My child dispays extreme stage fright. Help! What can I do!?

Question

Last weekend, my child who is 6 years old, had his first piano recital after taking very expensive lessons for 6 months. When he walked on stage, he just froze and wouldn't move. He just stared at the audience wide eyed, and did nothing despite coaxings from his instructor. The audience was mostly sympathetic, but many in the crowd laughed outloud. I was so ashamed, that I stood up, berated my son on stage, and led him off while he was screaming and crying. The whole place was quiet. When we got home, he was punished. Now, he refuses to go near the piano to practice. I have entered a contract with the instructor which expires in 6 more months, so I will be stuck making these expensive payments. I have spoken with the instructor, and he refuses to release me from contract, yet my son refuses to go near a piano! Please help!

Answer 1

I hope this story isn't true.  Berating a 6-year-old and humiliating him in front of a crowd is abusive.  I bet it wasn't his idea to perform in the first place.  

If my mom did this to me, you can bet she'd never hear from me again once I left home.

Answer 2

You were ashamed and punished him?  What kind of parent are you?

Answer 3

How could you do this to your son?Poor child-he needed all the love in the world and to know that in the face of such a terrible event that you still loved him no matter what.I dont blame him for never wanting to go near a piano again-you have a go at it and see how you get on!I am disgusted!!!!

Answer 4

why did you punish him? he's only 6 and everyone can have stage fright. im 14 and when i have acting class i still have stage frigth but my mom never punishes me. just give him time and try to talk to him, thats the only way to get through to him

Answer 5

It is very common for some kids to get "stage fright."  It is a lot different performing in a classroom setting than on a stage in front of a lot of people.  Embarrassing him in front of people is not going to help him.  I do hope you know that.  Now, he will have something in addition to the stage fright to worry about, you yelling at him if he messes up.  

I would never enter into a year long contract for something like this.  Do you know how often kids change their minds about what they like.  IMO, when a parent does this, they are trying to push their kid into doing something they want the kid to do, not something the kid wants to do.

Answer 6

take him to see a therapist while he's still young. My oldest daughter has problems with social anxiety and it only got worse until she got help. please don't yell at him or punish him. He was probably scared and embarrassed, he can't help that. Tell your son he has to practice his piano but he doesn't have to do a recital again. If you can't go to a therapist, at least let him talk to the school counselor.

Answer 7

Your poor boy had a perfectly legitimate fear and you berated him publicly for it? He is traumatized now, which is why he won't go near a piano. You need to be more understanding of him. He is a human being just like you are, and he was SCARED. He was not acting out, not misbehaving, he was just SCARED, and you punished him for it.

Please sit down and talk to him about it like a reasonable human being, with love and compassion and understanding, and try to help him get over his fear! It is very hard for me to tell you this in a form that is not insulting, so I hope you get some use out of this answer!

Answer 8

I hope and pray your a troll as well. If not then karma has a way of working things out.

Answer 9

God, I hope you're a troll.  The alternative is that you're an abusive parent.

Answer 10

I pray to God this question is your sick idea of a joke.  If not, you need to get professional help before you do any more damage to your son.

Answer 11

stage fright is the common around people including young ages like 6 years and still young and they get nerves and cannot play the piano. Doing  things on first time on stage,  can make people too nervous. it is not good to punish him. find friends on his own age to socialize and play and have fun

and try getting help from teachers and counselor from school.

if your kid don't want to go near the piano that would be okay.

Don't force him. take him out to buy ice cream and have fun with him. make sure he go to sleep and get at least 9hr or more. before contst on stage , make a practise on same stage with a few people your friends and some kids and keep on doing it until he confident in do it. If he do okay give a treat that he chose. award him with something. after the instructor. you should tell him that your kid wasn't ready to be on stage and ready later.