My brother wants to be in the wedding party. what should i do?

Question

i love my brother, but we have just started speaking again after a very long feud. we are starting to renew our relationship which is good, but i am taking this very slow so we dont fight again. i am getting married and have made my sister my maid of honor (she is my best friend) and i would like to give my brother a role to, but am not certain of what. i dont want to make him a groomsmen because he has been a jerk to my fiance in the past. i dont want him to be left out, but im not sure i can d eal with him being in the wedding.

Answer 1

I like the idea that he escorts your mom down the aisle. This makes him a part of the wedding, but not as much as a groomsman.  

Answer 2

usher? My first choice personally would have been groomsman, but if thats not what you want...

You could make him a bridesman (kinda like in that patrick dempsey movie maid of honor).

you could just tell him kindly that all of the roles have been filled.

Or maybe your fiance can forgive him and accept him being a groomsman.

Answer 3

Okay well I have been in your situation and you should just have him be a groomsmen even tho you aren't really wanting to right now. Trust me my brother has had a past and we didn't know if he would even show up to the wedding. He is still your brother and trust me it is much better to look at the wedding photos with your brother in it than look at them and see he isn't in the wedding party pictures. I am sure your fiance will understand that he is family and it is important to you. If you REALLy don't want him in your wedding party you could ask him to do a reading so that he is still part of it. BEST OF LUCK to youuuu!!!!!!!

Answer 4

I would try to fit him in as an escort or an usher. I had the same problem with my brother so I stuck him with my crazy mom. He is going to escort her down the aisle and that's it. I understand how you feel though. It's hard because he is family so you want to do your best to have a minor role for him. I am pretty sure he knows that he was being a jerk and any role you have for him will be good enough. Besides it's your wedding. Hope this helped.

Answer 5

Have him be an usher. That's what I asked my older brother to do - and we don't exactly hit it off...

Answer 6

Why can't you give him a different responsibility like...ushering your guests to their seats? That way he is ivolved and doing something important as well as staying out of your fiance's way.  

Answer 7

How about a reader in the church  

Answer 8

Tell him that the wedding party has already been chosen by your soon to be groom...apologize and offer for him to be an usher and let him know how much help that would be....maybe talk to your fiance and see what he thinks...thank him (no matter what you decide) and let him know that you at least appreciate the thought of him wanting to be helpful and a part of your 'big day'!

Answer 9

Have him do a reading during the ceremony.  It would be really special if he wrote the words himself.  If not, have him read a passage or verse that is meaningful.

Answer 10

You can have him be an usher that way he doesn't feel left out, and your fiance doesn't feel like you are accepting the crude behavior your brother has had towards him before.

Just be sure you both talk to him in regards to what is expected of him that day and good luck!