My brother told me him and his wife are pregnant and I cried not in the happy for you way?

Question

My brother and his wife of two months are pregnant, they found out today and I cried after I fund out not in a good way. I have been tryng for 8months and last month I had the the rougue false positice that crushed me. I am CD9 now and hopeful that now with my clear blue fertility monitor I can finally have a BFP this month, but is it normal what i did. They have only been trying for less than a month. I know its not a race but I feel so cheated all the work into testing everymorning, tempature taking, vitamin and her taking, reading, checking my cm and then poof with none of that they are pregnant. I can't believe how angry i am, anyoe else feel this way and did it subside I want to be happy for them.

Answer 1

I doubt that you are unhappy for them.  It is more that you are hurt for you.  I think your feelings are very natural........I hope you get to spread good news very soon.  

Answer 2

i can understand your feelings and any one with a bit of compassion would feel with you .your brother and his wife also.but have you ever considered that you might be putting yourself under to much pressure.though it`s perfectly understandable ,stress could have the opposite effect to what your hoping to achieve.for example with my third pregnancy my husband and i wanted so much another child after just losing our last child with a miscarriage and nothing seemed to work(we got caught so easily on the first 2 pregnancy)that we thought something was wrong we had an appointment with a fertility specialist.at our initial appointment he said i had to wait till my next period and then come back to him so they can do the test.i never went back as i was pregnant.the specialist said that happens often when people have an appointment with him.the reason  is you feel that something will be done now so you relax a bit ,the stress is no longer so apparent so you get pregnant.i have loads of other examples on a similar line.a friend of mine and her man was trying for 11 years to have a baby with no luck so they decided to adopt,2 months after they had made the decision she was pregnant,well the pressure was no longer there to have a baby and they were more relaxed.i`m not saying that this would work in every ones case,but it`s worth a shot to release the pressure on yourself on the off chance that for you it will work.good luck,i hope someday yours and your brothers children will be good friends as well as cousins

Answer 3

I think that your feelings are absolutely normal. It seems like since I've been ttc everyone around me has gotten pregnant! My brother's girlfriend just had a baby and 3 of my cousins are expecting. So like someone in a earlier response stated, its not that we're not happy for them its just that we're hurting for ourselves. I'm sure we'll both be posting BFP'S soon!! Good luck1

Answer 4

Yeah i know how you feel... My sister in law is due in 2 months.. and i hated it so much when i found out because i had been tryin for months and it just 'happened' to her!!! I'm happy for her now (plus i get to be an aunt again!!) I thought when we started tryin it would just happen and *hey presto* BFP!! only recently started charting temps and taking vitamins.. no alcohol etc etc. I didn't think my jealousy would subside but it did :)

I have my fingers crossed its my month!!! will just have to wait and see.

I wish you the best of luck. Just stay positive and look forward to being an Aunt :) I hope you get your BFP soon hun *fingers crossed*

Take care x*x

Answer 5

This is perfectly normal and everyone having problems ttc has this at some point.  I did myself.  My bfs sister tried for 5 years and had never been pregnant not even once and whilst she was waiting for her 3rd try at ivf she got pregnant and everything was ok.  She seen the babies heartbeat and everything.  I had been pregnant 4 times before this and had 4 miscarriages.  I was overcome with jealousy at how it could just happen for her and everything be ok.  I spent her entire pregnancy hoping that I would get pregnant just because I wanted to have what she had so badly, well i didnt get pregnant and you know what when she had her baby I ovulated on the same day.  My jealousy completely dissappeared when I seen her gorgeous baby girl and I got pregnant and I am now 28 weeks along with a healthy baby boy.  I wouldnt change my boyfriends niece for the world she is lovely and when my jealousy dissappeared I got pregnant because well it wasnt a race anymore and I wasnt trying to beat her and be the first person to get pregnant.  Now I have forgotten all about how hard it was to get pregnant in the first place and am looking forward to my son being born in november.  It will happen for you, you just have to be patient!!!!

Answer 6

i feel you, i've been trying also for 6yrs now and still no luck, but my 3 brothers who dint want to have children for the past 2yrs and guess what? they got pregnant 2 times!!!! each year they got pregnant!!!   and people ask me if when i will be pregnant? I'm tired of crying about this, but I'm still trying. i will not give up.. good things will happen with good people.. just keep on trying.. good luck to us!

Answer 7

I know how you feel, my husband and I have been trying for 2 years! And my sister has 5 kids! Everyone assumes it will be easy for me.. just hang in there and don't stress about it.. it will happen

*baby dust*

Answer 8

yeah i kinda get mad too when some of my cousins tell me there pregnant and i have trying for a year and half and i get kinda sad too

Answer 9

I understand how you can feel the way you do. You just have to remember that your brother & his wife didn't get pregnant to hurt you. You have a right to be sad & a little bit angry but remember you love your brother & you don't want to ruin the relationship over something like this.

Answer 10

I can relate...it's not my brother but one of my closest friends, when I started TTC she said she was in no way ready to even THINK of starting to try. To make a long story short her baby was 3 months old earlier this month. I was just very honest with her about being so happy for her but also about the difficulty I would (and do) have being there for her through every story and detail. Just be honest with your brother about where your head is. I had to be honest with myself that being a bad friend wasn't worth endulging my fears and I had to find a way to be there for her and be happy for her.  Our time is coming, hopefully SOON =)

Best of luck to you with your brother and TTC!

Answer 11

I know this is tough. I m/c a child and 2 different relatives had unplanned pregnancies within months of it. One was on the coat tails of her first child's delivery  an oops. The others were out of wed lockers that had not taken any serious steps toward commitment with an oops.

It is tough. I am sorry you have to add this to your already frustrated,sad ordeals . It is ok to feel that way. Allow yourself to feel sad or angry just at the situation not directly at them. I am certain they had reservations about telling you too but knew they had to for not telling you would hurt more in the long run.

I wish you luck that you will one day be the mom you desire to be.

  

Answer 12

I have an 11 year old daughter.  in the 11 years since I've had her, one of my sisters-in-law has had 5 children, another one has had 1, my sister has gotten pregnant, and 4 of my cousins have had 7.  I've been devastated every time (especially when my heroin addict cousin had 2 babies).  I've also struggled with depression these past 11 years which didn't help anything.

my feelings did subside eventually, but came back for a brief visit for my nieces' and nephews' baptisms.  I've been passed over for godmother 6 times now.  and I know my husband's brothers and their families are much more religious than I am and that godparents are really important to them, but it still hurts, you know?  a few years ago I said forget it and decided I was going to be the fun aunt.  :D

I finally found something that helped my depression (it wasn't the intended effect, but I'll take it!) and I started this cycle off feeling awesome.  and when my two sisters-in-law told me they were pregnant, on my wedding anniversary no less, I was genuinely happy for them.  I had plans to start charting in the next month or so if my periods ended up staying regular and I was totally ok with not getting pregnant this month.  it looks like I might be though (3 really faint shadowy lines on 3 different tests) but now I'm crushed because one of my sisters-in-law lost her baby sometime last week.  

Answer 13

Be happy you will be an aunty, and i am sure you will get pregnant soon!