My brother in law keeps hitting on me

Question

My brother in law keeps hitting on me and i am not sure if i should tell my sister about it. I am not planning on doing anything with him or taking it anywhere. I am married with 3 girls. I just want it too stop cause we are both married and i don't want to lead him on or others to get the wrong impression. I am happily married.

Answer 1

You are the only one who can put a stop to this. Tell him to knock it off. Unless you are too passive or in some little way, like the attention. Its not fare to ur sister who married a looser.

Answer 2

kick him in his nuts and walk away to your mom and dad and sister but if he wont stop tell the police

they are good people.... trust me =)

Answer 3

My advice is that you should tell him enough is enough. Tell him that he is behaving inappropriately and that you regret not saying something sooner. Tell him that you don't appreciate his disrespect towards your sister and their unborn child. As well as towards you

and your family.

What a jerk your bro in law is ! But what is up with you? I am sooooo shocked that you have not put a stop to it sooner.

If he is hitting on you, I would put money on the fact that he has probably hit on other women in the past and he most likely will again in the future. If he's not already.

If it were me, I would tell him that my sister and I have always shared everything and that I have debated on sharing this information with her as well as my husband.

I would look him straight in the eyes and tell him. If he thinks his behavior is okay then he better think again. And If he knows whats best for him he best get his priorities straight now or move on!

I don't think right now is the best time to tell your sister but you should tell him that when the time is right you are going to inform her of everything. Hopefully he will break up with her on his own so you don;t have to tell her first.

I feel strongly that you should tell your sister after she gets situated with the baby in the house but again hopefully he leaves on his own.

Answer 4

I would limit the time that you are spending together...especially when you have to be alone.

I have a theory that people begin to be attracted to each other when they spend a lot of time together, so if you have been around eachother a lot, he may be having those feelings.

I woudn't say anything to your sister, you don't want to upset her when she is going to have a baby. Her hormones will be out of control, and chances are she will be mad at you and not him.

Answer 5

Confront him about it. It will embarrass him and he will almost certainly stop. Don't think that you'll embarrass yourself- because thats the last thing you will do. If he doesn't stop after you tell him to then tell your sister. It will be a tough thing to do, but it would be very important you do so. Tell her everything you said on here. Wish you best of luck. You're in a tough situation and you did nothing to deserve it =[

Answer 6

Don't take it upon yourself to tell your sister. She can probably see for herself who her husband is.

Answer 7

Yes, by all means, you need to ask your sister <at least> to talk to him about his behavior... she may either be in denial or may just be trying to get past this pregnancy... you won't know until you talk to her. Try to be gentle and supportive of her, but please tell her the truth of what you have been experiencing. She needs to know.

You need to play "keep away" from the lecherous BIL... don't bother with any family get-togethers if you know he is going to be there. You can drop by and pick up your sister or your parents and take them to dinner, but just keep him away from you.

Answer 8

There's no telling when it will stop. If you're absolutely sure he's hitting on you, take him aside when no one's looking and tell him it has to stop. It's creepy. He should not be doing that when he's married, especially to his sister-in-law!

Answer 9

Yikes.  I would say it's best to talk to him first and see what he says.  Explain to him that you are happily married, and that his pregnant wife should be his #1 concern.

It depends on what kind of person he is, really.  If he is persistent and obnoxious, talking to him might make it worse.  If you need to, I would talk to your sister.  I know it's a bad time, with her due any day, but she needs to know if this is really troubling you and you and he's serious about his advances.

If he's hitting on you, then he is likely hitting on other women (or will).  I do not think it will stop when the baby is born unless he is talked to and changes his perspective.  Even if your sister isn't wanting to be intimate, he should just deal with it and focus on their coming family.  If he can't handle it now, it will only get worse.  

Go with your gut, and be obvious about it if you have to.  The last thing you need is him telling your sister that you were hitting on HIM... that could really be bad for everyone if he's manipulative.  Be straight-forward, and talk to your husband about it as well.

I wouldn't trust her husband to do the right thing if he's not already behaving correctly.  It's crucial that you talk to someone and not be alone with him ever.

Best to you.

Answer 10

Wow! I had this same problem before, it is hard to know what will happen if you do (don't tell). I think maybe you mention this to your husband and let him see if he can catch on to these advances. If he does, then the two of you should talk to your brother in law about his behavior. This should eliminate his behavior, and keep your sister's trust in you.  

Answer 11

This puts you in a nasty situation, if you tell her she might blame you or say you're lying. So grab a tape recorder and record the next incident so you have proof.

oh and you might wanna wait till after the baby

Answer 12

Just a suggestion, you could tell your brother in law, that you " have too much love & respect for your sister & their new arrival to even consider a fling with him, it's a pity that he doesn't !

He needs to get his priorities in order & stop thinking with his p****r for once.

Plus the mere thought of getting it on with him makes your skin crawl & you'd rather l**k the town's sewage pipes clean with your tongue, than have him touch you in any way shape or form ! ".

Your brother in law needs putting in his place, he is totally over stepping the mark trying to hit on you.

