My boyfriends son likes to sleep with him....?

Question

He is divorced and gets his kids every other weekend for visitation. (two girls, 8and6 and one boy-5)I know he was very close to them especially his 5 year old son. When they come over the son wants to sleep with his dad, and his dad allows it but also wants to sleep in the same bed as me. I don't think that's appropriate. For one at five he should start sleeping in his own bed, and secondly the ex-wife would have a s***fit as she doesn't even like when the kids mention my name. I have told him before and he agrees but gives in to the kids...any advise??

Answer 1

Why should he be sleeping in his own bed? Cuz you say so? Cuz some book says so?  It's really not a big deal and if you're uncomfortable with it, ride the couch while he's there.  

He was there first.

Answer 2

honey,before you married if u intend to, you suppose to talk to your boyfriend  about anything you dislike . i know what you feeling since my husband daughter come to live with us she wants to pup ups anytime in the morning ,so  no morning s*x, no morning cuddle.i didn't discuss that with my husband but he can see i wasn't happy with that the way i react when she come in our roomearly in the morning.

Answer 3

The son sounds like he is very insecure  and the dad shouldn't be having overnight sleep overs with any women it  doesn't look right and the kids learn that this is morally ok when it's the wrong thing to teach them. I don't blame the mother for raising a s**t fit.His kids will always come first and if you can't deal with that or the ex then move on. sorry - just stating the facts- most people come with some sort of baggage.

Answer 4

I think it is great that he's close to his kids and there is NOTHING wrong with letting them snuggle up with their daddy on visitation nights.  A five year old should be able to sleep on his own, but dad visits are special and if it is 8 extra hours of closeness to a father who is largely absent from his daily life, I say HORRAY! for them.

I think it is very very wrong that you be in the bed.  You are the one that doesn't belong because you are not married nor their mother.  They are family, you are not.  It is a terrible example to set for the kids and when those girls get to be pregnant teens, you'll know where they learned their morals from.

Answer 5

I agree with you.  It is not appropriate to have the child in bed with you and your boyfriend.  I feel sorry for the little boy.  Could you sleep somewhere else when the children are visiting?  Or maybe your boyfriend and his son could camp out in the living room?  It might be fun for the child to put a mattress on the floor and share it with his father.  He is very young and deserves some understanding on your part.  Please be kind to him.

Answer 6

I grew up just like that, only seeing my dad every other weekend. As I didn't see him that often I used to curl up next to him while he told me funny stories and that's how I fell asleep.

It didn't mean I couldn't sleep on my own it was just fun having dad around for awhile. So could this be the case?

As far as the ex-wife goes, you'll be around wether she'll like it or not. Try not to talk bad about her in front of the children. They will remember when they grow up. Trust me! My mum never said a bad word about my dad, but my dad would talk about my mum in ways children shouldn't hear. Didn't think about it when I was young but now that I'm older it bothers me