My child was bit twice w/in minutes from a fellow kindergartener. Need advice please!?

Question

The two children colllided on the playground, the child bit my child on the cheek, my child pushed the biter off, the child bit again but into the neck. No lacerations at either location. Obvious reddness and mild bruising on cheek only. Have met w/ VP. Parents of biter were conferenced.

Answer 1

The biter sounds like a child that still needs to learn to control himself & his reactions - still needs to learn some better communication skills.

And, from what you've said, the school & the child's parents are aware of this and are, I would hope, working on teaching him what he needs to know.  

The only thing that might still need to be done here, that you haven't mentioned, is talking to your child about being careful, watching out for kids who haven't learned how to communicate well, yet, and forgiveness.

Answer 2

It's not uncommon for children in kinder to still bite. Most children develop the communication skills to express their emotions by then, but some don't. If the child causes problems for your daughter in the future, tell her to say "stop, I don't like it!" firmly, and hold her hand up (like she's actioning stop) to the other child. I'm an EC teacher, and I've found this the most effective way for kids to play well together and to learn to sort out conflicts (all the way from 18months - 6 or 7 years).

Maybe you can talk to your child's teacher about using some of the tactics commonly used with biters with this child? Although they're aimed at younger children (who more typically bite), it works. The biter needs to be encouraged to use their words when they're upset/angry/frustrated, and if they get too overwhelmed, to move away and scream loudly (just into the air), to kick a pillow, or to bite into a folded tissue.

Answer 3

My first thought would be "What are the teachers going to do to make sure this doesn't happen again?"  I would need some assurance that my child will be safe at school after an incident like this.  It's one thing to get pushed or shoved on the playground....it's another to get bit.  The teachers need to keep a close eye on this kid (the biter).  He (biter) might need one on one supervision on the playground.  If it were my kid, I'd insist on it.  I let a lot of things slide...but this is not one of them.

Answer 4

I am so sorry for your child. I agree you NEED to get him/her checked out by the doctor. I would also say that a child still biting at kindergarten age denotes something serious going on in that home. Tell you child to steer clear. Make sure the school knows that you have an expectation that your child will be safe while in attendance. Do not dismiss this incident. Hold then accountable if it happens again. Or better yet find another school.

Schools at their finest....let's warehouse them like little livestock and watch them turn on each other!!!

Good luck and I wish you the best.

Answer 5

Wow sounds like back in the day not so much fun getting bit by another classmate,,,but Kathy is right go get it checked out by the doctor.

But not only that, you should sit down with your son and talk to him. Just let him know that the whole world is not evil and there is good and that whatever happens you would always be there for him.

A child has to feel safe, so let your son know he didnt do anything wrong it was just an accident, and just remind him once in awhile that you will always have his back. Basically just let him know if he ever needs anything or need someone dont be afraid to come to you for help.

Answer 6

if the skin wasn't broken, i don't think you have to worry about the injury (though of course take him to the doctor if you're worried).  

beyond that, i'd be concerned if my child were bitten by a kid on two different days, but twice in a minute is really just one incident.  considering the collision and the pushing, it sounds like a two-way altercation rather than biting out of the blue.  not that that excuses it, of course, but personally if it happened to my child i'd just want some reassurance that the teachers would keep an eye on it and that the parents were aware of the situation and trying to address it.  and after that i'd just focus on talking to my own kid about what to do if someone is hurting them.

i'd be way more concerned if my child were the biter than if my child were bitten (as long as there was no major injury, and as long as it doesn't keep happening).

Answer 7

Your best bet would be to see your doctor. I don't think you have anything to worry about if the skin isn't broken but to be on the safe side I would at least get it checked. Good luck! I will never understand why children bite one another!!!

Answer 8

Kindergarten is a very tender age.  Some children are more mature than other children.  Did the child that bit your child have any special needs that need to be considered?  Are you sure that it was just a collision on the playground, not something that needs more attention, like the children don't get along.  I know that we all want to believe that our children are innocent, and yours probably is, biting is a natural defense.  If the child that bit is capable of understanding that it is wrong to bite, then that child should be disciplined accordingly.