My boyfriends father died, what can I do to help them cope?

Question

I've never had to deal with the death of a loved one. And on tuesday, my loved one lost his father. Its so hard seeing my boyfriend like that. I really want to help them cope, or do something nice for his family, i already got cards and flowers, but what can I do? Its so hard, and any advice will help.

Answer 1

am so sorry=(  just be there for him try to cheer him up to get his mind of it but if he cant just tell him u will always be there no matter what

Answer 2

Be available for him and let him know that if he needs to talk about anything that you'll have open ears and will actively sit down and listen to him. Sometimes simply talking can really help someone cope with a bad situation.

Answer 3

Let the family know that you are there for them.  Maybe you can offer to pick relative up from the airport/train or bus terminals.  Or maybe you could prepare a few dishes that they can have around the house.  Maybe offer to help those who have young children to take some of the stress off of the family.  How about offering to do the thank you notes that people oftentimes send out.  These are just a few suggestions, and I am sorry for your boyfriend's loss.

Answer 4

tell your boyfriend he can call you whenever he needs to talk - even if it's in the middle of the night. Next time you see him, just give him a warm long hug, if he starts crying just hold him, don't try to quiet him, just let him cry sometimes a release is the best thing, he probably doesn't feel comfortable enough to do that with anyone else right now because they are requiring him to be strong. Tell him he doesn't have to be strong all the time.

Answer 5

Wow thats gotta be tough on your guy...be there for him in a anyway possible if wants to be alone let him be alone if he wants a shoulder to cry you be that shoulder.... just ask his family if they need anything if they want you to make all of them dinner or if you could walk their dog or if there are youngsters in the family that you could watch for a while. just asking if they need something shows that you care

Answer 6

unfortun. you can't do any thing helping will just make things worse just give him some time  just let him know you care

Answer 7

this may sound...bad but uhhh give him what he wants

u know...*winkwink

Answer 8

Omg, first of all i am so sorry, um maybe at first you can give him some space. but you can also ask him "if you ever need anything i am always there for you and i will always try to help you". that the best thing you can say. again i am so sorry. hope i helped

Answer 9

Dont bring up the topic around him

just try to cheer him up and get his mind off it

and if he doesnt stop thinking about it support him and give him nice long hugs

tell him you love him and you will always be there for him

Answer 10

It's traditional to bring the family of a loved one or friend a meal or some food or drink that they can share, so that they don't have to go out to the grocery store while they're greiving.  If you're a good cook, you can make them a casserole or salad or something the family can share--especially if you know their tastes, it will help solidify your relationship in the family.  You can make yourself available to do errands for your boyfriend's family, and even do a load of laundry or look after younger siblings for the mother, who is probably inundated by well-wishers and relatives coming in from out of town.  Keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities to do practical things to help the family get by.

Answer 11

Try to find the "The Dash Poem" for your boyfriend. And just so you know, there isn't much that can be said. One of your answers suggested food.... My daughter died and one of the nicest things our neighbors and friends did was bring food so we didn't have to worry about cooking.

Answer 12

Just be there for your man and maybe bring a meal over for his mom something like a cassarol or something...grieving people often forget to take care of themself and just giving them time is the most important ...be a shoulder or a ear and dont take there anger personal.

There is no answer to why things happen you cant explain it or say you understand but remind him your there and will keep being there.

Also you can pray with or for the family that is a very strong support an comfort.

You seem to care so you will help him get threw it good luck to you and god bless.

Answer 13

All you can do is be there for him.  Don't tell them you understand if you don't.  Just be there, offer physical comfort.. hugs, kisses, whatever.  And if he, or anyone else, chooses to talk, listen kindly and offer whatever kind words and memories you might have.  Just validate their feelings.

I'm speaking from experience... Five years ago my husband (bf at the time) lost his father who was just 44 to cancer.  It's an akward situation, but you just do whatever feels right and support him best as you can.  Best of luck to you all and condolences to your boyfriend.