My boyfriends mom gets on my nerves!! help!!

Question

Lately I've been having really big arguments with my boyfriend because of his mom...its getting really bad.. shes really nosy and wants to know everything that happens in my boyfriends and I's relationship. She calls him at least 30 times a day when i hanging out with him the dumb random reasons..like to tell him things shes watching on T.V or gossip?!!! every time me and my boyfriend are having a fight she walks into the room and asks whats wrong!? wtf..? She's a single mom of 5 kids ( 2 of which are under the age of 5 and my bf practically supports) with 3 different baby's daddy's that doesn't work and gets supported by welfare.. ive been with my bf for over 1 year now.. this just barely started happening within the last 2 months.. ive had talks with my bf and we decided to start saving money to move out on our own and when we told her, she cried to my bf and told him she needed him to stay and told him if he didnt stay she wouldnt be able to support all her kids?!! wtf.. my bf is her son! NOT HER HUSBAND!

Answer 1

how sad really...the son needs a life too..it wasn't his fault for her situation..best to you and bf

Answer 2

What is your question?  Is he the oldest of the children?  Sounds like she wants him to be the 'man of the house,'  because there is no father figure in the picture.  If he is a responsible person, she probably just wants someone for her other younger children to look up to.  Not saying it's cool or anything, but some parents have a harder time disconnecting from their kids than others.  Give her a break.  If you guys are of legal age, you will do whatever you want regardless of what she wants.  

Answer 3

My advice is to talk to her. have you ever seen the movie, monster in law? If you two are planning on staying together or even getting married, you might want to stop this before it gets out of control.

my advice is to talk to her about it.

Answer 4

There is no easy way of telling you this but at the moment you`r just a girlfriend and his mum gave birth to him. but if you stick with him if you really love him it is worth playing the waiting game... here is how i did it don`t get angry and shout it just makes you look bad get upset cry if you can say you love him and don`t want to lose him . ignore her i think she may be showing you who`s boss, but if your clever and show him how good things can be with you. In time he will or probley already is fed up himself .. there is things you can do she carn`t ( if you know what i mean)

Answer 5

if your b/f doesn't do something right now, it's going to be worse when she becomes your mother-in-law.

Answer 6

Oh, brother.  

I feel your pain.  My ex-boyfriend's mother was a b*tch with a capital B.   She was NOT a nice person...racist, selfish, controlling, materialistic, shallow, judgemental, and egotistical.  My ex was a complete mama's boy.   He inherited a lot of her bad qualities.  

I don't know how old you are, but you need to talk to your boyfriend about this.   Do not say anything unkind about his mother but let him know that this is a problem.   She clearly has difficulty with letting him grow up.   She is codependent and has an unhealthy relationship with him.  It is not his responsibility to support her children.  

You can either find a way to work this out or you can be miserable.  You can cut him loose or you can try to come up with a solution.  I wish you luck.  

Answer 7

wow it seems to be just about you. did you ever think of his little siblings and that he might need to be there for them . he may not like his mother but he needs to stick around as the older brother and you guys moving out isnt gonna solve anything she is always gonna be his mother and what if u 2 work out and get married and have kids ? work things out with his mom even if it kills you remember to kill her with kindness she wont expect it and have him tell his mother when u guys r fighting to please leave and let you 2 work things out. dont say anything to her its disrespectful have him say it and if he doenst he isnt man enough  

Answer 8

I'm sorry to hear that, i love my bf's mom she loves me too. His whole family does actually, my mom is the one that doesnt like my bf lol she gets on my nerves

Answer 9

Just to let you know...if your bf doesn't stop it now, he isn't going to stand up to it later...he will always let her interfere in your relationship and he will always put her over you and your family. It is best to know that once a mammas boy always a mammas boy....so you can decide if this is the life you want long term.  

Answer 10

Well then maybe she should of thought about that before she had those kids, right? This must be hard for your BF too thought having to leave his mom because she can't mind her own business? Sounds uff. But just ignore her she'll get the point.

Answer 11

girl let me tell u now nothing will help until ur boyfriend sits down with his mother and sets her straight .that he is an adult and he needs to take care of his family without interferance from her not in a mean way im sure he still needs her help in some ways but he has to man up and put his foot down and let her know how important u r to him and that u deserve the same respect that she wants for herself. other wise when he's in his 40s still be a momma's boy/good luck

Answer 12

I have actually been in almost this exact situation before. Sadly enough there is really nothing you can do. If your BF loves his siblings like I do. He probably wont move. My suggestion is do what I did. Put your head down and work your *** off so you can support moving out and helping to take care of them at the same time.

It's not fair but my brothers growing up with as good a child hood as they can have is more important than what was "Fair" to me.

Also you are only given one mother. One father and one set of siblings, no ones perfect. Sit her down and try and reason with her, but get used to the fact you will be staying.  

Answer 13

Just think of how much worse it would be if she were your mother in law......

Answer 14

Oh man do i know the feeling!! I have an interfering mother of boyfriend too. And do you know what,im gonna be blunt cus i know how annoying it is, but all you can do is deal with it and try and block it out. I tried talking to him about it and he got so upset....dont do the same hunni its not worth the hassle cus he will always be loyal to his mum. Grin and bare it...moan about it to your friends and family but not to him because it isnt fair.