My brother thinks he can't do anything... help?

Question

Ok, My little brother is only 5 and we are all trying to get him to do stuff he needs to know. ( like tying his shoes or riding a bike but alot more things) and he watches us do this and he freaks out and yells, "I don't know how to do this!" and starts hitting people. Does anyone have ideas to get him to stop complaining but actually do the stuff we do?

10 points for the first answer that works!*** thanks!

Answer 1

My first thought is that he has a motor problem. Has he ever been tested? Does he hit you any other time?

If that's not the problem, he's just getting frustrated because he can't get it right the first time. Why not try baby steps that he can get right? For instance, with tying a shoe, start by crossing the laces. Encourage him as he makes those little successes.

Answer 2

I have the same problem except my brothers are twins, and they are five too!

What we usually do is sit them down for a half an hour which is quite a task and we tell them, if you listen you will get a prize (chocolate,new coloring book, sticker, etc.)Children love bribes and it will make things so much easier.

Also try letting them get up for 30 seconds and run around the table or something and then they have to sit back down and work again.

Also say things such as 'Oh, well if your not gonna try then I guess you just have to be a baby for the rest of your life, unless you can count to twenty' you will usually get a response from that!

Good luck! Jesus loves you-

Bre

Answer 3

This one is rather simple really.

Why should your little brother learn to do any of these things as long as there is someone around to do it for him?

He may be acting like he's intimidated by the thought of learning new things, but does he behave the same way at the thought of learning a new game, or participating in a new fun activity?

Sure he's going to freak out when he's told to tie his own shoe laces. Throwing a tantrum is a very usefull tool for a 5yo'd to get people to give him what he wants, & what he wants is for someone else to tie his laces for him so he doesn't have to take the time & effort to learn it for himself.

So what everyone in you family needs to do is agree that they aren't going to do any of the things your little bro should be doing on his own anymore. Let him throw all of the fits he wants, but if no one caves in to his behaviour he will soon learn that it isn't going to work anymore, & then he is left with only one other option, & that is to learn how to do these things by himself (with his families help of course).

Answer 4

my brother does the same thing, it is anger issues. I just talk to him calmly and get him to try again. If he still has an attitude about it I take toys and Tv away from him until he settles down. You might want to place him in time out until he calms down and ask him why he thinks he can't do it, he might just say I don't know. In other words he might be scared of doing things or wants you to keep on doing things for him. If that fails don't do anything (what you are trying to teach him) for him, until he gets tired and really wants to learn.  

Answer 5

im not exactly sure what your bro thinks... but mayb get him distracted by playing a gaime with him-then try to talk to him about tying his shoe. If uve tried a lot of things mayb he just has a bad temper-or mayb he could have autism??  

Answer 6

When he starts to complain and say that he can't do it, tell him. "I will help you, come here, lets try and you will see that it is easy and you are going to learn. Tell him that he is a big smart boy. The when he has finished praise him by saying, You did it! God job! etc. Be patient with him.  

Answer 7

Well the right thing to do is to keep encouraging him, no matter what. Kids are always like that and they think they can't do it even though they hardly tried and plus he's only 5 give him some time