My brother in Iraq has stopped contacting me?

Question

I have a brother serving in Iraq and he has stopped all contact with me. I'm worried enough already about him. I used to talk on Skype but his wife got jealous and put a stop to that. I send him emails that go unanswered and he has really disappeared. This is really bothering me emotionally because we were so close before he left and he is talking to people he normally doesn't even talk to at home. Could he be going through something bad or what would it be? Anyone who has served or any military people I would love to hear from because I am sad and clueless! I followed all the rules by being positive when I talked to him.

Answer 1

Keep it up. Keep sending him letters like nothing has happened. Iraq is a scary place and nobody comes back normal after that. Be patient and understanding. Just getting the letters will tell him that you care.

Answer 2

I'm in Iraq right now. Depending on the part of the country he's in, it's been pretty quiet for a while, so I don't think you have any physical danger to worry about. I can't give you advice on coaxing him to talk to you, but I can tell you that if you are really worried about him, you could send a Red Cross message through his unit. Your local chapter of the Red Cross or their website can help you.

Answer 3

There could be several reasons.  Every time a soldier is killed they shut down all communications on the bases for several days to prevent the family from finding out about it indirectly through Friends or others, (i.e. say they are in the supermarket and somebody from the unit says, did you hear about PFC joe, and PFC joe just happens to be their spouse and they didn't know, pretty crappy to hear that way right?)  Also, the obvious, missions missions, they come up without warning, sometimes you maybe gone for days, weeks.  Also, he may just be in a bad spot right now, maybe saw some bad things or just suffering from some type of depression (not uncommon, we're not all as tough as we'd like to think, your psyche is human)  He may not want to worry you with his worries and keep you safe from worrying even more.  Emotional withdrawal is part of Early signs of PTSD as well, it's certainly possible that all or one of these is causing this.  It is tough being over there and trying to get time to go to phones, email (they are ALWAYS super packed)  and you have your requirements to maintain equipment, yourself with the little downtime you have.  It's not that he doesnt love you or not want to communicate.  Please understand that he doesnt want you to be stressed out, it's the last thing he wants, so do this for him.  Listen to him when he does communicate, see where he's at, let him vent, don't overdo the positive, it may come off to obvious.  Hope this helps you and god bless you and him and i'll pray for his safe return!

Mark Brogan

CPT, AR

Answer 4

He may just be stressed out or tired.

You never know.

Best thing to do is to keep trying to make contact with him, and if that doesn't work, just wait. I'm pretty sure he'll call you eventually.

Answer 5

just give it some time, he will come back around. Iraq is a very busy place for soldiers, so he could be busy with his duty. About talking to other people, maybe he is trying to backtrack on the missed phone calls and such the he for got to do from the start. Tell the wife to back off a lil, your his sister, not a former g/f or ex wife, she should not be upset that you and your brother talk alot. She should be grateful that you care for him, and support him. Try to get together with her and put together some care packages for him. Work together with her not against each other.  

Answer 6

if you want, i cant try e-mailing him or something.

keep e-mailing him, and tell him how you feel that he isnt talking. then start making things bigger, like, did you get shot or something? cuz i dont know anymore, so help.

Answer 7

Tell his wife to **** up a tree!

Answer 8

Why would his wife be jealous of her husbands sister? there must be some issues btwn you and her. I would say talk to her and keep up the emails and stuff. he also may be busy. give him a few more days