My brother is an idiot, what should I do?

Question

I'm 22 and my brother is 16. I am married and we used to live in my parents' basement, but we moved into our house last summer. My brother still lives with my parents.

Since we moved out, my parents have become very lax on enforcing rules that they previously enforced with an iron fist.

He isn't allowed to spend the night or go on trips with friends without their parents being home, and my parents usually always made sure that when he was hanging out at someone's house, there was an adult present somewhere (like upstairs).

However, one of my old friends' siblings hangs out with him and told me some disturbing news of him being drunk at school, and then I saw some pictures his friends put up on facebook of him drunk, playing strip poker with girls, and some of a big sleepover at someone's condo with no parents and both sexes even though he told my parents it was just boys and it was supervised.

I don't want to seem naggy and overbearing (next)

Answer 1

Talk to your brother first, and then just have him look at what he's done.  Then talk to your parents and tell them to loosen the reins a bit.  I don't think that he would be so curious, and do all of this stuff, if he had a little more freedom.  

p.s. Have your parents have like, some wine or beer with your brother, that way he's not so curious that he gets so drunk and looks like a fool.  And this way, he will know where his limits are with alcohol, and when to stop.

Answer 2

Lulu, you clearly love your brother andd are troubled by his behavior.  I would take him aside , quietly and privately, and tell him what you have heard and ask him if it is true.  Since you have some circumstantial evidence, if he denies doing anything wrong, you can show the evidence to him and again ask him if it true.  If he still denies wrong behavior, let him know tha you are going to have to tell your parents if he does not.  Give him an hour, and then check to se if he has done so or not.  In either case, you need to follow up and talk to your parents.  This is not tattling, this is tryin to help him avoid a tragedy.  It's going to hurt, and it's going to make you feel lousy that you are doing this, but you MUST do this, or face a far greater hurt if you don't.  Let me know how it goes, ok?

Answer 3

hes 16!! hes not quite mature yet and i mean let him do all that c**p now so he will learn when he gets like 18 and everything!!!(it worked for my brothers) and their like 22 23 now and im 15

Answer 4

How is your husband's relationship with him?  Any chance your husband could talk to him "man to man"?

Answer 5

you should talk to him. or maybe your husband should. but your parents need to know about this.