My brother recently adopted 2 children...?

Question

I am 20. i'm a little unsure about how to act around them the little girl is 5 and completely out of control with his two biological children i know that i can discipline them if needed (NO I DONT MEAN hitting) i mean like telling them to stop what they are doing and to be quiet and stuff like that. but with the new ones i dont know if this would be ok. Also she is not very friendly and i know this has to do with the life that she had before how do i get her to trust me enough to be nice to me she is 5 so trying to talk to her does not work very well.

Answer 1

Trust will probably take a while - she's been through a lot.

Definately the 'play' thing.

You're going to have to earn the trust.

Love and care for her well - and eventually - she should come around - and show you the same in return.

Be very very patient with her also. Wait for her to come to you - just be available.

She's probably got a ton of messed up feelings inside - and doesn't know who to trust.

Be there for her.

I wish you both all the very best.

Answer 2

treat her like you treat the others.... children need to have limits. It will be rough at first but like the other children she will respect you

Answer 3

You just have to be patient it takes time but just love this child like the others because that is what she seems to be missing. the more you love her then you will eventually break through to her

Answer 4

what a five year old wants, Play. Play with her and be nice with her, hug her and so. it will change. good luck

Answer 5

treat her like you treat your other nieces and nephews. she may be out of control bc of her background but she is a child none the less and needs to learn discipline

Answer 6

well first if she was just adopted then give her some time.  I wouldn't treat her differently from the others but have some compassion because she is probably going through a lot.  Try and find out an activity that she really likes and go one on one with her.  That may help the two of you bond.

Answer 7

Just be yourself. And most of all be patient. Dont be pushy but dont try too hard.

Trust is going to take a while to build, and they need to be reasured more than anything else.

Good luck

Answer 8

Treat the adopted children as you would if they were his biological children, it isn't fair to them to make a difference. Hopefully, once she gets to know you and adjusts to her new family, she will become more comfortable and trusting. Just show lots of love and some patience.

Answer 9

You can sit down with her and ask her. Tell her that you have expectation of her to behave just like you do for your nieces and nephew. They are all your  family now. A five year old is smarter then you give her credit for. She can learn from your example and mimic your behavior and she will learn if you treat her different from the other children in her family.

Answer 10

treat everyone the same if not they will resent you .