My child won't talk at school Have you ever heard of this?

Question

He talks all the time at home but when he gets to school he won't talk to his teachers and they are wanting to hold him back from Kindergarten for not talking. Have you ever had this happen?

Answer 1

I strongly suggest checking out an anxiety disorder called Selective Mutism. I know it can be a scary thing. I have been there with my son. Help is definitely available! Check out www.selectivemutism.org. Please feel free to email me personally for more information. Good luck.

Rule #1: Do not pressure your child to speak (and the teachers shouldn't either... or the grandparents!) The sooner your son feels comfortable in what is a scary situation for him right now, the sooner he will be able to squeeze those words out at school.

Answer 2

Yes I have when I was in 3rd grade a girl named kiersten was always sad and lonely she never talked to anyone. Kids tryed to play with her but she wouldnt she only talked to her family members she has not gotten over this yet she still acts the same old way but we are only in 8th grade so maybe she will get over it eventully!

Answer 3

do you mean they want to hold him back from kindergarten?? Or hold him in kindergarten?? If he just started school, and it is his first year, I would not worry to much. He may just be a little anxious. I bet that by  next week he will be talking up a storm. It is obviously not a health issue as he talks at home. Good luck.

Answer 4

I had a friend who was the same way. At home she was loud and outgoing, but at school she whispered whenever she had to talk or read. The teachers never called on her much either because of this. I am sure she outgrew it. I haven't seen her since the 7th grade but she whispered for a long time. Try asking him why he doesn't talk at school and tell him that it is o.k and he can be vocal around friends and teachers.  

Answer 5

thats how i am when i was younger i was really shy at school but at home i am so annoying lol

Answer 6

well actually I have!!!  not from a medical view but from personally seeing it!!  there is a little girl in my kids school that she doesn't talk at all when she gets there almost like she is too shy to talk...she always has this pathetic look on her face i feel sooooo sorry for her.  I've talked to the mom and grandma and they both say she talks nonstop at home and plays all the time.  She won't even play at school.  It actually pretty sad.  I've talked to her several times and she just stares at me.  not sure why she so unsure of school.  she was in pre-k last year now she's in kindergarten this year!  A teacher even seen her at the football game last year just playing and talking...just doesn't make any sense!  who knows maybe you are the same person..now that i think about it...this little girls moms name begins with a C  do you live in indiana?

Answer 7

it sounds like selective mutism to me. ask for him to be further evaluated before they refuse to let him into Kg because he is not talking. I believe it is illegal for them to deny him an education due to a disability...selective mutism would be one. They have to at least assign him an itinerant teacher or place him in special ed preschool

Answer 8

Kids are just like that sometimes.  He's most likely shy at school or intimidated by all the other kids/teachers.  

I wouldn't hold him back, social skills will develop as he gets older.  It's also not as fun for the child if they grow up being a year older than everybody else in their grade (especially when you get to middle/high school).  If he can handle the 'academic' aspect of school (or rather just the 'other things' in kindergarten), then I would allow him to move on.  Try talking to him about it.  Ask him who his favorite friend in the class is and try to set up a play date with that child.  

Good luck!

Answer 9

Don't worry he will grow out of it.. Its just in the beginning he is meeting alot of people and my be alittle shy.

Have him invite some of his friends over which will teach him to loosen up and feel comfortable.. in school with them or out of school with them.

Answer 10

theres a kid in my year whos 16 years old and has never spoken at school. though he talks all the time at home......no one knows why though

Answer 11

My 8 year old was the same way in kindergarten and most of first grade. He was just terribly shy. He finally blossomed at the end of first grade.

He still doesn't talk as much as other kids at school, but all his classmates seem to like him and he seems very well adjusted.

I guess he just didn't have much to say.

I would be really hard-pressed to allow them to hold my son back for just that. Actually, I would have been extremely upset.

Answer 12

does he talk outside the home? If so then it sounds like developmentally and socially he is not quite ready. If he only speaks to immediate family then it may be selective mutism

Answer 13

i just read something like this in a mag. the little boy would only talk to his parents it was mutism or something like that @ school he communicated by writing he was too shy to speak they finally found a specialist that dealt with his problem and with therapy he was talking to his friends. Good Luck  

Answer 14

If he's completely silent, have him tested for selective mutism.

Answer 15

Yes, in fact I was and still am the same way. He's just shy around other people. He will learn to open up to teachers more as time goes on. Though it may take a while. It took me until the end of fourth grade. These things take time. But I assure you that this is nothing to worry about.

Answer 16

Maybe get him some friends to hang out with that are the age of the kids in his class. Even a kid in his class.

He might need that extra year. Some kids are just shy.

Its normal :)

Answer 17

it's called separation anxiety... not sure how to fix it.

Answer 18

Yes, I have heard of this.

There are a number of causes, including social anxietyhttp://www.socialanxietyassist.com.au/ch...

and selective mutism, a form of social anxietyhttp://www.anxietynetwork.com/spsm.html

It would be in your child's best intersts to have a chat with his doctor about possible referral and treatment.

Two things to remember:  

Your child is not doing this on purpose.

This is not your fault.

All the best.