My brother wants to marry a girl who is not of our cast and 1 yr elder

Question

my brother is 25yrs old and he is in love with an outcast girl who is 1yr elder to him.they both were together in college so are i touch with quite a long time.now he wants me to meet her.but i am just worried that this love doesnt result into any infactuation becoz i have seen many such cases not suceeding.how i should find out that she is the right girl i will be meeting her alone as my bro is not here.plz tell me how to judge her becoz its the question of a family..guide me plz.

Answer 1

You didn't say why she is a outcast....  Come on spill the beans, what is she a white or black or maybe from the better side of town?  You are about to push your brother away from the whole family with your attitude.  Meet her and unless she calls you a tramp then welcome her into your family

Answer 2

You should be open minded when you meet her and judge her for the person she is, not her caste and not her age.  Judging her strictly on her character, not her caste, not her age, no other reason -- ask yourself, Is she good to your brother?  Does she treat him well?  Does she love him? Is she a nice, stable person who will bring him happiness?  These are the only important questions.  If you find that the answers are yes, then support your brother's relationship and help him to convince the family as well.

I agree that the other answers here make a valid point, your brother has the right to marry who he wants....it's not your decision to make.  However, I know that's not always what happens -- sometimes family has a lot of say in a son's or daughter's potential marriage.  Especially given cultural aspects.   But please keep in mind you can be your brother's best ally here.  So long as this woman can bring him happiness and she's good to him, stay on his side through this.  And help the family realize this is a good relationship and convince them it's the right thing.

Answer 3

What is this?  The Middle Ages?  

Answer 4

well u knw wot kind of girl u want for ur family so u should b able to judge her but well think it that way tht if she was ur g n ur brother messed it up for u how u will feel

Answer 5

First of all, WTF does this mean?

"they both were together in college so are i touch with quite a long time."

If you spent more time on your English skills maybe you'd have less time to BUTT IN-to your brother's business.  His life and his choices are just that, his life and his choices.  Tend to your own life so the sister of the boy who brings you home to meet his family doesn't have the same thing to say about you.

Answer 6

If your brother wants to marry her then that's his business and doesn't need your approval. Neither caste nor age have to do with how people feel about each other. My boyfriend is 9 years older than me and while he can be considered middle class, my family is poor. Yet we love each other anyway.

Meet the lady, get to know her. That's all your brother is asking you to do.

Answer 7

As an American, my view on the caste system is that it is antiquated and draconian.

That being said,  most intercaste marriages that don't work, I think, don't work because of people in the family who have problems with intercaste marriages.

If you don't have a problem with her because of her age and caste, and your family and her family doesn't have a problem with the age and caste issue, then I don't see why the marriage wouldn't work if the two love eachother and have compatible personalities.

Answer 8

JUDGE HER???????  Are you serious?  First of all the cast system is no longer in effect.  Secondly, who are you to dictate or your family, who your brother should be dating.  You should not go to meet this girl what you should be doing is going back to school and learn how to write and spell correctly

Answer 9

Hi,

Let him marry. Present day boys mostly prefer this type.

You cannot direct against his desire. Regarding age , there is no bar.

You cannot mend him at this stage.

Answer 10

Find out what she plans to do for a living and how she is doing in school.  Also observe her manners.  Is she nice and polite?  Does she have good table manners?  Have a normal conversation with her to figure out what type of person she is.

Answer 11

First of all, I year older is fine and should not be a problem at all in any manner.

Second of all, what do you mean she is not of your caste?

There should be no boundaries betweeb love, and come on, the cast system is BS and I think was invented by the British to cause discrimination in the country (divide and rule.)

It's your brother's life and to begin with he was kind enough to invite you to judge the girl,

If you really want your brother to be happy for the rest of his life, and you know for sure he loves this girl, then what are you waiting for????

Get the BARAAT ready!!!!!

If you are going to judge her based on how helpful she is going to be for the house, what her manners are,  and How well she cooks, and how she serves the rest of the family, then that's called  selfishness.

I'm not pointing these statements at you in particular.....I don't even know you!

The people who I'm pointing this out to know that I'm pointing this out to them.

Anyways, talk to your brother and ask how he feels about her.

If he really likes her, then send out the wedding invitations.

SORRY FOR THE LONG REPLY, I'm RARELY CONCISE.

Answer 12

Be open minded - while you are meeting a person and you will be able to judge properly.

Please for heavens sake why dont you people grow? After all they both are human beings and it is not a SIN TO LOVE. While all that matters is if the two lovers are able to understand each other and maturely handle situations. A marrigae of such usually survives for long.

Answer 13

meet her and then form your opinion,

why rake your brain before meeting her.

Answer 14

It's not up to you to decide if this is the right woman. Your brother seems to think she is, and that is all that matters.