My bright 8 year old child refuses to do her class work & the Teacher does not make her...?

Question

So, my daughter is very smart, she reads high school & college level books. We are having her tested for being gifted. HOWEVER-she flat refuses to do class work these last few weeks & nothing is helping! We have grounded, spanked, and punished but nothing is working!

She is failing this last six weeks! Prior to this the teacher has been allowing her extra time to finish & we put a stop to that. She doesn't need the extra time, she can do it with everyone else.

How do I motivate this child? I am at a total loss. Other than this she is a wonderfull child. She is just so freaking stubborn!!!

Answer 1

My daughter got all 'A's last year but she had to do the work! at school and her homework, she is in yr 5. So why are you having her tested at being gifted so young?  Isn't she only 8!  My advice is to let her fit in with the other kids, make her way and worry about her being gifted later. Mine got picked on in year 3 beacause of her spelling and reading ability. So I asked for her to go to a grade 4 with clever kids, they did....she is stilll up there.

Answer 2

if she was bright she would do her work duh

oh we dont care bout your kid

wasting tax payers well earnt money

how will you get her tested if she wont do the test duhhhhhhhh

id throttle my kid if he refused to do his work, then again he wouldnt as hes being brought up well

i blame the parents me self

Answer 3

Pull her out of that school and get her into a school that will challenge her! It isn't the child who is the problem its the school and/or the teacher.

She probably doesnt want to do the easy work the rest of the class is doing.

Answer 4

I have to agree with macca.  I was a gifted stuudent in school and i would get so bored during class.  I usually would find something to do and tune out my teachers.  I mean, when you understand something the first time you do it, it's pretty boring to sit through several lessons on the same thing until everyone understands.  Maybe the teacher could give her some more challenging problems to do while the rest of the class catches up.  Once she is put in a gifted program, the problem may clear up.

Answer 5

Why does she need to do the class work?  Is it going to help her to learn the material being presented?  Or, does she already know it & it's just busy work for her?  

If it's just busy work, can she be given something more meaningful for her to work on?  Something that will either be interesting for her or that will help her to learn something new & different?

Of course, she does need to learn to politely do as she's asked to do by her superiors.  And, to not make extra work for her teachers (or for anyone), if it's not necessary.  And, to keep from being distracting or rude to others.  

Perhaps if you asked her to do her work for these reasons - to be polite & respectful to her teachers & classmates, then she might be more willing to do it when it's presented to her.  

You say that she's failing these past six weeks.  Is she failing because she's not learning?  Or, is it because she's not turning in work that has no purpose for her, anyway?  

Your daughter sounds exactly like my 8yo son.  We're going through the same thing with him.  We're working together with the school to try to get him back on track, finding a balance between 'do the work because the teachers work hard to come up with a lesson plan for you and all of your classmates' and 'how about we figure out a way to present the lessons to you, personally, in a way that motivates you & keeps your mind engaged'.  It's a long process, but, for him, just recently, we've found that if he is given work to do on his own, as opposed to a group project, he seems to do better.  

Involve your child in recognizing the problems and finding solutions.  Treat her with respect and ask her to treat her teachers (and the hard job that they are doing for everyone) with respect, too.   And, keep on researching & working together with her, her teachers & school support staff, to make her school years useful for her.

Cute poem for you here: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/gifted_seus...

Somewhere out there on the internet (and I'm looking for it right now, but can't find it) is a little story that might put your child's current stubbornness in perspective for you.  It says something like:

Imagine you, right now, with all of the knowledge you have as an adult, were put into a first grade classroom & asked to quietly sit & do the first grade worksheets put in front of you all day long.  

The first few days, you would do it & would come up with polite ways to occupy yourself otherwise, when done with the work.  But, after a while, after weeks or months, you would probably start to rebel, daydreaming, refusing to do the work, acting out - everyone's different in how they react, but very few would continue to simply do the first grade worksheets, day after day, without going a little crazy.  

Your daughter's just dealing with this in whatever way she's figured out how to deal with it.  It may not be the most effective or polite way to deal with it, but, hey, she's only a kid - it's our job as adults to help them learn how to deal with things in life, right?  So, in the absence of anyone guiding her towards a polite, effective solution to this problem she's having (and, you probably didn't even know she was having this problem), she came up with her own plan (conciously or unconciously).  Now that the adults see the problem & see that her plan isn't working, you just need to guide her to a better solution.

Answer 6

She is not being challenged according to her level.  I agree with the educator.  Talk to the teacher and ask her to give her more challenging class work to do.  Also, have you actually sat your daughter down to ask her what is it exactly that is wrong with her?  You may want to ask specific questions other than just asking her "what is wrong" because kids have a tendency to say "nothing is wrong" and think that is a valid answer.  I always ask my kid if he got homework, what kind of home work and can he describe it, or I asked him how was his day I will ask him who he played with, where they nice and what did he eat, etc, etc.  Be specific with her to get her to open up to you.  The answer may surprise you.  Oh, do it in a relaxed atmosphere and with a very sweet voice and see if she will open up to you.

Answer 7

Make sure everything has been done by the teacher that she possibly can. First off, is your daughter going to recess, gym, music or other activities outside the classroom if her work isn't done? They should have her stay in the classroom until her work is done, except for lunch and bathroom. In my son's school, they have what they call a "team room". It's for children that are being disruptive mostly, but they also have kids catch up on work in there. They even bring their lunch in. I don't know why your child isn't doing the work, so it's difficult to know what would help. Perhaps all unfinished work should be brought home and no privileges until each day's allotment is finished. I hope something works! I have a stubborn 8 year old as well.

Answer 8

Well the teacher can't make her.

She can try, but can you sit in one day, take a day off of work and sit in.

Do you discipline her?

Send her to private school if you can afford it.

If she is truly that gifted, college level (??), she doesn not belong in the 2nd or 3rd grade, they usually pass children on a bit if they are that ahead.

Can you imagine reading the great gatsby, and your class is reading "See Jane Run"

Are you kidding me, I wouldn't even go to class!

They can't take her gym and music away, that is built into the ciriculum because it is necessary.

She needs some discipline! Harsh, maybe make her miss a child's birthday party, or an upcoming even that she is really looking forward to, you have to take something that is important to her.

She's failing, I don't know, scratch the discipline...something may be wrong, try counseling, this is sudden?

Are kids men to her? The teacher? Maybe she is trying to get herself isolated from the class.

Sit in, take a day off, sit in, have your mom, do the same, her dad, his mom, make sure she isn't being bullied.

Answer 9

Your daughter is experiencing the problems usually experienced by gifted children - she's bored!  You should get yourself some information, read some book on the subject.  i'm an educator, and i know what i'm talking about - trust me.  you could talk to her teacher and she might give her differentiated work, which is at her level.  good luck