child support, go to counseling, or go to visit with the child, even if she lives in another state.  

But he needs to SERIOUSLY think about the best interest of the child.  Chances are, this child is loved, secure, stable and happy.  Does he want to disrupt that?

Also, FYI, he is telling YOU he did not sign anything.  But did they contact him, and he just ignored the paperwork?  That is a legal basis for terminating his rights.  You just might not have all the details, or maybe you do.  Just a thought.

Answer 4

This is hard because you have to look at it two ways, one the child doesn't know him and is settled in with new parents and it may upset the child if your boyfriend starts the whole dna process.

But on the other hand he was never given a choice and that's just wrong.  He has the right to know and what he does from there is up to him.  Maybe he could find out and then just visit the child on weekends.  From what you said chances are that it's not his child any way.  I don't know how she got the child adopted without his consent.  I don't think that's legal unless maybe she told them she didn't know who the father is.  She probably doesn't.  For all you know there may be more than just your boy friend thinking this child is his.  There could be many more.  Sounds to me like the ex is childish and doesn't really know who the father is.  Just think of the child in this case because it would be very hard on the child I would think.  I was adopted and I know if when I was little some guy came up to me and said he was my father I'd be very confused.  This is a very hard place to be in.

Answer 5

i would think so,he needs to contact a lawyer.

Answer 6

I don't get how he got his ex-gf pregnant and she signed her rights away 2 years ago, but you and him have been trying to have a baby for 4 years - do you really want to bring that child into this mess?  Leave the baby be - he obviously did not want anything to do with her for at least 2 years, why bother her now?

Answer 7

It's possible, but not necessarily likely. He will need to hire an attorney and contest the adoption and  he will need to have grounds for contestation within the various statutes of limitations for putative father registry or acknowledgment of paternity according to state laws. Additionally the judge can decide it is not in the child's best interests to be removed from the adoptive family, and best interests trumps all other arguments in such cases.

Did he get on the state's putative father registry or in any way attempt to acknowledge paternity within a few months of the birth?

Answer 8

it is, but dont do that the baby has already been put in anew home right? way take the baby away froma family who really wanted one and who have probibly grown attached to it thats not fair.

Answer 9

Partly depends on if she listed him as the father on the baby's birth certificate.  If she did, it might be easier to fight for the child.  If not, then you have a legal battle to give the courts enough evidence to give grounds for a paternity test.  It also is gonna depend on if the child has beem adopted or is in the foster care system.  But if he is truly concerned about what is best for the child, expecially if the baby has been loved and cared for another family for two years, then he should consider leaving well enough alone and maybe get visitation or something to that effect.  Trying to remove the child from the only family it has known may mess it up for life.

Answer 10

First of all, that was 2 years ago. And your boyfriend just now is interested?

Something tells me he's not the interested one - it's you, butting in.

He was absent in the child and mother's lives when the baby was born, and if they couldn't find him (or he failed to appear in court) he lost his rights as a father. Let this be a lesson to you - use protection with this loser!

Answer 11

If he is really interested in parenting this child, he needs to talk to an attorney.  In some states, for a mother to sign her rights away she needs to identify any possible fathers and they would need to be notified of the procedings.  In other states, there is a registry where men need to enroll if they think they have fathered a child and want to be notified.  Regardless, there is usually a set time frame that dad has to come forward, or he is found to be absent, neglectful and in default.  If it's been two years, the child is already with a new family and you'd have a hard time finding a judge that would call it 'the child's best interests' to be removed from that family.

Answer 12

it doesn't matter now, the baby was given up over 2 years ago and his rights were taken away after a 30day to 6month grace period (depending on your state) ... it doesn't matter if she slept around a lot or not ... it's really not your business ... as for your b/f ... well if he fought for the baby he would disrupt it's life and all the adjustment time she has had with her new family.  if he doesn't believe its his, let it go and don't think about it.

it takes 2 to make a baby just because it took you two 4 years doesn't mean he or you can't make one with someone else in less time.

Answer 13

It depends on the state.  It is likely that she either lied about who the father was or his consent isn't required.

He would have to consult a lawyer.

Answer 14

Yes he needs to get a DNA test to prove he is the father.  If he is indeed the father and didn't sign his rights away and wasn't informed of the adoption then the adoption is void and he can legally get his child back.

Answer 15

She shouldn’t have been able to put the baby up for adoption with out the fathers consent. I suppose she may have listed father unknown. I’m a bit confused did he just find out that this could be his child ,or is this something he has always known but only now is wanting to find out ? If it is his child, and he didn’t sign his right away yes he could attempt to get her back and would likely be successfully. Do I think it would be the best thing to yank a 2 year old child away from the only family she has ever known absolutely not.  If he has no plans to go after custody he should just let it go.

It only takes one time, just because it took you all 4 years to get pregnant does not mean that your boyfriend could not have knocked up some other woman , the one and only time he slept with her.

I’m also a bit confused this was his ex girlfriend but he only slept with her once? Wouldn’t that more be a one night stand? You say it took you all 4years to get pregnant, and this child is 2 years old, so is that saying he  cheated on you with this other woman.

Answer 16

I suggest contacting an attorney.  For the adoption to be legal, both parents need to terminate their parental rights.  I would hesitate trying to get involved with the adoptive family until you speak to an attorney.  There is no reason to turn their world into a roller coaster and give them unnecessary fears (they have loved this child for 2 years) until you speak with an attorney to know what your rights are.  

Good luck to you.