My children have not seen their dad for 7 years and are 12 and 13, .Can they be forced by court to see him?

Question

We live in scotland. He was very violent towards me and i am trying to put my personal feelings aside. He lives in England and is asking for phone contact fortnightly. The kids are really not interested.

Answer 1

I suppose a Court can grant access to the man, but it is up to the children whether or not they actually see him. I know I will not be your best friend for saying this, but he is their father, and they do have a right in the future to know something of him....but maybe 12 and 13 is a little young....but as they get older, be prepared that they may want to see him, that is human nature. So try not to poison them too much against him. Make sure what you tell them is the truth and not just your version of the truth.

Answer 2

In the states a parent can demand contact as long as their child support has been paid.  If there is a question about abuse the Court can deny any visitation but the court must do it.

Even though it is difficult, make sure the children get to know their Dad.  I remember my Mom went out of her way to invite my Dad back into our lives (Even though he did not pay the child support he owed her over the years.).  I have always respected her so much for that.  She had every reason to be angry but she put her feelings aside for our benefit.  My Dad died shortly after she did this and I have always remembered how much she loved us.

Too many parents try to turn the children against the other parent.  This is a HUGE mistake!  The children love both parents.  If one parent is a bad parent the children will find put themselves they will not need you to tell them.  Just be supportive and protect the children from being hurt but do so through your ex, not through the children themselves.

Trust me the children will remember the fact that you loved them enough to not use them in your own personal war against their father.  The kids will figure out who the good parent and who is using them in their own personal war.

Also be prepared for them requesting to stay with him for an entire summer or longer.  Many children do this because the custodial parent (The one the children live with) is the one who administers the disciplines while the other parent sees them for short periods of time and showers them with presents.  Do not worry, it can end up being the best thing because the child will see the same flaws that you did and the allure of constant gifts and attention will wear off as they live with him every day and he has to deal with the discipline!

Good Luck!

Answer 3

The children are old enough to decide for themselves if they want contact with their father or not. I think the courts will take the children's feelings into account.

If your children don't want to have any contact with their father, then they can't be forced too hun. It goes against their rights if they are forced too.

Your ex will just have to accept the fact if your children decide they want nothing to do with him & he has no right to force them. Your ex's reign of terror is officially over hun, he ruined your life once, don't let him ruin his children's lives also.

In my opinion for what it's worth hun, the minute he raised his hand to you, he lost all right to be called a man/husband/father.

Good Luck. X :-)

Answer 4

is very difficult, but if they don't wont to see him is ok

Answer 5

I've done a little research and it seams that, the court could force you to let the farther see your children BUT, it would most likely be under special circumstances.

Here's what you need to know...

Your children have the right to know about their farther (which, it sounds like they do). If this goes to court, there will almost definatly be a CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service, they're independant to the court) officer to do a report on you and the farther. Your children my be ask to go to an early hearing to give there wishes on the matter and, if the farther is given permission to SEE the children, it's possibale a carer will be asked to watch over the children. It's also possibale the farther will only be aloud to phone, send letters, presents etc, if contact is aloud at all.

Good luck, do a bit of research yourself just in case, and I hope everything works out ok.