My child, usually a good kid, has stolen some money. Advice?

Question

This is an old story, but it's the first time it's happened in my family, so I'm looking for some advice.

My 7-year-old son was allowed to help with collecting money at a sign-in table at an event this weekend. This morning I got a call from the treasurer: "I have a difficult question for you," he said, and described how the money had counted up $50 short. Sure enough, the $50 bill was in my son's room, folded small.

What's an appropriate way to approach, discuss, and punish for this?

Answer 1

I would tell him that the treasurer had called and said they came up 50 short and does he know anything about that? If he didn't answer or lied to me, I would say, "Please tell me the truth. You are already in trouble, but you will be in much more trouble if you lie to me." If he denied it, I would confront him with the truth. If he admitted it to me, I would thank him for his honesty and explain that this was unacceptable behavior and he would have to be punished. I would make HIM return the $50 and apologize to the treasurer, then take away something he really loved (TV time, video game time, bicycle, or whatever) for 5 days. $10 a day seems reasonable to me. Reinforce that, no matter what, you will always love him and he can always tell you the truth. You are disappointed that he did what he did and he still must be punished, but it does NOT diminish your love for him. Once you inform him of his punishment, FOLLOW THROUGH!!! Otherwise, he gets the message that you don't really mean it. Good luck, Darlin'. Nip this in the bud!!

Answer 2

take it w/out telling him, and maybe he'll realize he was caught

Answer 3

Talk to your son now because it get worst. That how my 18 yrs.old start off .now he's lock up

Answer 4

You can start talking to someone about how bad it would be if someone did what he did, make sure you say this when he is around.

Later tell him about what happened, don't use his name, don't say you got a call.

Then you can ask if it was him, it should be obvious.

If he denies you, then tell him about the call, and the $50.00 bill in his room

Ask him why he did it

then punish him on why he did it

You could make him give his own $50 and another punishment

Answer 5

My parents would give me an old fashion whoopen! Then deprive me of my toys/electronics/games. OH Yeah! they would also put me in time out. In a locked room all alone for like an hour. EEEE! But idk if that was the RIGHT approach on things. Personally, do the following.

-Talk to him- tell him that you he did was not wise and that it was not the right thing to do.

-If u r religious tell him to pray 2 God for forgivnss.

-Tell him next time to think what he is doing before he acts.

-Dicipline him- take away games/ electronics/ toys and/or ground him

-Make him go to the people he stole from(runners of the event) and apolagize to them.

Hey it's just my opinion!

Answer 6

Take the fifty, show it to the child ask him where he got it and hopefully he will tell you the truth.  If not, tell him you know where it came from and he is going to have to return the money and the treasurer will have to decide what to do about it let him no that stealing money or toys or any thing else, is not only wrong, but is also illegal and they may very well decide to press charges.  

Take the long way to meet the treasurer so he can think about it.  make him go in and face the person.  That should cure the problem.

It worked for me when my child borrowed a toy without permission from his Grandmas house.

Answer 7

My guess is that a seven year old doesn't necessarily know the difference between right and wrong in this case.  IF he did and knows he stole something that should be addressed.  Why would a 7 yo be collecting and making change for large bills?

I would use comparisons between what he has - in his room - toys, etc and would he want a friend to come over and walk off with his possessions?  I think not but he should be made aware not to take anything that does not belong to him or likewise for someone else to take something he has earned or someone take his money or prizes.  

If this is the first time anything like this has happened then maybe ask him why he did it.  I would not blow it out of proportion considering he is 7.

Answer 8

Give some time for the guilt to build up and confess, if he does not, then ask him why did he do it. Then explain to him that it is wrong to steal and make him apologize.

Answer 9

Ask child & give him a chance to confess. If he doesn't, present the evidence. Discuss with him how wrong it is and how much he would hate it if someone stole something of his. Punishment: He must go in person (with you) to the treasurer & confess his crime & apologize and give back the money. also ask him why he did it?

Answer 10

Sometimes even though children are very good kids they are tempted to much and give in because they don't understand how bad giving in to the temptation really is. I still think your kid is a good person I just think you need to talk to him about taking things and honesty a little more.

If I were you I would go up to your son and say _________ I was just wondering if you happened to see somthing happen to 50 dollars from the event this weekend because the treasurer has come up 50 dollars short. If he doesnt say he stole it then just say oh okay well I was meaning to talk to you about somthing. Do you know how important honesty is? Honesty means that you dont lie,steal, cheat, or desive anyone, I will never be to mad about you telling me you did somthing wrong what would make me mad is to know that you lied to me about it. I think that Honesty is more important than alot of things. If a person isnt honest I really dont have to much respect for them. I cant really talk to a dishonest person that much because how can I believe a WORD they are saying if they have lied before I would loose ALL trust for them. Trust is a hard thing to earn back to. Then wait a little bit and go into his room and say where did you get this 50 dollars and go from there.    

I would make him write a letter of apollogy, ground him untill next weekend and make him give back the money and work for you to earn 50 dollars to see how hard it is is earn money and how bad it is to steal it since it takes so much effort to make and then make him give you the 50 dollars as punishment for stealing the other 50 dollars to show how awful it feels to have hard earned money taken from you. I would also get him some of those adventures from the book of virtues movies and cassetes and let him learn about honesty and intergrity because kids dont just learn these things you have to teach these things to them even though it seems like they would learn these things on their own they dont. hope this helped!  

try this site to get those movies I was talking about

http://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Book-Vi...

PS I know my spelling is bad my spell check isnt working

Sorry your in such a tough sittuation!good luck and God bless you and your family.

Answer 11

Ask child & give him a chance to confess.  If he doesn't, present the evidence.  Discuss with him how wrong it is and how much he would hate it if someone stole something of his.  Punishment:  He must go in person (with you) to the treasurer & confess his crime & apologize and give back the money.  That is an event that he will remember the rest of his life, as every other child who has been made to do this can tell you.  (and it is a common childhood occurrence.)  Then it should be a pretty severe punishment, whatever would be severe in your household.  If grounding for a week is typical, then make it 3 weeks.  Really up the punishment because it is a serious offense that must be "nipped in the bud."  Chances are he will never steal again.