My brother has XXY and it affects my life greatly.?

Question

I don't want to sound selfish with this but please read this:

So my younger brother is not yet 10 but he has XXY. It's a chromosome disorder, in which he has a bonus chromosome. This results in numerous problems. He had speech delays, he still has some learning disabilities,infertility,social problems, ADHD, and he has some temper/jealousy issues when it comes to me...

Since I'm his big sister by a few years, I always try not to pick fights with him. I just say "okay bud" and walk away. it's embarassing though because sometime's in public he makes big scenes about how he wants something or he is mad about something. if he wants a piece of gum he'll shout for it, and not even realize we are in a very silent place, and this creates an embarassing situation. He also cries in public and gets aggressive, with me in particular. I try to be the bigger person but occasionally i'll yell back, "shut up!" my mom gets very mad at me.

She tells me, "he has problems. you need to be the bigger person and grow up." When she tells me this, I feel like crying. I feel like I'm acting immature, I feel embarassed for flipping out. I feel bad for my brother and sadly, myself. I don't know how to deal with this situation anymore. I feel depressed. Not to mention, my parents put a lot of stress on me to do well in school. They focus on me, like I'm their only chance. I feel so much pressure to be perfectly mature at my tender age of 14. I feel like they want me to suddenly take on a 30 year old's body & act that way. It's a horrible feeling.

I feel horrible for my brother. I know he struggles in school; in particular making new friends, and keeping focused to get good grades. yet I wish there was a way that my parents wouldn't 'baby' him quite as much, and 'beat' me up emotionally.

thanks for reading. i appreciate any answers.

Answer 1

it affects the whole family

just hang in there

Answer 2

Your situation is quite the predicament. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. My little sister was the ''smart one'' getting straight A's since she was in 1st grade to freshmen year. Eventually the pressure got to her and she started taking drugs to allievate the stress. Now she is in some rehab in Utah and I will unfortunately not be able to see her for another year or even more. So I speak from personal experience don't put so much stress on yourself. Try to achieve your goals for what you are capable of doing.

It's sad to see your brother has a mental disorder. My friend has a younger brother like you and she's the older one. She is a very happy person and she deals with her brother with love and caring. I honestly don't know how she does it, he comes in her room and starts asking for attention and random things cause he's jealous of her relationship with me. And probably thinks I'm stealing her away from her. This annoys me but she just gets up and does whatever the little kid asks for.

Just remember that you were the lucky one to turn out ''normal'' and that it is your responsiblity to help your young brother. I'm pretty sure if it was the other way around you would want your brother to help you if you had the extra chromosome. Just treat him with love and care and try not to think so much about what other people think about you when he creates commotions :D Good Luck!

Answer 3

Hang on :[  

Answer 4

www.XXYTalk.com is the support site I belong to; it is for Klinefelter Syndrome (me) and other men & women who have those extra chromosomes.  It is loaded with info, reference sites, support personnel, and loads of people around the world offering support.  You may even find a support group in your area through this site.  Further, you can chat with me, if you want.

Answer 5

Your mom ought to cut you some slack.  It's a hard situation, and of course you will lose your cool now and again.  Just try to talk to your mom about it, and tell her that it is hard for you too.  Maybe you should suggest a new tradition, where you and your mom could go out for lunch on Saturdays, or go shopping together.  In 4 years, you'll be able to go off to college (or out into the world) and this particular pressure will be much less.  Good luck.

Answer 6

Print your question out and give it to your mom at a good quiet time. You laid out well your issues and problems, and hopefully your mother will better understand what is really going on. Good luck.  

Answer 7

dont keep that to urself , u have to talk to ur mom , and tell her u arent feeling good with the way they r threatening u , and with ur brother the best thing u can do is to get along with him

Answer 8

Wow it sounds like you're going through a lot.  But you are not alone.  Many people who have sibilings with special needs feel just the same way you do.  All the attention and focus is usually given to the special need child and living with someone who has special needs is very draining.  You need to see if there are any support groups that you can attend for teens or family members of persons with special needs.  Also are your parents getting any help with learning how to discipline a special needs child?

Answer 9

The technical term is Kilnithelter's syndrome or something like that. But I feel horrible for that kid, must be horrible to have that disease. Don't pick fights with him or make fun of him, have sympathy, I mean no wonder he has a temper, he must be somewhat if not seriously depressed. That's sad.