Good Luck. X :-)

Answer 13

my mother says no she doesnt think it will stop untill you personaly put a stop to it if you love your sister she MUST KNO my mothers advice to you is to get a tape recorder and record him have a long talk with your sister about the passes hes made tell her you love her and play the tape if you dont tell your sister you culd loose the friendship you have with her you NEVER keep that kind of thing from a person you love so dearly youll be a lot happier once you get this off your conciouns and the tape is very very important cause your sis may not want to beleive it ...and she wont want to but the evidence will be there

Answer 14

It may stop when the baby comes, but if it doesn't, you should confront him. We are all adults here, so take the high road. Just respectfully tell him how you feel and perhaps remind him he has a wife, and you have a happy marriage with your husband. If he still does not stop, then you should talk to your sister. Since she is your sister, perhaps she will understand. Expressing your feelings early will hopefully keep the situation from becoming worse, especially when he has a wife and a child coming into the world to think about.

I hope this helps! Good luck.

Answer 15

I would talk to your brother-in-law ASAP! If he has a child due soon, he should not be trying to hit on his wife's sister. That is really wrong. Let him know that you are happily married and that you are not intending on doing anything with him, so he can forget about it! If he continues to seem like he is hitting on you, you need to bring this up to your sister; its only fair. Good luck!

Answer 16

Yes, you need to tell your sister everything. She deserves to know what kind of terrible things this guy is doing, and how he is betraying her.

I guarantee you that id he is hitting on you, he is also hitting on other females, and he even admitted to you that he has a personal on Ashley Madison. That site is just for people who want to have affairs.

Your sister deserves someone to be faithful to her at this time in her life. She is making a tremendous sacrifice by becoming a mother, and since her husband is a scumbag, she needs you, as her sister, to show loyalty to her.

Answer 17

Tell him firmly to stop, and if he continues, bring the matter to his wife. She doesn't need anymore stress in her life with the pregnancy and then with newborns but it is best that she doesn't have a man with a cheating heart raising her babies so you should let her know and maybe that will change his ways.

Answer 18

as long as its just flirting i dont see why you should make a big deal out of it. if its inappropriate like hes telling u he wants to have s*x with u then u need to tell ur sister cause hes only one step away from cheating on her.

Answer 19

I had the same problem. My (future) brother in law use to hit on me all the time. One day when we were alone he was tryin to grab on me and I told him to stop. He laughed it off, but I told him I was serious. I told him it was incredably disrespectful to his wife and my fiance (his brother). He got really quiet and thought for a min and was like 'oh c'mon, its just me.' and I told him I didnt care, he was to stop, or I was telling both his wife and my fiance. So, try standing up to him. If he doesnt stop, then tell your husband and ur sister.

Answer 20

u need to call your sista right now.  this isn't a joke...don't let him get away w/it.  honor your own husband by telling.... if u don't, he will go to the next female.  if the shoes were on the other foot-wouldn't u want to know.  what goes around comes around!

Answer 21

I think you should confront on how you are uncomfortable with him hitting on you.. tell him that you are not interested on him and if he should hit on someone he should hit on hookers not any relatives of his spouse..

Answer 22

Just tell him no and he'll get the point. If he doesn't, tell your sister about it. She'll embarrass him and then he'll stop. Nip it in the butt though before it becomes a problem.

Answer 23

Tell this slime ball to knock it off in your most determined voice and if he persists tell your sister and your husband. He needs to cool his jets for a while. His wife is in a very vulnerable position right now and he needs to show her some respect and loyalty.

Answer 24

YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR SISTER AND YOUR HUSBAND SO THEY CAN PUNCH THE DAYLIGHTS OUT OF HIM.

By you hiding it from them makes you look guilty too and if you don't want to be the bad person you should tell them before they find out. Otherwise, it might look like you liked it for a while.

Hmm...

and if your sister thinks you are telling her  bull spit then seduce this mother lover and get it on hidden camera. NANNY CAM!

Answer 25

Kick him in the nuts.  

But seriously, you really need to do something more proactive than just taking it.  Tell him to stop.  Tell your sister.  Do something because he needs to stop or he will just find someone else who will be more willing than you.

Answer 26

You need to let your husband know what is going on. The two of you should confront the man and if things don't stop then let your sister know what is going on. You also should get on the site that he told you about to see if he is on there. Let your sister know about that. He will eventually end up cheating on your sister. Wait until the baby is born before she finds out anything.    

Answer 27

Have a one on one with him.. tell that you are not interested and you would like to stop the flirting and that he needs to think of your sister and his kid.... if that dosent work tell your sister.

Answer 28

No, this is how it works, I will hit on my sister-in-law too, I would never, ever take it further, but its just the way to act. It's like a boss hitting on a hot secretary. Don't worry about it. Joke about it. It won't stop with the baby...

EDIT: MY BAD, IF HE IS AN ACTUAL CHEATER, TELL THE SISTER, BEAT HIM UP, TEACH HIM A LESSON HE WON'T FORGET. UNACCEPTABLE.

Answer 29

If he is hitting on you and your his sister in law then most likely he is hitting on other girls too. What I would do is after your sister has the baby wait a couple of weeks and let her know. He is probably being unfaithful with her now with someone who is paying attention to his foolishness.

Answer 30

Tell him that if he does it one more time you will tell his wife...your sister.  That is messed up!  Maybe he is just really missing intimacy with his wife because some women don't want to have s*x during pregnancy... I would take him aside and ask him if he really thinks I would jeopardize my relationship with my sister over some stupid jerk.

Answer 31

u know what talk to ur sister about it coz if he is hitting on u then he will hit on some one else ..Or else..u can talk to him in a very proper way..and tell him EITHER stop this S**t or am gonna talk to my sister about it ...